PUNCHING KITTY: 2009 - 2013

Punching Kitty was a writing project for the city of St. Louis to have a little fun and try to get everyone to stop taking themselves so seriously…and hopefully highlight some critical issues along the way. Not everyone liked it (it turns out people don’t love being made fun of) but we converted a lot of people and I take pride that the site was truly well read. From the local media, to area police departments, Punching Kitty truly became a source for news and entertainment for St. Louis.

We had a lot of fun, but all good things need an ending and ours was on March 13th, 2013. When we closed up shop the news made local radio, TV, and even the front page of STLToday (The St. Louis Post Dispatch’s website) where we were the top story over a new pope being named. Wild stuff.

While we will no longer actively write, the site will stay up as an archive for St. Louis.

- The Editor

Score One For Dierbergs: Man Runs Over People in Schnucks Parking Lot

 Posted on April 26, 2011  |  The Editor

A 61-year old man hopped in his car in the parking lot of a Creve Coeur Schnucks and attempted to run over people Saturday morning. In summary, on Josef Achtentuch went bat shit crazy at a Schnucks. Probably to teach the local grocer a much needed lesson about keeping your salad bar up with the competition. Dierbergs’ salad bars are much better. We mean like, way better. Like three different kinds of croutons better. [Read More]
assault  bricks  morons  schnucks 

Tony LaRussa’s Daughter Makes it on 2011 Raiderette Squad

 Posted on April 26, 2011  |  The Editor

Cardinals manager Tony LaRussa’s hot daughter surprised her family by trying out for, and making it on to the 2011 Raiderette cheerleading squad. Sure, there may not be any Raiders games this year, but would you rather read about this and look at pictures of her, or hear more about the rain? Bianca, who goes by “Bianca Tai” on twitter, announced the news last week. “A goal and a dream come true- I’m a 2011 Raiderette! [Read More]
bianca larussa  celebrity  cheerleader  raiders  tony larussa 

Whatever the Opposite of “Breaking News” is: Two St. Louis Radio Guys Your Parents Listen to Are Angry With Each Other

 Posted on April 25, 2011  |  The Editor

KTRS’s (550 AM) McGraw Milhaven and KMOX’s (1120AM) Charlie Brennan both called the Riverfront Times to complain about each other in this month’s edition of “Irrelevant Radio People That Think Anyone Gives a Shit About Their Stupid Arguments Over Who Gets What Guest First.” As usual, lets have Mr. Blockquote fill you in on the details we didn’t actually acquire ourselves. Mr. Blockquote: Ugh do I have too? This story is lame! [Read More]
charlie brennan  kmox  ktrs  mcgraw milhaven 

Ryan Franklin Shaves Beard, Only Finds More Horribleness Underneath

 Posted on April 25, 2011  |  The Editor

Well, you’re chin is the last place we would look for more pitching ability and apparently Ryan Franklin has finally reached that point, shaving of his famous goatee. So that’s how we’re going to play it this year huh Franklin? Times get tough and you lop off trademark-able facial hair? (ahem) We wouldn’t do it. Maybe we were fans of the Oklahoma Sooners (just an example) and whenever they had a bad game would we’d go out an shave the mane off the mascot? [Read More]
baseball  beard  cardinals  celebrity  ryan franklin 

Two of the Worst People Ever Escape From St. Louis Jail

 Posted on April 25, 2011  |  The Editor

In a story so weird, only a giant, airport stomping storm could blow it off the front page, two prisoners escaped from the St. Louis Justice Center. A jail so high-tech that it’s only venerability are movie escape plots. Inmates Vernon Lamont Collins, 34, and David White, 33, apparently broke out a front window and scaled down the front of the building at 200 S. Tucker Boulevard using black bedsheets tied together with rope. [Read More]
escape  jail  morons 

Storms Destroy Lambert Airport, Damage Only Noticeable in Nicer East Terminal

 Posted on April 23, 2011  |  The Editor

Friday evening, strong spring storms rampaged through North St. Louis, crippling Lambert Airport and sealing off the major St. Louis escape route. The brimstone should arrive by this Wednesday to take the rest of us out. “The storm caused significant damage to the airport,” said St. Louis Mayor Francis Slay. There were nine sightings of a possible tornado or tornadoes in St. Louis County. The KSDK camera showed extensive damage to residences and other structures near the airport. [Read More]
airport  lambert  tornado 

Whatcha Spanking There Ryan Dean?

 Posted on April 21, 2011  |  The Editor

Our local NBC affiliate, KSDK channel 5,  managed to make some noise on the national scene, but not the good “wow, what great reporting” kinda noise. More like Jimmy Kimmel laughing at you along with his national audience.

You know how we always say how much we hate all those live, “on the scene”, remotes that add no benefit to the broadcast? This one turned out to be worth it.

ksdk  ryan dean 

Taking a Couple of Days Off

 Posted on April 20, 2011  |  The Editor

Sorry folks, but we have to do a bit of running around for the next couple of days, and as such, new stuff here will be spotty at best. Things should settle back in by next week at the latest. In the meantime, enjoy this old Schweig Engel commercial and marvel at the one guy who appears to be playing a overdosed crackhead, while trying to figure out if that’s Ray Romano or not. [Read More]

Festus Girl Hit in the Head With a Shot Put

 Posted on April 19, 2011  |  The Editor

It’s prom time, and high school girls all over the area are kneeling down only to be smacked in the face with some balls, but for one Festus girl, it wasn’t a euphemism this time: Authorities said the 17-year-old girl threw the shot put and then went to retrieve it. Before she got completely out of the way, the next girl threw her shot. The shot struck the girl on the side of the head. [Read More]
highschool  injury  shot put 

Don’t Worry Folks, the Vindicator Will Save Us

 Posted on April 19, 2011  |  The Editor

A link has been making the rounds recently of a Craigslist ad from a man calling himself the Vindicator, and he claims he is St. Louis’ masked vigilante. Nothing like putting a Craigslist ad out there in the “nonprofit jobs” section to drum up interest in your burgeoning superhero career. We believe this is the same way Batman found Robin…that was back in the day though when grown men could put an ad up that read “Powerful man in tight clothes and cape looking for young athletic boy to help beat off Gotham City’s biggest brutes! [Read More]
superhero  vigilante  weird