PUNCHING KITTY

[Editor’s Note: Update x2 below!]

What was billed as “St. Louis’ Largest Tweetup Ever” fell a bit short on Friday…well, from what we hear, a lot short.

First, the backstory:

Tweetup (noun):

An organized or impromptu gathering of people that use Twitter. (A meet up of people that ‘tweet’ using Twitter.) [via Urban Dictionary]

News had been bubbling through the St. Louis hardcore Twitter crowd about an attempt by two twitters, @Rex7 and @Prebynski, to put together a “record breaking” Tweetup.  Here are a few choice cuts from a pre-interview with @Rex7 about their plans on stlsocialmediareport.com:

Over the holiday, nothing much is happening worthy of talking about, so we thought we would take this time to say thanks for the warm welcome back.  Here’s a sampling from Twitter:

In the most recent issue of ESPN The Magazine (July 13, 2009) they released their annual Ultimate Standings where they grade all NBA, NFL and MLB teams in things like “Stadium Experience,” “Fan Relations,” and “Ownership.”

In the “Bang for the Buck” category, which is “wins over the past year per revenues directly from fans, adjusted for league schedules”, the Rams came in dead last, as in 122 out of 122.  Well done guys.

Brace yourselves.  A group that calls themselves “The Cancer Project” has decided that they haven’t been in the news enough for their liking, so they are declaring that hot dogs cause cancer.

1. Everything causes cancer, and everyone knows it.

2. This is way to generic to be anything but link-bait bullshit.  “Hot Dogs”?  If you want people to believe your lie, try to be a little more specific.  For instance, if you were to tell me that neon green relish they put on Chicago-style hot dogs causes cancer, well thats something I could buy in to, but “hot dogs?”  Its like saying pizza causes cancer.

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Here’s a little cute to get you through the rest of the week…

Dear News Outlets,

Seriously, why is this story still coming up?  It happened.  The dude didn’t die, you say it the one time as a segue from news to sports on the 10 o’clock news and thats it.  No more.  We don’t care.  Even the staff at the hospital, the people that help others for a living know that no one cares:

On Sunday, hospital spokeswoman Valerie Hoven said Hoffman remained in stable condition. She could not comment further on the man’s injuries or when he might be released.

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The Wiggles are going to blow the lid of this one horse town on August 11th at the Chaifetz Arena.  Boosh!

Ok.  Honestly I have no freaking idea who these people are.  After 15 seconds of research, it seems to me that this concert is going to make Chaifez the place next to the parking lot full of mustachioed skinny, middle-aged white guys holding their binoculars with one hand (give it a second…) as they peer out of the window in the back of their van.

Good luck to you buddy!  While others only hang out by the Porta Potties because they drastically miscalculated the amount of beer and fair food they could pack in to their colon, this guy uses that time to find love.  This is a guy that takes advantage of every situation!

Pride talked to you by the porta potties….. – m4m

I talked with you by the Porta potties about if you had been to the Latino Bar by 44. It ended up that you know the guy I was asking about. You said you were with your “Mother” but ended up to be a friend. Tell me what you said you “do” for a living and what yoru best asset on your body was? Pleaes send pic so I konw it was you.

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Now her furlough is over, but for a second there it looked like we were going to be seeing the “[Insert activity here] on my furlough.” for everything she broadcast to Twitter last week.

Seems odd to be broadcasting the fact your company sent you home with no pay for a week.  Looking for a new job Kay?

Lets do it St. Louis!  Grab that fat daughter of yours that you tell has a pretty voice but we all know she doesn’t, put her in cut-off jean shorts so short they look like a thong on her and lets make her a star!  American Idol tryouts are coming back to town on July 7th!

Wait wait wait…no.  Fox2 is just going to exploit their Fox connection to make you think you are auditioning for American Idol.  From the Fox2 site: (emphasis mine)