An 18-year-old man checked himself in to the Franklin County jail to serve his 30-day sentence, but he came with a little extra luggage…duct taped and tucked in to his ass. Here’s a hint as to what the tried to smuggle in: It wasn’t a sandwich, which is too bad because a sandwich sounds like a great thing to smuggle in. Just go with one of those stinkier cheeses and you probably won’t even notice the ass taste.

According to a lawsuit and as reported by the Post Dispatch, guards in the St. Louis jail (aka “City Wordhouse”) have been making prisoners fight in “gladiator-style” matches. Which is kinda awesome, but wrong of course…because…it’s just…um…OMG tell us about it! Are there swords?!

Some inmates named in the suit were both victim and attacker, the suit claims. Lawyers for those inmates say guards sometimes used promises of special privileges, extra food and snacks to enlist an attacker. Other times, they say, an inmate was himself threatened with attack unless he agreed to fight.

[Read More]

Friday night the deadline ordered by the Mayor’s office gave passed, and so police converged on downtown’s Kiener Plaza to disperse the Occupy STL protestors. Many did just that, but 27 were arrested and dude…you’re not going to believe this…but like…they went to the same jail as like people that totally broke laws and junk! Eww!

KMOX’s Brad Choat, on the scene outside the jail Saturday afternoon  reports one of the protesters was released shortly before 2 pm.  She is a 37-year-old woman from St. Jacob, Illinois who says she was kept in a cell with eight other women, including two non-protest prisoners.

[Read More]

The Jefferson County Police are offering the chance to stay in their new jail one night, meals included, for the low low price of $30. What a deal! …right? Hmm…it sounds interesting, but something isn’t quite sitting right with us here…

The newest place to stay in downtown Jefferson City opens for business next month, and the management is offering a grand-opening special: $30 for a one-night stay with dinner, breakfast and your own private cell. Every guest will get a free booking photo and a complimentary “Cole County Jail” T-shirt.

[Read More]

Maybe the St. Charles County Jail should invest in name tags, or maybe just a new policy instructing the staff to ask someone’s name before they release them from jail. Pretty clear that current the “Which one of you are supposed to be released?!” method has some flaws.

Matthew C. Gierer, 26, of the 4200 block of Spring Branch Drive in St. Charles County was accidentally released Tuesday and was free for nearly eight hours before he turned himself in about 7:15 p.m.

[Read More]

In a story so weird, only a giant, airport stomping storm could blow it off the front page, two prisoners escaped from the St. Louis Justice Center. A jail so high-tech that it’s only venerability are movie escape plots.

Inmates Vernon Lamont Collins, 34, and David White, 33, apparently broke out a front window and scaled down the front of the building at 200 S. Tucker Boulevard using black bedsheets tied together with rope. The mostly translucent window on the west facade faces Tucker, directly across the street from City Hall.

[Read More]

“Hey, what if I just say I’m paralyzed…I mean hell, I can just sit there when they come to check it out! I’m a god-damned genius.”

I’ll give you one guess where this amazingly stupid idea came from. Yup. East St. Louis.

A judge in East St. Louis sentenced 25-year-old Amy Rush of Glen Carbon on Monday to two years behind bars for her role in the scam. Her ex-husband, Jeffrey Rush, was ordered Friday to spend six and a half years in prison and to repay more than $300,000. Amy Rush must make $241,000 in restitution.

[Read More]

We’ve been following this case here at Punching Kitty since we basically first launched over a year ago and it looks like its finally come to a close.

Former producer for local sports talk outfit KFNS Ryan Huff has been  sentenced to 25 years in prison after pleading guilty to…deep breath…two felony counts of production of child pornography, one felony count of enticement of a child, one felony count of receipt of child pornography, two felony counts of possession of child pornography and one felony count of transferring obscene material to a minor.  Whew!