PUNCHING KITTY: 2009 - 2013

Punching Kitty was a writing project for the city of St. Louis to have a little fun and try to get everyone to stop taking themselves so seriously…and hopefully highlight some critical issues along the way. Not everyone liked it (it turns out people don’t love being made fun of) but we converted a lot of people and I take pride that the site was truly well read. From the local media, to area police departments, Punching Kitty truly became a source for news and entertainment for St. Louis.

We had a lot of fun, but all good things need an ending and ours was on March 13th, 2013. When we closed up shop the news made local radio, TV, and even the front page of STLToday (The St. Louis Post Dispatch’s website) where we were the top story over a new pope being named. Wild stuff.

While we will no longer actively write, the site will stay up as an archive for St. Louis.

- The Editor

Worse Than Us: Detroit Can’t Read

 Posted on May 9, 2011  |  The Editor

Quick! What’s the word floccinaucinihilipilification mean? …no clue? Don’t feel bad average St. Louisan! The guy reading over your shoulder in the Tigers hat is probably still working on the word “Q-u-i-c-k” According to a new report, 47 percent of Detroiters are ”functionally illiterate.” The alarming new statistics were released by the Detroit Regional Workforce Fund on Wednesday. “Not able to fill out basic forms, for getting a job — those types of basic everyday (things). [Read More]
detroit  education  morons  reading 

Gas is Expensive

 Posted on May 6, 2011  |  The Editor

As of right now, the price of gas is right around $4 a gallon in St. Louis. Area owners of giant trucks or SUVs are currently torn between hatin’ that dang Obama because of the gas prices, but still loving the fact he killed that dang Osama. Poor fellers, that sure is a lot of of “danging” and like-sounding names. The following things are now no longer driving for because they were barely worth it with gas was only $3 a gallon: [Read More]
gas  money 

Chicken Parts Spread Across Highway 40 From Mystery Truck

 Posted on May 5, 2011  |  The Editor

If you noticed your drive down highway 40 through Chesterfield on Tuesday had a new chicken smell overpowering the usual stink of fast food chains and the ever-present fear of a levy breaking. Though, if you drive past Chick-Fil-A, you may not have noticed. Chesterfield Police Lt. Steve Lewis says police are still looking for the truck that dropped a giant load of chicken parts in the eastbound lanes near the Timberlake Manor Parkway exit about 4:30 p. [Read More]
chicken  highway 40  weird 

Gas Station Drunk Beating Officer Ries Cleared of All Charges

 Posted on May 4, 2011  |  The Editor

The off duty police officer featured in the infamous YouTube video recorded on New Year’s Eve and released a few days later was cleared of all charges, while the drunk who got to taste the business end of a nightstick was charged with misdemeanor assault for lunging at the officer’s ankles. The two-minute, 13-second video showed Officer Dustin Ries, 38, pulling a man away from a car, beating him with a police baton and spraying him with pepper spray. [Read More]
beating  Dustin Ries  police 

Moped Drive-Bys Are A Thing Now

 Posted on May 2, 2011  |  The Editor

Times are though, and when you want to kill someone without having to give up your in-aimable Uzi, sacrifices must be made! According to authorities two men performed a drive-by shooting on a red moped. One victim was shot in his side while sitting in his car. He is listed in serious condition. The second victim was shot in the arm while standing on the sidewalk. The suspects fled the scene. [Read More]
green  hats  indians  moped 

We’re Pretty Sure Nate Dogg Robbed a Granite City Cash Store

 Posted on May 2, 2011  |  The Editor

Ok, ok you’re pretty sure Nate Dogg’s dead right? We were too…until…seriously, hang in there with us for a second…we saw this security camera still taken from the Granite City, Illinois Advanced America Cash Advance (Where the second “advance” means advance!) store. …and then remembered this: Ok, so that’s definitely Nate Dogg, who isn’t dead, and/or has now become a zombie. No word on Eazy E’s status as of yet, but he had AIDS…and um…AIDS even takes out zombies we figure, so he might just still be dead. [Read More]
granite city  nate dogg  robbery 

The Important Thing Was She Gave the Pervert the Correct Time

 Posted on April 29, 2011  |  The Editor

When you’re 17 you do some crazy stuff. One summer a few of us guys decided to make a pact to get laid before we went to college, it was a wild time trying to get laid and win the bet. One guy screwed a pie, another guy banged the other dude’s mom and along the way we coined the term MILF that is still a popular parlance today. That may have actually been a movie I saw when we were 17, but still…wild times. [Read More]
nudity  pervert  sextastic  sexual abuse 

In Tall Buildings at The Firebird

 Posted on April 27, 2011  |  The Editor

Last Friday, the 22nd, while the rest of you were cowering in your homes because thunder is scary, our intrepid man about town, The Paparazzo, took in a show at The Firebird. The show featured the Chicago-based band “In Tall Buildings”, but our guy says the whole show was great. You can see the full photo spread on The Paparazzo’s flickr set, and as for the headliners, you can download two free songs (which are both pretty great). [Read More]
concert  music  the firebird 

The Cape Girardeau Airport is Making Lambert Airport Look Like a Badass

 Posted on April 27, 2011  |  The Editor

If you’ll recall, Lambert Airport got wind-raped pretty hard last Friday. After getting its windows blown out and roof ripped off, it was back to full capacity yesterday, a mere 5 days later. The Cape Girardeau Airport has however been closed since Sunday because of puddles. Cape Air has been closed since Sunday. The airport was temporarily shut down because there is a large amount of standing water on the runway. [Read More]
airport  cape girardeau  puddles 

St. Louis Craigslist User Wants You to Help Make Cannabis…Uh…Man I’m Hungry?

 Posted on April 27, 2011  |  The Editor

…oh yeah…help make cannabis legal! Saturday May 7th! …don’t forget to get some Funyuns…maybe we can do some hooka afterwards since we’ll be in the Loop…oh dude, and then Fitz’s for fried pickles! This is a classic “Oh man, lets try to get weed to be legal” move: Post a vague meeting date on Craigslist, make no mention of what you plan to do or accomplish and make the meeting for the hippiest part of town. [Read More]
craigslist  weed  weird