Ryan Franklin Looks Stupid

The Cardinals had the day off yesterday which worked out well since the annual charity golf tournament put on by the Pujols Foundation was yesterday and putting out a “sorry everyone is at work” would have made for a lame “celebrity” golf game over at the swank St. Alben’s course. In attendance were Shaq, Tony LaRussa’s good buddy, Bob Knight, Bo Jackson, Ozzie Smith, Mark McGwire and of course all the usual Cardinal teammates. [Read More]

Pujols Was on Letterman Last Night

Initial reactions to watching Pujols on the David Letterman Show last night: – What an odd choice of a song to walk Pujols out to. – Julio Franco was the player of choice for little Albert? – Wow. Forgot how much this guy needs a spanglish translator. – Dave asked him what team is “laughable”, but Pujols didn’t answer. You were thinking of the Pirates Albert. – “I don’t like to guess [on the pitch coming]. [Read More]

Bill O’Reilly Talks With Albert Pujols

In the photo below Bill O’Reilly chats with Albert Pujols about… A. O’Reilly: “Excuse me senior, but how long does it take you to cut Busch Stadium’s lawn?” Pujols: “Ha ha ha…that’s funny. Now you die.” B. Which of the two of them is more loved in St. Charles County. C. Bill’s checking for Albert’s green card and asking him if its ok he came to this country to take the job of a hard-working american first-basemen like Steve Pearce of the Pirates. [Read More]

Don’t Worry About Pujols Becoming a Cub

By all accounts, Cardinals mega-star Albert Pujols is a really nice guy. So nice in fact that the fact he said anything bad about the Cubs’ stadium basically is the equivalent of us telling them that although old and quaint, their stadium is pretty overrated for a brick circle that makes me think more of a bull fighting right where the Cubs keep charging for that championship and whiffing each time than a baseball park. [Read More]

Albert Pujols Has a Cousin Named Harry

Harry Pujols…or phonetically…Harry Poo-holes. Seriously. Here’s a photo: Confirmed from a good source that is this in fact our very own Albert’s cousin. Now that we’ve settled that its true, there’s the matter of why the hell anyone with the last name of Pujols would go by Harry. Hank…Harrison…Skippy…Lorenzo…Albertsmycousingivemethings?! All of those would go much better in front of Pujols than Harry. We know what you are thinking: Use your middle name! [Read More]

Pujols Likes Milk, Well We Think That’s Milk…Of Course it is. Why Wouldn’t It Be?

Albert “Stop Calling My El Hombre” Pujols finally got on a Got Milk ad. Apparently being the best player in a major sport doesn’t qualify you ahead of a bunch of crappy musicians, actors and a guy that beat the hell out of his girlfriend. In fact we here are loving the irony of how bad ass Pujols’ Got Milk ad is in comparison to Chris Brown’s…ahem…less bad ass ad. [Read More]

Cardinals Have Internal Discussions About Trading Brendan Ryan for Alex Rodriguez

According to our sources the St. Louis Cardinals have had internal discussions about trading injured so-so shortstop Brendan Ryan to the New York Yankees for All-Star third baseman Alex Rodriguez. It is not clear whether the Cardinals have brought this idea to the attention of the Yankees. Even if the Yankees were actually to consider this offer it might be a difficult to one to work out as A-Rod is a good contributor and has recently bonded with the New York fans after reclaiming the World Series title in 2009. [Read More]

Phillies Want to Trade Ryan Howard for Pujols

Um, no. That’s the rumor though according to an ESPN article. Internal discussions in the Phillies front office have centered on pitching a deal that would trade one team’s MVP first baseman for another. The logic for a Howard for Pujols swap, as discussed within the Phillies’ organization, could fall along these lines: Pujols, 30 years old, is eligible for free agency after the 2011 season, and early conversations about a contract extension have not led to any long-term deal. [Read More]

Five St. Louis Fights We Want To See Go Down

1. Rams’ Steven Jackson vs Cardinals’ Albert Pujols The two faces of their franchises and two nice guys, beating the hell out each other. Should be awesome. Winner? Pujols. Steven Jackson is great, but Pujols never loses. 2. KMOV’s Virginia Kerr vs KTVI’s April Simpson There’s history here, which will make this a sellout for sure. Some would see this and think this is some testosterone-fueled idea to see to chicks brawl and they’d be right, if they thought I wanted this to be in bikinis, which I don’t! [Read More]

El Hombre Doesn’t Understand How Nicknames Work

According to Bernie Miklasz, Pujols has told the media and the fans to stop calling him “El Hombre” because of possible disrespect to Cardinal great Stan Musial. “I don’t want to be called that,” Pujols said. “There is one man that gets that respect, and that’s Stan Musial. He’s the Man. He’s the Man in St. Louis. And I know ‘El Hombre’ means ‘The Man’ in Spanish. But Stan is The Man. [Read More]