PUNCHING KITTY: 2009 - 2013

Punching Kitty was a writing project for the city of St. Louis to have a little fun and try to get everyone to stop taking themselves so seriously…and hopefully highlight some critical issues along the way. Not everyone liked it (it turns out people don’t love being made fun of) but we converted a lot of people and I take pride that the site was truly well read. From the local media, to area police departments, Punching Kitty truly became a source for news and entertainment for St. Louis.

We had a lot of fun, but all good things need an ending and ours was on March 13th, 2013. When we closed up shop the news made local radio, TV, and even the front page of STLToday (The St. Louis Post Dispatch’s website) where we were the top story over a new pope being named. Wild stuff.

While we will no longer actively write, the site will stay up as an archive for St. Louis.

- The Editor

FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU KSDK!

If St. Louisans start to get the feeling that KSDK (NBC affiliate, Channel 5) only serves up national TV just so they can build up confindence that sitcoms and sporting events will air in St. Louis so they can later arbitrarily remove it, pooping all over your TV watching plans to make you hate life we wouldn’t blame you. The last few years KSDK has become infamous for ruining people’s Sunday afternoon or evenings by yanking things like NBC Sports coverage or popular sitcoms in lieu of stupid local programming that they needed to sell ads on to make budget. [Read More]

Guy Shoots Himself While Trying to Stop Car Thieves

‘Twas a cold St. Louis night, when all through this dude’s house not a creature was stirring, not even the homeless guy living in his garage. When out on the lawn there rose such a clatter, dude sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. What’s this? Two guys stealing my brother’s car? He tore open the shutters and grabbed his gun! …and promptly walked on his porch, tripped and shot himself in the leg. [Read More]

Hopeville Homeless Camp Not Gone, Just Somewhere Else Now

Earlier this year we talked about Hopeville, the homeless camp downtown underneath the Tucker Boulevard tunnel until the city kicked them all out in May because it probably smelled a lot like pee and sadness, which is ok when we go to visit Grandma, but not when we walk down Tucker. While Hopeville I is gone, as planned, Hopeville II was created so that there could be another really really sad place named something that sounds really really happy. [Read More]

Sports Agent Harold Lewis Got a Really Good Deal on a House in Lake St. Louis

The big talk out in western St. Charles County for the last few months has been the goings on of this really big ass house that was constructed in Lake St. Louis. Not exactly a lot going on out there apparently. Created by the owner of the now defunct US Fidelis, who made craploads of money by selling extended auto-service contracts before getting panned for shoddy service and are now bankrupt, the 20,752-square-foot mansion was described on the listing thusly… [Read More]

Anheuser-Busch InBev Recalls Bitter Beer…Again

Anheuser-Busch InBev Monkey Unicorn, the long-named local brewery, has had to issue its third beer recall in just over a month. This one because of this little issue of glass shards getting in to a few lots of Stella Artois 10-packs. Luckily this recall, as with the prior two, have been confined to Europe, also known as “Not Here” which means it went to terrorists, which is cool I guess. USA! [Read More]

Infamous Club Lure Tries to Hide as Club Amnesia, Fails

Washington Avenue’s Club Lure has been through a lot lately. Thrust in to the glaring spotlight-esque public gaze like two chicks making out on the dance floor, you know where one of them is really bangin’ and the other is ok…totally wouldn’t say ugly, but next to the other chick…look, she’s clearly the “ugly friend” but standing alone she might be servicable with the right mix of well drinks and shame coursing through your bloodstream. [Read More]

$800,000 of Lotto Winnings Left Unclaimed in South County

3, 11, 24, 26, 29 A “Show Me Cash” (see what they did there?) ticket was sold a Quicktrip on Gravois in South County that won the lucky owner precisely $829,986, but as of this writing, the prize is still unclaimed. What could a South County resident buy with over $800,000 dollars? Um…lets se…here are our top 5 guesses: An $800,000 dollar Best Buy gift card. A $5o Costco membership and then a shit-load of cheese and kleenex. [Read More]

Lambert Airport to Go 100% Smoke Free, Still Plans to Allow Crapiness

His Mayorness, Francis Slay, announced yesterday that Lambert Airport is going 100% smoke free starting on January 2nd, 2011. The move conicides with the earlier removal of major airline hubs, any semblance of security, and decent flights that don’t involve you going the wrong direction for 6 hours to get to a real airport to make your connecting flight. [T]he city will close — and eventually tear down — the five airport smoking lounges on Jan. [Read More]

A Guy Died During a Parking Lot Crash on Hampton

Update: A relative of the deceased (and future fan club member) in the comments, tells us that the family learned today that the man in the accident was shot, which makes this whole thing make a lot more sense. Thats’s the STL we know! Original article: You don’t hear this much. Usually it’s all fender-benders, door dings or pre-teens car jacking old people, rather than fatal, single-car accidents going down in parking lots. [Read More]

Guy Runs From Lambert TSAs, Totally Gets Away With It!

So apparently the best way to get through the security at Lambert Airport without getting scanned or allowing the high-school dropout TSA agent to get to third base is to…wait for it…just run. Somewhere Osama Bin Laden is face-palming right now. The countless hours of research that yielded the “shoe bomb” could have been better spent just buying good non-bomb running shoes and just hold the bomb in front of you and take off in to the airport when confronted. [Read More]