The Urban Assault Ride Returns to St. Louis

The Urban Assault Ride is coming back to St. Louis on August 15th! If you’ve heard of it, I’m sure you’re excited and if you’ve never heard of it, this bearded gentleman on the right riding a big wheel should get you sufficiently up to speed. The Urban Assault Ride™ is a truly unique cycling event…and quickly becoming one of the biggest in country! Here’s how it works: You and your teammate will set out on a city-wide quest for ‘checkpoints’ on your favorite two-wheeled steeds. [Read More]

Downtown Was Blue For Autism

You’re doing what now? Blue lights are flooding the Gateway One Building Wednesday evening. Lumiere Place and fountains in Kiener Plaza and at Citygarden are also going blue Oh…we get it. No we don’t. It’s part of a national campaign that encourages people around the country to start a conversation about autism in their community by hosting a blue event during Autism Awareness Month. Awesome. Great. …but the connection to blue is… [Read More]

Oldest Living Missourian Dies, Tells Everyone Bogus Tips on How to Live as Long as Her

Missouri’s oldest resident has finally kicked the bucket. 112 year old Florence Poe, died on Tuesday from complications of a stroke she had experienced a few days prior. Born on August 24th, 1897, Florence lived on her own until her 90’s when she moved in with her daughter and then later at the Ratliff Care Center. Michael Ratliff, the center’s administrator, said Poe remained active in her last months. He once asked her the secret to a long life. [Read More]
Health  old  woman 

Two Brothers Get Heart Attacks at the Same Time

Two Poplar Bluff brothers went in to cardiac arrest at virtually the exact same time right next to one another. When Crocket Lacy went into cardiac arrest, he was lucky his brother, Ronnie, was there. Then Ronnie had his own heart attack. Both men were taken to a Poplar Bluff hospital emergency room, where both of their hearts stopped virtually simultaneously. Both were saved, but doctors are still amazed at the coincidence of two brothers going “code blue” at the same time. [Read More]

New Casino Opens to Allow Old People Slowly Die While Giving Their Money Away

St. Louis has another casino. Let me guess, its name has “arch”, “gateway” or “river” in it. The [River City] casino opened after a parade and ceremonies where St. Louis Cardinals’ baseball Hall of Famer Ozzie Smith pulled a lever on an oversized slot machine to officially open the doors. The 90,000 square foot casino game floor features more than 2,000 slot machines and 55 table games. The odd thing with non-Las Vegas casinos is that they are pretty much old folks home that serve drinks to young people at night. [Read More]

This Week in Duh: Living in St. Louis City is Unhealthy

Guess what?! Another study came out saying that living in St. Louis city proper is a death wish! Residents of St. Charles County have the best opportunities in Missouri to be healthy, while people who live in St. Louis city have the worst, according to a new report. To compile the report, researchers looked at data from the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the Environmental Protection Agency, the FBI, the U. [Read More]

Cottleville Mayor Likes the Wacky Tobaccy

Cottleville Mayor Don Yarber has joined the likes of luminaries such as Method Man and Cheech in support of legalizing medical marijuana. Break out those cookies yo! The mayor of Cottleville, a small Missouri town of about 3,000 people, is hoping the Missouri legislature passes a medical marijuana law, allowing those with prescriptions to buy the drug. Yarber, 70, is promoting the concept among lawmakers, a big step for a small town mayor where many constituents are thought to be conservative. [Read More]

St. Louis Gets Out-Skanked By Richmond, VA

For years we were #1 in the country. The champs! But our dynasty is finally over. Richmond, VA is now the Sexually Transmitted Disease capital of the United States. St. Louis has fallen to #2. St. Louis has finally relinquished its title as the sexually transmitted disease capital, dropping to number two in the country for rates of gonorrhea and chlamydia. For several years the city’s disease rates topped the country. [Read More]

KSDK Determined to Count Each and Every Swine Flu Death

From KSDK.com: Missouri has recorded its second swine flu death, and the first in the western part of the state. State health officials say a 24-year-old Independence woman died Wednesday night, several days after she was hospitalized with symptoms including diarrhea, coughing and extreme fatigue. Her name was not released. Look, KSDK, I don’t know how to tell you this…geez…um, we don’t care about Swine Flu any more. We’ve moved on to more important issues like Kanye West, so you should move on too. [Read More]

Apparently “Parades of Pink” Aren’t Just For the East Side

You know how sometimes you catch a glimpse of something and you are all like “Oh hells yeah! Where’s a change machine, I need me some singles…did these pants just get tight?” but then you read more and you hear this little drooping sound from your crotch? That just happened when I saw a news post for a “Parade of Pink”…its what what you think…its way way gayer. Members of the Wentville Firefighters Community Outreach will host a 7k run, a 1-mile walk and 1:30 p. [Read More]