The Last Last Samurai Got Arrested in Kirkwood

 Posted on July 2, 2012  |  The Editor

The movies taught us that “The Last Samurai” was an Tom Cruise-looking American general with long hair, but as usual the real “Last Samurai” is some old skranky-looking guy from Kirkwood. Here’s how it went down: Two guys start arguing in a Kirkwood home late last week and soon they were told to take it outside, which 46 year old William Earnhart did…right after he grabbed a samurai sword real quick, because fair shmair, you should have found a sword too if you didn’t want your arm cut off. [Read More]
fight  kirkwood 

Kirkwood Was Totally Racist a Long Time Ago

 Posted on June 13, 2012  |  The Editor

Newsflash: Everyone was really really racist a while back. We know, you’re totally shocked. Who would have thought the residents of an area that was worked by slaves would be racist, but it’s true. Here’s the proof: A viewer alerted News 4 of an old covenant in the Osage Hills neighborhood. After an investigation, it was revealed that a 1926 agreement between the original neighbors blocked certain races from occupying homes. [Read More]
kirkwood  missouri  racism 

Kirkwood Lady Thinks Spending Nearly A Thousand Dollars on a Banner Made a Difference

 Posted on August 10, 2011  |  The Editor

The United States government is having a rough go of it lately and someone needed to do something! Someone needed to step up, be a leader and fill that emptiness we all seem to be carrying around these days! Who’s it going to be? Show us a sign! At about 11:30 AM on Tuesday, a plane flew by the S&P offices in New York dragging a banner behind it saying: “THANKS FOR THE DOWNGRADE. [Read More]
banner  government  kirkwood  Lucy Nobbe  morons  politics 

Kirkwood Middle School Doesn’t Like Hell…or Jesus…Maybe Both

 Posted on March 18, 2011  |  The Editor

“Jesus, he scares the hell out of you” That’s what was on some Kirkwood Middle Schooler’s shirt the other day, and we can sit down some time over General Mills flavored coffee to discuss the reverse cleverness of that shirt and how it’s, frankly, a rare shot of honesty to claim that Jesus is scaring you in to doing good things, but that is for another day. Today we’re talking about how Kirkwood Middle School wouldn’t let Michelle Ramirez wear that shirt to class. [Read More]
hell  jesus  kirkwood  middle school  morons 

Michael Moore of Kirkwood Hates You Unless You Died in a War

 Posted on April 27, 2010  |  The Editor

Back in February 2008 five people were killed during a shooting at the Kirkwood City Hall. A lovely memorial was commissioned, work began, and right before it got finished Michael Moore, the loser in the 2008 Kirkwood mayoral race, not the fat guy with a camera, has decided to sue the city because unless you got your head blown off in a war, the taxpayers don’t own you crap. …stupid people getting shot…. [Read More]
kirkwood  memorial  michael moore  politics  shooting 

Whoops! Registered Sex Offender Working For Kirkwood School District

 Posted on December 21, 2009  |  The Editor

You know that creepy cafeteria worker at your kids school and seems to look a little too long while shoveling the creamed corn? …I mean he’s weird, but its a school…they don’t actually hire people that would…you know…nothing to worry about. Oh wait. Your kid doesn’t go to the Kirkwood School District do they? Ok, then go ahead and worry. They hire molesters there. Think about that everyone that hasn’t molested a kid and can’t find a job! [Read More]
cafeteria  kirkwood  morons  pedophile