PUNCHING KITTY

The police are officially out of ideas. This site welcomes our new criminal overlords. Tuesday, the department will unveil a new vehicle it’s calling ‘The Exterminator.’ It’s a refurbished armored truck that’s equipped with video cameras, digital recorders and live video streaming computers. Yes, it totally sounds like the St. Clair Police Department are getting in to the “Bang Bus” porno game, but sadly that’s not the plan… ‘The Exterminator’ will be parked in front of suspects’ homes and video from the four cameras is streamed live to computers at the Sheriff’s Department. [Read More]

Maryland Heights residents and commuters got a lovely present this morning when a local beverage distributer, Cott Beverages USA, had an issue that resulted in an ammonia leak. Fire officials released warnings and instructed everyone to stay in their homes if they could smell the ammonia. It was never strong enough to cause and evacuations and by 8am it was all but evaporated. Maryland Heights officials have no firm details on the cause of the noxious fumes, and have asked city officials to see where St. [Read More]

When the disappointing 2010 season for the St. Louis Cardinals came to an end, Tony LaRussa packed most of his baseball knickknacks in to boxes, loaded them in to his car and drove home to California. He claimed he wanted to use the time to contemplate about the lost season and figure out if he still had the urge to manage the his 16th Cardinals team through the grueling 162-game season. [Read More]

The train that takes the wheezing fat parents that turn to their excited child and say “Maybe…maybe…wheeew….maybe we take the train for a little….while? That’ll be fun huh? …no, walking isn’t always fun and we can see the monkeys some other time…lets just ride the train for a little while and then, ooooohhh! Dippin Dots!” derailed Saturday afternoon in a tunnel near “Big Cat Country”. No one was injured. One car had derailed wheels about 5 inches off the track, but it did not tip over. [Read More]

A “Diverging Diamond” interchange has been installed and is now open at highway 270 and Dorsett Road and watch out red-blooded Americans, but for just a second it will have you driving on the “wrong” side of the road! The terrorists have won.

According to Wikipedia:

A diverging diamond interchange is a rare form of diamond interchange in which the two directions of traffic on the non-freeway road cross to the opposite side on both sides of the bridge at the freeway. It is unusual in that it requires traffic on the freeway overpass (or underpass) to briefly drive on the opposite side of the road from what they are accustomed. The diverging diamond interchange was listed by Popular Science magazine as one of the best innovations in 2009 (engineering category) in “Best of What’s New 2009”.

This is really a brillant idea. It allows for easy flow to get on either direction of the highway with zero detriment to the traffic staying on Dorsett and all it will take the littlest bit of ablilty for St. Louis drivers to read and comprehend traffic signs and not be dumbass hoosiers about driving on the other side of the street for 100 feet. …This isn’t going to work is it?

The Missouri DMV is trying and expecting some initial issues:

“We know there will be a learning curve for motorists, so we please ask drivers to pay attention, and follow the signs, signals and striping to guide you through the new interchange. Once motorists get used to the diverging diamond, we think they will be pleased with the smooth traffic flow and safety in accessing I-270.”

There’s even a video on YouTube (see it after the jump) explaining how it all works and proving that not only is it not confusing, but actually will be a huge benefit to commuters. St. Louis YouTube commenters are crapping all over it though.

Could we possibly make these intersections more complicated? I don’t think so.

“…also how the hell are you supposed to work these DVD players? Hit input my son says? What input?! All I know is I want to watch the first season of Mama’s Family and I ain’t no dang scientist!” Here’s hoping he doesn’t believe in voting.

I already crashed

At least he’s honest.

This is going to make my drunken drive from Westport to Denny’s incredibly difficult!!

Ha ha. He’s not joking. This asshole is going to leave the Trainwreck Saloon and kill someone because he’ll be “dammed if Obama Bin Laden is going to make him drive on the “socialist” side of the road!”

The more you know: The first “DDI” was in Missouri as well actually, appearing in Springfield, MO on June 21st, 2009.

Even more stuff to know: You know that thing you do when you try to discreetly check to see if your zipper is up at work? Everyone notices and knows exactly what you are doing.

via KSDK

[Read More]

The Rams beat the Chargers at home Sunday to pull to an unlikely 3 – 3 record. KMOV had the game for a change and pretty much pissed themselves with an overly-excited post-game show so that was “fun”. In the kinda way that watching a retarded kid get excited about tater tots is fun for a second and then you are like “Dude, calm the hell down. They are just tater tots. [Read More]

Yes, Nelly has had a star on the Delmar Loop’s Walk of Fame for some time now (his start debuted in 2006), but apparently it meant nothing since the man himself had never yet been “presented” with it. Apparently this star was really important to him, but not enough to take 5 minutes to shake Look Godfather Joe Edwards’ hand sometime during the last four years. This all seems pretty stupid to make a big deal about his “induction” in to the Walk of Fame now, but we’ll concede that he did eventually give a crap enough to make an appearance for his hometown fans at some point and…what? [Read More]

The great thing about Twitter is that if you ever want to know how dilated your local morning news anchor’s sniz is while she’s going through labor, you can know. We live in the future. Where’s our god-dammed hoverboard?! Starting with: “This [sic] it! I’m in labor, people!” KMOV morning anchor and resident cutie, Virginia Kerr started the process of labor and a steady stream of tweets up until a few moments before she pooped out her baby boy. [Read More]

On Wednesday’s new South Park episode, entitled “It’s a Jersey Thing“, the plot revolves around New Jersey and it’s “culture” quickly taking over the whole United States. At one point, as the residents of South Park ready for the coming onslaught of over-moused, over-tanned Situation disciples, we are shown the local news of our fair town that has already fallen to the New Jersey masses: Loving the guy on the right with the spiked hair, but we aren’t sure why they felt the need to just slap in a stock photo of KMOV sports guy Steve Savard ****on the left though. [Read More]

As our friends at the St. Louis Egotist have already pointed out this week, Apple will be re-opening their St. Louis Galleria location in new bigger digs. It will be Apple’s biggest mall-based store ever, topping out at 6,000 square feet and will feature a new “Genius Lounge” area in the front of the store equipped with free WiFi and cute little emo Apple chicks that will convince you to buy another iPad (“Ok so you have one right? [Read More]