PUNCHING KITTY

Scott Simmons, a 46 year old man from Alton, Illinois has been arrested after “hundreds of files” of kiddie p0rn were found on his computer. KMOV didn’t say how the child pornography was found, but after looking at his mugshot he probably either took it in to a Best Buy to get it fixed and forgot to change his little boy in the Donald Duck outfit wallpaper or simply ran around Alton yelling “Me likey the kiddies! [Read More]

Apparently it’s someone’s job to “survey” the national gas prices over at the Associated Press and that sad little bastard has some shocking news for you: Gas prices have gone up 5.23 cents in the last two weeks! Aaahhhh! Quick lets go to war with someone…wait no…maybe it’s the President’s fault…or bears. Wait wait wait, be cool. At least we live in St. Louis and have the nation’s lowest average gas regular unleaded gas prices. [Read More]

The day before his current team was dealt an heartbreaking loss, Sam Bradford’s alma mater, Oklahoma, lost to Mizzou and in turn, Sam Bradford lost the bet he had in place with Rams wide receiver Danario Alexander. Quite a crappy weekend for Rams Quarterback Sam Bradford, but he seems to be enjoying himself all the same: Our Photoshopping (perfectly suitable for sending a photo link to your friends at Oklahoma) of a happy Sam Bradford rocking Mizzou gear is only a preview of reality, as the loser of the bet had to wear their collegate rival’s colors during practice the next week. [Read More]

Update: After making all the way to his native Warrenton, MO, his parents urged him to turn in himself, which is what he did Friday. Original post follows… Smirky McPimplehead over here somehow managed to escape the dead fish handshake like grip of the St. Louis County police Wednesday night when he jumped out of the transport van in downtown St. Charles. Jonathan Banta, 21, of the 5000 block of West Clay Street in St. [Read More]

Everything is on Facebook. Everything. Because of that little fact, its a great way to spend your Thursday night, going through things to see how popular they are based on their number of “Likes”. For instance, we found St. Louis’ Mayor, Francis Slay‘s page rocking a pretty damn low 35 “likes”: 35! You know what has more than 35 likes? Sure you can name a bunch of popular people that have way more than 35 likes. [Read More]

A tattoo parlor in Heckler, Illinois has been giving out free body art in the form of breast cancer awareness ribbon tattoos for a week now and the demand for a free pink ribbon tat has been surprising. There’s been a steady line at the Eternal Ink Tattoo Studio in Hecker, Illinois since last Thursday. The small shop stocked up on supplies and hired extra help to keep the lines moving. [Read More]

Umm…is your bank robber bald? No, ok, see ya Bill. Are they a woman? Sweet, ok. Not Jim or Harry then. Maybe we’re looking for Anne…wait! Is your person horrible disfigured with a giant inhuman nose, creepy cheek bones, off-center eyes and lips like two pontoons? Yes? We know who you are now! This freak: Apparently Frankenstein up here took part in the robbery of a St. Charles payday loan joint and the police thing this retarded sketch is going to help them crack the case. [Read More]

You know it really sounds like the best way to “suggest” new articles to a reader is pull the keywords from a headline and then search your back stories. Simple! Example: “Man Gives Out Puppies to Poor Kids” Find the keywords: “Man Gives Out Puppies to Poor Kids“ Go get some other fun stories about puppies and kids. Everyone wins! Turns out not so simple as our tipster found out: [Read More]

Police are hunting down a guy that walked in to one of those strip mall Military Recruiter places in Fairview Heights and stabbed the sergeant when he turned his back for a moment. The recruiter had exited a back room, saw the man in the reception area and asked him if he was interested in joining the military. The recruiter then turned around in his office chair to get some paperwork, police said. [Read More]

We were alerted by our tipsters that, bizarrely enough, NBC’s national news story about how everyone is pissed off at all politicians, no matter their affliliation, should be set at Woofies hot dogs in Overland.

Sure to be thrilled with the news are some of our local celebrities got to be national celebrities for a second when you can catch their autographed 8×10 in the background. Take for instance Fox2 anchor Kevin Steincross’ glossy by the door:

Congrats Kevin!

They even included the standard “I came here to enjoy a hot dog,…what’s this? A camera?! I better say something while walking towards it.” shot:

It’s all coming together for Overland, Missouri now! We hear NBC has more plans for our little suburb, as shooting should begin on Overland’s To Catch a Predator episode any day now. …or maybe we made that up. You don’t know. Just to be safe, if you head off to any meetings in Overland with a young child, make sure you bring plenty of condoms and Mike’s Hard Lemonade. We hear they go easier on you if you bring gifts.

See the actual NBC story with a St. Louis wiener vendor backdrop after the jump!

[Read More]