You know that girlfriend you had in highschool that wasn’t bad at the time but looking back she was actually kinda chubs, but it doesn’t really matter because you were kinda chubs too, but in college you slimmed down and ended up with a pretty hot new girlfriend and you would always go home and see your old girlfriend because you are her were still cool and then one day she was like “Hey can you come to this thing?” and you were like, “I’ll try but I have to do this stuff for my hot wife.” and then you didn’t show because you had other important things to do and you were just really being nice by saying you would try, but then the old girlfriend was all like “You suck.” and you were all like “Umm, why are you so pissed?” and she was like “I don’t know why I ever liked you, you are a jerk…just kidding I love you.” and then you were like “You’re crazy” and then got mad and was all “Nevermind I hate you and I with I would have never done that thing  you like with my thumbs, your right ear and that piece of salmon.” and then you’re like, “Ok, bye” and then she’s like “I’ve always loved you! Why did you leave me” and then you’re like “Um you had your chance” and then she’s like “You got me pregnant” so then you sent a dude over to abort that crap but then you realized that you last dated her 10 years ago so it would be less like abortion and more like child murder which was way more expensive so  you call it off but it turns out that she was lying and just started dating your friend so then you are like “Stop calling me”?