Rams Injure Fans on Fan Appreciation Day
Posted on January 4, 2010
| The Editor
Only the Rams could start a new “Fan Appreciation Day” and in the process, injure two fans while going for stinky gear from a stinky team.
Two “fans” fell out of the stands on Sunday while reaching for shoes that were tossed in to the stands by Rams players.
One left strapped to a gurney, but apparently Coach Spags seemed to think both fans were not seriously hurt at the press conference.
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Rams Take First Place in Losing
Posted on January 4, 2010
| The Editor
Good news everyone! Because of their complete and total suckage, the Rams have managed to grab ahold of 2010’s #1 draft pick!
Oh yeah…they lost the game vs the 49ers though. Totally got killed.
But now we have the #1 pick in the next draft, which is huge, because we really haven’t done all that well with the #2 pick. Chris Long? Eh. We’ll see. Jason Smith? Ditto, though he was screwed up by the Rams bizarre choice to not play him right away and when they did, play him at a foreign position.
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Photoshopping St. Louis: The Rams’ Problem Child
Posted on December 22, 2009
| The Editor
For your wayback-moment of the day, here’s the original.
Incognito Delivers Parting Shot to St. Louis
Posted on December 21, 2009
| The Editor
Those last three dumb-ass penalties that Rams Guard Richie Incognito earned in his last game as a Ram cost him $50,000 in fines. When asked about the fines today, Incognito had this to say:
“With the fine of 50 grand, I would have gladly paid more to get out of that situation in St. Louis,” Incognito said Sunday after the New England Patriots beat the Bills 17-10 in Ralph Wilson Stadium.
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The Bills are Really Happy to See Richie Incognito
Posted on December 17, 2009
| The Editor
Kawika Mitchell plays for the Bills and when he heard that everyone’s favorite ex-Rams offensive linemen Richie Incognito signed with his team, he took to his Twitter account to tell the world about how happy he was to play with the man voted the “Dirtiest Player in the NFL”
He later recanted, because he basically had to after his team PR team crawled up his big ass.
Twitter is awesome.
Steven Jackson Loves Ernest Movies
Posted on December 16, 2009
| The Editor
We love it!
Rams running back Steven Jackson tweeted out his love for “Ernest Saves Christmas” while hanging out at teammate Mike Karney’s house last night:
Do we love this so much because we can’t think of a better celebrity pairing than Steven Jackson and the late Jim Varney, or just because its nice to know SJ39 can take a moment and forget what team he plays for?
Answer: Both.
The Rams Release Problem Child Richie Incognito
Posted on December 16, 2009
| The Editor
Yesterday afternoon, ole “Coach Spags” of our St. Louis Rams finally found what we all were hoping he would some day: His balls.
Finally after costing us a tons of penalty yards and being a general douche for pretty much the whole time he was here, the Rams cut Richie Incognito.
Let him have it Coach! Tell this punk he’s outa here!
“As with all other personnel moves, this is what we felt was in the best interest of the team at this time,” said Spagnuolo.
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Mayor Slay Institutes Draft to Restock Rams Roster
Posted on November 18, 2009
| The Editor
For immediate release:
Monday, after the Rams’ Wide Receiver Keenan Burton suffered a season-ending knee injury, Mayor Slay introduced the draft for all St. Louis men between the ages of 22 and 30. Men selected are to report immediately to Rams Park, put on the pads and play until they are hurt, at which point they can go back to their normal lives knowing that they have served their city in it’s time of need.
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The Rams Win the Slap Fight Between the Two NFL Sissies
Posted on November 2, 2009
| The Editor
Holy crap the Rams won a game!
Let me rephrase: Steve Jackson won a game. The rest of them stood around and took penalties for a few hours.
For those that missed the game, here’s a recap: There were tons of dropped balls and penalties and, well…here’s a clip from the game:
Of course there will be those that will spend all day today talking about this being a “turing point” and how this was when people took control, but lets cut the crap.
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The Rams Traded Someone
Posted on October 21, 2009
| The Editor
It was Wil Witherspoon. Its ok if you’ve never heard of him, and if thats the case you are totally not going to know the guy we got for him, Brandon Gibson, a rookie wide receiver from the Eagles.
Here’s your scouting report from the Rams. They are psyched.
“Brandon is a young receiver that we have followed since training camp,” Rams GM Billy Devaney said in a statement. “He has good size (6-0 and 210), good hands and had a very productive preseason.
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