What do you do when you product now seems old and the kids these days with their iPods and internets don’t respond to your marketing?  Make it extreme!

In this case, that means add a word that still technically means the same thing as eat but sounds awesome because generally its about cars.

Wheaties Fuel!

…oh and add Pujols to the box.

Rick Ankiel has come to an agreement to play with cross-state pseudo-baseball team the Royals.  Soon Royals fall in love with Rick’s ability to hit the occasional beautiful home run and the breeze in center field he provides on most at-bats for those steamy summer night games.

Ankiel with make $3.25 million next year because he wasn’t very good last year and didn’t play that much.

Over the last weekend the national media descended on St. Louis for a chance to talk steroids with Tony LaRussa, Albert Pujols and of course Slightly-Less-Big Mac.

Pujols had some really nice supportive things to say about McGwire to the press, but we can’t shake this feeling that Pujols is a little confused about what Mark confessed too exactly…

Maybe not though.  McGwire did seem pretty happy dancing with those “Single Ladies” in that video.

[Ring! … Ring! … Ring!]

Scott Boras: Hello?

Rick Ankiel: Hey!  How have you been?

SB: Uh, good.  Who’s this?

RA: Ha!  Yeah…so haven’t heard from you in a while.

SB: I know…I’ve been busy.  Seriously, who is this?

RA: Rick!  Rick Ankiel.

SB: Oh yeah!  Sorry…you know…bad connection.  How’s the old pitching arm kid?!

RA: Scott, remember?  I’m an outfielder now.

SB: …oh yeah. Real shame about that.

In a story about as shocking as the day Rosie ODonnell came out of the closet, today St. Louis Cardinals hitting coach and former home run champ Mark McGwire confessed he took steroids during his major league career, including 1998.  Which of course is the year that JD Drew first played major league baseball…oh and he and some crazy black guy hit a bunch of home runs.

The Cardinals have finally sealed the deal!  It took a lot of dinners and getting their had slapped away from some boobs, but after a weekend of some heavy petting, the finally went all the way and got the deal done with the apple of their offseason’s eye, Matt Holiday.

Holliday announced the deal himself on ESPN Radio yesterday. (No, not the St. Louis version 101 ESPN, the national version.  Bitch slap!)

According to ESPN’s Jayson Stark our very own Albert Pujols is baseball’s MVP of the decade!  …duh.

After all, what didn’t Sir Albert do in this decade, outside of forgetting to get to the big leagues until 2001, neglecting to finish in the top four in the MVP voting once and never quite getting around to winning any Nobel Peace Prizes?

[Read More]

No surprise here.

Still worried about Holliday?  Don’t.  Worry about Pujols, the future $30 million dollar man.

Photo from ESPN.com

Its October, the MLB playoffs are  here and the Cardinals are back in them since their World Series winner in 2006, but if you are the one Cardinal fan in St. Louis that doesn’t have cable, any friends or know where a bar is, you are out of luck!

Don’t worry though, St. Louis Post Dispatch sport media columnist, Dan Ceasar has your back!

After trading away pretty much all of their top-end young talent in deals for Mark DeRosa and Matt Holiday, the Cardinals needed to sign #1 pick, and hard-throwing Texas right-hander Shelby Miller.

Miller suddenly becomes the number one best pitching prospect in the Cardinals farm system.

After initially asking for 4 million to sign, Miller and the Cards settled in on 2.875 Million.  Still a lot of money, but a lot better for the Cards than 4 mill!