PUNCHING KITTY

1. How much do you really like Obama?  I mean do  you really like him…like want him inside of you like him?  I have just the thing for you!  [NSFW]  Via Dan Jaboor  (Send your tips to [email protected]!)

2. Christian Gooden of STLToday.com needs someone to tell him that serial killers like looking at dead animals too.

3. Speaking of Serial Cereal Killers…This is the coolest mural of all time.  Via CityRag

4. Holy crap whoever sent this to the STL section of The Dirty.com went after some dude with both barrels!

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Let me start off with this.  I’ve met Joe Edwards a few times now.  He’s awesome.  He’s done a lot of good for St. Louis and the Loop specifically.  He sells one of the best hamburgers in the world at Blueberry Hill.  …and his website for the Pageant sucks.

I’m not sure when they redesigned this, but I hope it wasn’t long ago because knowing something like this existed in the world for longer than a few days makes me scared and nervous like Sigourney Weaver with the Alien running around her ship.

There are no words.  No.  Words.

Craig Mayhem of Super Fun Patrol is complaining about his glasses, the doctors, and the job they do in general and in the process he’s channeling Chris Rock.  

First of all, anyone who calls themselves a doctor, yet doesn’t fix your medical issue is a LIAR. They give you an appliance that you attach to your body and send you on your way, even though your problem isn’t really fixed.

“Hey doc, I broke my arm.”

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Thats the question that a lot of local schools are asking and others are asking if its kosher to sell the naming rights of a school building like we do stadiums and hospital buildings.  

From The Post Dispatch’s recent article on the subject:

…school districts still worry that they need to lay out guidelines so they’re not caught unprepared for potentially inappropriate naming requests.

Those concerns have, in part, prompted at least seven area school districts to pass or revise policies in the past year that define the limits and specifics of naming rights. 

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Welcome to St. Louis, the nation’s 16th fittest state, as according to “Men’s Fitness” magazine. I just read the article announcing this list and yes, I was proud that my city was listed in the top 25. But you know what my knee jerk reaction was? “Really? That doesn’t seem right!” I mean, come on. We’re the city that gave the world Budweiser… and John Goodman. Our city newscasters count Jeff Bernthal and Rich Gould among their number. Aren’t we supposed to be corn-fed, happy and… FAT? I guess not. I used to walk around Saint Louis, comforted in the fact that I blended in with the apple-cheeked, pillowy Midwestern citizenry. But no longer. I guess it’s time to hit the gym. Damn you all.

The fun never stops over at the St. Louis corner of everyone’s favorite hooker directory, Craigslist.  We start off the week with two interesting Missed Connections.  The common thread?  Fellas demonstrating some interesting techniques with the ladies…

Mekong, 3am, I pushed you off the booth – m4w (Mekong)

I just wanted to say “that I am so sorry”. I didnt mean to push you off the booth last night. I felt like such an ass. I totally deserved it when you punched me in the face. Once again. Sorry. [Source]

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Start off your week with some hot linking action!

There is no Bluebird, only Firebird: STLToday.com’s Blender has the newly released schedule for the re-lauched Firebird venue.

Michael Pinto at Fanboy.com describes a problem we here at PunchingKitty have seen for quite a while: The Invasion of “Social Media Experts”  If we may add some bitching to his great article: You dick (or boobs?) doesn’t get bigger just because you follow every retard that follows you!  Also…stop giving people “tips” on how to Twitter/Facebook/Whatever.  …we feel better already!

This post has an update, see below!

Ryan Huff, a Production Director and Producer for all sports-talk station KFNS (590 AM) was arrested in Arnold and charges were filed that included raping underage girls.

Apparently Huff met the girls on “an internet chatroom,” which could mean anything since I’m guessing the reporter on the KMOV video I watched doesn’t know the difference between this very site and and actual “internet chatroom.”  After the meeting online, the two went to the movies, on a “date,” and then back to a house where they were joined by another 13 year old girl.  Shortly after her arrival they started partaking in sexual activity.  Huff’s alleged Playskool Orgy was noticed only after photos were taken and the girls where showing them around school!

Tonight, 52 lovely contestants will be competing for the crown of “Miss America 2009” and I, for one, cannot wait. The event is broadcast live and I admit it – I don’t watch for the beautiful dresses or the always eloquent Q&A period. No, every year, I find myself holding my breath, half-hoping that one of the girls will fall flat on her face, a la Rachael Smith at the 2007 Miss Universe Pageant. Or in the grand tradition of Chrystle Stewart, who did the exact same thing in 2008. (This is the best we can do for the good old US of A? I’m so proud!) For those that missed it, I have included a clip of the horror below: