PUNCHING KITTY: 2009 - 2013

Punching Kitty was a writing project for the city of St. Louis to have a little fun and try to get everyone to stop taking themselves so seriously…and hopefully highlight some critical issues along the way. Not everyone liked it (it turns out people don’t love being made fun of) but we converted a lot of people and I take pride that the site was truly well read. From the local media, to area police departments, Punching Kitty truly became a source for news and entertainment for St. Louis.

We had a lot of fun, but all good things need an ending and ours was on March 13th, 2013. When we closed up shop the news made local radio, TV, and even the front page of STLToday (The St. Louis Post Dispatch’s website) where we were the top story over a new pope being named. Wild stuff.

While we will no longer actively write, the site will stay up as an archive for St. Louis.

- The Editor

The Best of St. Louis, Laid Out All Pretty Like

 Posted on May 12, 2011  |  The Editor

We’ve been kinda rough on St. Louis lately, and though we feel it’s some needed tough love, we, like St. Louis itself, like to balance the bad parts with some equally as potent good parts which is why we were delighted to find one of the best “St. Louis City Guides” we’ve seen in a long time. The guide has been posted on Design Sponge Online.com and they included this intro: [Read More]
city guide  Entertainment 

The Missouri State Senators Are Tone Deaf Buttholes

 Posted on May 12, 2011  |  The Editor

St. Louis is in the midst of a bit of a crime issue…by which we mean there are areas that people feel kinda safe dotted throughout areas where no one should ever go ever. The Mayor’s office and the police force only seem able to fill their time complaining about every issue other than actually getting out there and putting a stop to this, while a mass of other politicians and residents like to pretend that everything’s going great while the population of the city continues to dive. [Read More]
conceal and carry  local police control  politics  state senate 

Tony’s Eye Might Be Because of Playing Baseball With Raw Chicken

 Posted on May 11, 2011  |  The Editor

The secret of Tony’s horrible, gross, game-missing eye lies within season two of Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Below is an episode summary with added emphasis: After Master Shake nearly destroys the house by leaving garbage everywhere (especially in Frylock’s room, whose entrance he has bricked closed), burning styofoam [sic], stockpiling chicken carcasses, and planting land mines in the hallway, Frylock becomes disgusted and moves to a condominium. Frylock throws a housewarming party, but none of the people he invites attend. [Read More]
aqua teen hunger force  Health  shingles  tony larussa 

If You Pay For the Zoo, Then Take Some Cheap Parking

 Posted on May 11, 2011  |  The Editor

A proposal has been laid out that would give discounts on things like parking or admission at the city’s major tax-funded attractions to city residents. For instance, the Zoo would offer discounted parking to all city residents…except for those that live close enough to walk, who get nothing we guess. Maybe we can give them a balloon with a zebra on it or something? Gloria Wessels recently suggested that four of the five institutions funded by the zoo-museum district offer discounts on parking, concessions and special exhibits to visitors who live in the taxing district. [Read More]
city  museum  taxes  zoo 

Oh Theriot…That Was Not a Good Idea

 Posted on May 11, 2011  |  The Editor

Ryan Theriot, the solid bench player that was scrappy enough to convince Tony LaRussa to give him a starting job. The facts are, 1. He’s really a pretty piss poor shortstop. 2. His jersey gets dirty. 3. He’s really really bad at talking to the press. Post Dispatch’s Bernie Miklasz describes Theriot’s latest flub: Theriot may be in for some jeering when he returns to St. Louis after joining in on the fun on a Chicago sports-talk show (ESPN 1000). [Read More]
cardinals  cubs  ryan theriot 

A North Side Story

 Posted on May 10, 2011  |  The Editor

There are some that believe, despite all the evidence to the contrary, like the dropping population numbers, the fact we have our own, albeit crappy, superhero, and that St. Louis’s crime issue isn’t as bad as folks like us make it out to be. To those people, we present this, the saddest, craziest story we’ve heard of…so far this week: In short, a group of people gathered in the street for a vigil for their slain family member and friend last week. [Read More]
death  north city  shooting 

Illinois Drunk Drivers Deliver Themselves to the Police Department

 Posted on May 10, 2011  |  The Editor

So you’re a regular run of the mill Illinois woman who looks like a high school boy and gets in a fight with your (taking a shot in the dark here) lesbian partner and you decide that the only people that can settle this dispute are the proper authorities, right? So you and your girl hop in the car and head to the Illinois State Police headquarters, problem solved! …Oh wait…you haven’t been drinking have you? [Read More]
drunk driving  illinois  morons 

Plato, Missouri is the New Population Center

 Posted on May 10, 2011  |  The Editor

The 2010 Census data has been calculated and the government has announced that Plato, MO is the new “population center” of the United States. It sure sounds impressive, but what the hell does “population center” mean? The mean population center represents the point at which a perfectly flat and rigid map of the United States would balance perfectly if all 308.7 million residents weigh the same and are counted where they live. [Read More]
census  population 

Hopeville Residents Get Moved Again…to Apartments!

 Posted on May 9, 2011  |  The Editor

The story of St. Louis’ most prominent homeless camp, Hopeville, never seems to end. They’ve been threatened by the city government, then moved, then threatened with removal once again…and now they’re being moved…again. There’s a pattern here we think, but it’s being covered up by one of those big homeless guy coats that holds in all the stink. St. Louis city leaders say the homeless cannot continue to camp in their makeshift homes along the riverfront. [Read More]
homeless  hopeville 

Stupid Cardinal Player Nicknames: Our Best Chris Berman Imitation

 Posted on May 9, 2011  |  The Editor

  The Cardinals haven’t had a game broadcast by the fat, large-foreheaded, bad-suited ESPN figure-head Chris Berman in a while, and even though Mike Shannon tries his best to ruin the Cardinal radio broadcasts, (He’s like your crazy uncle everyone thinks is cute when he hugs your girlfriend for too long and moans.) Berman ruins the name of your favorite players like no one in the business. In the meantime, we can only pretend by making up long-form nicknames. [Read More]
cardinals  chris berman  espn  nicknames