David Freese can drive a baseball, but driving cars can still be a challenge. The Cardinals third basemen crashed his car Thursday while trying to avoid a deer. It’s his third accident over the last few years, but this crash didn’t involved alcohol and luckily Freese was unharmed.

Freese, 29, was heading south on Wildhorse Creek Road near Rieger Road in Wildwood when he crashed his 2011 black Range Rover into a tree to avoid a deer, said St. Louis County Police Officer Randy Vaughn. The crash occurred at 2:30 p.m.

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Not much to say about a three games as shitty as that, which is good, because we sure the hell don’t feel like writing much about it.

There’s no question the Cardinals choked this one away with their horrible…well, everything. The question is: Where does this sit in the pantheon of all time Cardinal chokes? We asked. You answered.

The consensus? This was horrible.

Now if you’ll excuse us, we need to go shave this playoff beard.

Arnold police are still looking for the bank robber who exclaimed “Go Cards!” on his way out the door with the cash. Welcome to St. Louis. This is what we do: break laws and watch baseball.

Police say the man entered the First Bank at 3850 Jeffco Boulevard, approached the teller and presented a note demanding money around 1:15 p.m. Friday.

After taking an undisclosed amount of money, the man reportedly yelled, “Go Cards!” and left the bank.

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As reported yesterday by ESPN, the Hall of Fame former Cardinal shortstop Ozzie Smith will be selling a large chunk of his MLB hardware via the SCP Actions company. The list of items includes: All 13 of his Gold Gloves, 11 All-Star Game rings, and most notably, his Cardinal National League championship rings from 1985 and 2004, and the Cardinal World Series rings he was given by the team after the 2006 and 2011 championships.

What do local news reporters turn to when they need a story, but nothing’s going on in our fair city? Time and time again, they turn to grass. No, that’s not even being used as a term for marijuana…the horrible truth is we’re actually talking about grass. A news story about grass. Seriously. Again. You local news people are horrible. Can’t imagine why everyone but old and retarded people think your broadcasts suck.

The young guard for the Washingon Wizards, Bradley Beal, wasn’t even watching the Cardinals game Friday night when they were coming back on a stunned Nationals teams and their fans, but when we saw the Cardinals won he reached for Twitter. He is from St. Louis after all.

STL turnupppp !!!

…I guess that’s means something to the effect of “I’m happy the Cardinals won.” because that’s how most of Washington-area fans took it, and it did not go over particularly well.

Since there’s no way we were sleeping last night, we scoured the web for stuff to read about the latest Cardinals dramatic comeback. Nothing was better than the Twitter stream of one Washington Nationals writer (@washingnats) who went (bottom to top) from crazy confident to “Thats messed up.” in the span of a few tweets.

Here’s our mediocre attempt at Photoshoping his Twitter stream in a fun Facebook-sharable image:

Holy crap. What?! Um…how do we describe what just happend? Ok, here’s our best shot…

DJDHADKFDS!!!!KDSFASDFDS!!!??SDKFASDF;ADSMCMAEJEHEIE.S,AALALDLDLD!!!!!!!!!

Not bad.

Here’s a better description from ESPN:

Erasing an early six-run hole in Game 5 slowly but surely, the defending World Series champion Cardinals got a tying two-out, two-run single from Daniel Descalso and a go-ahead two-run single from Pete Kozma in the ninth inning and came all the way back to beat the Washington Nationals 9-7 on Friday night and win their NL Division Series.

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First off, well done Cardinals on making it past the Wild Card game and in to the NLDS! This new Wild Card game sure is fun! We hear it’s super popular in Atlanta right now. (Kidding. Even with the Cardinals winning, this game is stupid.)

For some reason we think it’s important to leave this link here to the definition of the infield fly rule. It’s really not that hard to understand.

What is going on here with Cardinals starting pitching prospect Shelby Miller’s Saturday evening tweet? Is it a riddle? Is he really asking whatever he’s trying to ask? Is he trying to say ‘iPhone’? Is little Timmy in trouble by the old mill?!

via @ShelbyMiller19