PUNCHING KITTY

Its October, the MLB playoffs are  here and the Cardinals are back in them since their World Series winner in 2006, but if you are the one Cardinal fan in St. Louis that doesn’t have cable, any friends or know where a bar is, you are out of luck!

Don’t worry though, St. Louis Post Dispatch sport media columnist, Dan Ceasar has your back!

That’s it.

There’s no post.

They f*cking suck.

Alvin Parks ran for and won the titles of Mayor and Liquor Commissioner of that turd of a city, our neighbors to the east that piggy-backs off of our name, East St. Louis.  Throughout the whole process however, Parks never did realize that East St. Louis is, in fact, a pit of booze, drugs, crime and despair.  All of a sudden Parks is “fed up” with the situation in East St. Louis, and he’s going to enact a plan to fix it:  Move up the ole selling liquor cut off.  It is now 1am.

Which Cardinal infielder switched positions and bed mates over the last year or two?

We hear that this player has had lots of fun off the diamond without his wife and apparently isn’t at all shy talking about it.

This same Cardinal also isn’t shy about the amount of time he and 2 of his young-ish Cardinal teammates play in the “snow”.  Maybe all the testing is about ‘roids and not about the party drugs?

Nevermind all the local news stories where the reporter wondered out loud of how the reception for Kanye West would be when he came to town, as if people actually buy tickets to throw tomatoes at the act.  The “Fame Kills” tour has been canceled, and that includes it’s St. Louis date.

Of course West has been in the news lately because of his rude actions toward cute little Taylor Swift at the MTV Video Music Awards.

Well done STLToday.

Hat tip to STLMedia for the good catch!

The name Moriarty used to mean something.  It used to mean a kick ass, genius villain and nemisis of Sherlock Holmes, but in Kansas City Judge Moriarty is trying his damnedest to make that name mean “creepy guy that touches himself at work”

A district court judge appeared to be masturbating and used foul language during a divorce mediation, an attorney claims in Federal Court.

Kimberly Ireland claims that while mediating, Judge Kevin P. Moriarty tried to discuss her underwear and her sex life, though neither was relevant to the divorce matter. And she claims that “Moriarty appeared to be masturbating during the mediation.”

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According to The Riverfront Times [Editor’s Note: Who we are mad at them right now! Boo!] St. Louis’ only Gay/Lesbian/Transgender newspaper is shutting its doors until 2010.

Voice publisher and owner, Pam Schneider, tells Daily RFT that she decided to shutdown the paper for the rest of the year to concentrate on a redesign of the publication.

“It just made sense to take the time and money we need to focus on coming out in 2010 the way we want,” she says.

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So say you are an important guy in some respects and because of that, you have a lot of phone numbers and text messages on your phone.  Now say you get a new phone, which all of us seem to do about once a month these days.  Wouldn’t you make sure to clear out your old phone before getting rid of it?  Of course you would, because you aren’t from 1977, you know what a cell phone is, and you aren’t a moron…or at least a big enough one to think that someone might take a peak in your important by proxy phone!

So here’s the scam: The state of Missouri arrests and jails people.  Sometimes those people leave for whatever “unauthorized” reason, like prisoners that walk away from half-way homes or just those that just straight up escape…and when that happens, the State just takes the money they left in their prison bank accounts.

Is that right?

The Missouri Department of Corrections says “Yes!” but Auditor Susan Montee says “No!”

Call it the $1 million state bonanza, courtesy of escaped prisoners and halfway house walkaways.

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