Remember a few weeks ago when the Cardinals were all charged up and going against the upstart Cincinnati Reds and then they all got in that big fight because Brandon Phillips was all like “the Cardinals are bitches” and then in the game Phillips was like “Hey Yadi whats up?” and Yadi was all like “Don’t tap me bro!”, then the fight broke out and Reds’ pitcher Johnny Cueto started kicking Carptener in the back and Jason LaRue in the head a bunch of times and we were pissed because we missed the whole thing live because we were making a turkey sandwich? Well that sandwich was great and LaRue just retired because of the concussion he got that night. The trick is brown mustard…not for concussions…for sandwiches. We’re fairly certain brown mustard does little to nothing for concussions.