morons

This morning at 6am a new Chick-Fil-A, the chicken-centric fast food chain, opened in Des Peres to a line of a few die-hard fans that camped out last night, in the bitter cold, to be among the first to enter the restaurant. This is all the proof we need that fast food rots your brain. A group of four college-age students from Arnold showed up outside the store at 5 this morning with a tent to be the first in line. [Read More]

You know that important bill you not going to get? No? Oh, well…it’s on 270 by Dorsett Road. We’re sure it will be fine though, we hear mortgage companies are usually pretty chill on stuff like that. U.S. Postal Inspector Dan Taylor says the back door of a tractor trailer popped open on Interstate 270 near Dorsett Road in Maryland Heights around 4:30 a.m. Sunday. The truck continued onto Interstate 55 to Ste. [Read More]

You should be ashamed of yourself. The deer are what make Town and Country such a nice place to live. It’s aldermen like you who should be shot. That’s one of the emails Town and Country Alderman David Karney sent to fellow Alderman Fred Meyland-Smith after the two disagreed on how to handle their community’s deer population problem. We initially guessed it was because Alderman Fred Meyland-Smith uses a hyphenated last name which, as we all know, is only done by people that no respect of the sanctity of last names and deserve nothing but our collective ire. [Read More]

A Collinsville woman has been charged by the police for attempting to hire a hitman with the intent of having the father of her child killed. Christina Keck offered a measly $600 bucks to a man to kill her baby daddy…but the guy was an undercover cop…or he just said that to seem more bad ass after he turned her in for trying to have someone kill a man for less than the price of a MacBook. [Read More]

The South City Hope Lutheran School‘s nativity scene was stolen recently in the beginning of a crime wave that can only escalate to other honorable crimes such as throwing puppies against brick walls, kicking old lady’s in the neck and talking the whole time through the Yogi Bear movie. The theft happened over the weekend. Nearly 30 figures were painted and added to the display. Kindergartners dedicated parts of this to honor someone special. [Read More]

Richard Mehan, a 19 year old Mizzou freshman from Chesterfield, is in the hospital after falling from his dorm’s balcony Saturday night. The St. Louis High School grad fell from a fifth-floor balcony to a fourth-floor Laws hall landing at 2 am and is in “fair” condition at a Columbia hospital. What could he have been doing at 2am Missouri University Police captain Brain Weimer? Weimer said Mehan had been drinking. [Read More]

Way back in March of this year we told you about the Wentzville Timberland High school, and their teaching staff’s stomping on the poor little journalists of their school paper because they wouldn’t let them write about tattoos. Here’s how we summarized the situation it at the time: No one is arguing that the principal has the last call in his school, and we aren’t going to get in to that here. [Read More]

From time to time we like to dip in to the ole Missed Connections section in St. Louis’ own Craigslist. Why? Because these things are crazy stupid. Like KSDK airing a show about Cardinals highlights Thursday night during prime-time stupid. Denny’s South county (southcounty) Attractive blonde sitting with I assume was her husband, couldnt keep from looking at you, very sexy. Nothing like spending your dinner trying to avoid eye-contact from the creepy guy a few tables away that clearly never did get the hint to make Denny’s somehow suck even more. [Read More]

Despite our previous thoughts on the matter, it turns out that one doesn’t have to know what role something fills in order to steal it. Take for instance a Washington Park man that was electrocuted and subsequently killed Saturday morning when he tried to steal copper wire from an Ameren Illinois substation. When their service people arrived at the site of the outtage they found the dead man, whom police have not yet identified. [Read More]

In one of the finest mugshots to come out of the St. Louis area in some time (No, its not better than Dan McLaughlin’s.) we have James Clinton, arrested for DUI and driving with a suspended license. There’s no doubt from the look on Jimmy’s face that the Police have finally rolled out their “Make All Arrests Watch KSDK’s Local News Broadcast with Leisa Zigman” program. Seems to be unnecessarily cruel though. [Read More]