PUNCHING KITTY: 2009 - 2013

Punching Kitty was a writing project for the city of St. Louis to have a little fun and try to get everyone to stop taking themselves so seriously…and hopefully highlight some critical issues along the way. Not everyone liked it (it turns out people don’t love being made fun of) but we converted a lot of people and I take pride that the site was truly well read. From the local media, to area police departments, Punching Kitty truly became a source for news and entertainment for St. Louis.

We had a lot of fun, but all good things need an ending and ours was on March 13th, 2013. When we closed up shop the news made local radio, TV, and even the front page of STLToday (The St. Louis Post Dispatch’s website) where we were the top story over a new pope being named. Wild stuff.

While we will no longer actively write, the site will stay up as an archive for St. Louis.

- The Editor

City Police Mobilize on a Barrel Full of White Powder

 Posted on May 20, 2011  |  The Editor

A 55-gallon drum was found, rusted and broken open, spilling it’s contents of white powder in to a St. Louis alley in Ward 11. Of course, people were frightened. What was the white powder? Is it anthrax? Have the terrorist gotten lazy and started just throwing partially open barrels out of cars after their big boss is busy floating in the ocean, which has to sting with all the salt water in that head wound. [Read More]
dumping  trash 

Police Sweep Through Cahokia, Arresting Pretty Much Everyone

 Posted on May 20, 2011  |  The Editor

Cahokia, Illinois isn’t just an 6th grade class’ field trip location to learn about indians, it also happens to be completely overrun by criminals. In a shocking move the police finally got together to solve the problem and someone asked “Well, could just go get them at their house?” That’s just crazy enough to work. Dozens of law enforcers swept every home, looking for wanted criminals. “A lot of people scattered, retreated into their homes,” State’s Attorney Brendan Kelly said of the scene when officers rolled in. [Read More]
arrests  cahokia  Crime  police 

Red 7 Club: Anything Goes, but No Means No

 Posted on May 19, 2011  |  The Editor

South City club Red 7 is in deep lately, which apparently is the norm, but what it’s deep in is a little different now. St. Louis Police and Liquor Control officer secretly infiltrated the club during one of the “St. Louis Adult Connection” hosted swinger parties in an effort to verify anonymous tips of lewd behavior at the establishment…or at least that’s their story. Excise Commissioner Robert Kraiberg said that, over two decades as city liquor chief, he has seen a few clubs busted for breaking the city’s “lewd and indecent conduct” ordinance – Girls Gone Wild videotaping, risqué lingerie parties, and the like. [Read More]
club  red7  sextastic  south city  swingers 

Not News: Stupid Cincinnati Radio Show Has Stupid Contest About LaRussa

 Posted on May 19, 2011  |  The Editor

We’re loving all the Cardinals vs Reds stuff over the past year. It has real potential to get good rather than that stupid “We just respect each other too much.” rivalry with the Astros a few years back. The problem is that Tony LaRussa and Walt Jocketty are still buddies and that friendship is really holding this whole thing back. Take this recent business with the Cincinnati radio station doing a contest bit making fun of LaRussa’s on-going spat with shingles. [Read More]
baseball  cardinals  cincinnati  marty brennanman  reds 

Crazy Old Man Arrested for Being a Crazy Old Man With a Gun

 Posted on May 18, 2011  |  The Editor

You know how people always say “I can’t wait to be old so I can get away with everything.” Well, that’s not entirely true. Sure you can get away with butt pinching, driving too slow, telling little kids that they’re ugly to their face, lingering while hugging your gradson’s hot girlfriend, saying racist stuff, and having a visible boner, but, while all those things are awesome, you really can’t get away with everything. [Read More]
Camdenton  gun  old people 

Somebody’s Ghetto Ass Just Won 1.6 Million Dollars

 Posted on May 17, 2011  |  The Editor

A $1.6 Million dollar lottery winning ticket was purchased at…well, we wouldn’t call it horrible, but it’s not good and a little ghetto, Schnucks over in University City off of Olive Boulevard. You know the one. It’s by the ghetto-ish Jack in the Box, across the street from the ghetto-ish Imo’s, next to the fat ladies clothing store and a $1 dollar store. Someone purchased a winning ticket at the Schnucks Market at 6920 Olive Boulevard. [Read More]
ghetto  lottery  schnucks 

Tony Returns to Cardinals Bench

 Posted on May 17, 2011  |  The Editor

In a triumphant return, Popeye Tony LaRussa reclaimed the bench and got the Cardinals back to their winning ways after getting swept by the hated Reds. In fact, much like Popeye, Tony’s brother in squinty-eyed face grimacing, he too suffers from the awesome problem of just being to damn tough! La Russa, after joking before the game that “I’ve been on vacation,” said, “The biggest mistake I made was in not treating the pain. [Read More]
popeye  tony larussa 

It’s Raining Homeless Children in St. Louis

 Posted on May 16, 2011  |  The Editor

A 3-year-old boy bouncing on a fourth-floor bed of a homeless bounced himself right out the window, landing on second floor deck roof and somehow escaped serious harm. Turns out all our mothers were right, you should totally not bounce on the bed. We hate when she’s right! We’re suddenly very aware of the amount of hairs growing on our palms. The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports the boy was bouncing on a bed Wednesday night at the Gateway 180 shelter when he fell through an open window. [Read More]
homeless  injury  kids  morons  shelter 

The Fox Theatre Burns, 2/8ths of the Fabulous Lost in Fire

 Posted on May 16, 2011  |  The Editor

Those a full two alarms less hot than my crazy uncle’s favorite chili, a three-alarm fire made fire trucks rush to the Fox Theatre and forced them to cancel the two Jersey Boys shows scheduled for that night. We assume the Sunday fire was a dry run, but the fire planned on June 21st to finally burn a little off the top of Lyle Lovett will be the real deal as we can’t figure out another reason to invite Lyle Lovett to town. [Read More]
fire  fox theatre  jersey boys  lyle lovett 

Ok, We Get It: St. Louis is a Violent Place to Live

 Posted on May 13, 2011  |  The Editor

In a report by Blythe Bernhard on STLToday.com: Youths in the city are killed by gun violence more often than in any other city except New Orleans, according to federal data released Thursday. …and New Orleans doesn’t really count since it’s like those tennis shoes that got really wet one weekend. Sure you kept them, but you’re not wearing them any more even after they dried out because now they smell funny. [Read More]
murder  violence  youth