There once was a man name Stubby Clapp you toiled away in the Cardinals minor league system, only briefly appearing in the majors in 2001. In 25 at-bats Clapp tallied 5 hits, 1 walk, 7 strike outs and 1 RBI giving him a .200 average. Nice. His fame in Memphis playing for the minor league Redbirds though knew no bounds and in fact his #10 is the only one ever to be retired by the team.
PUNCHING KITTY: 2009 - 2013
Punching Kitty was a writing project for the city of St. Louis to have a little fun and try to get everyone to stop taking themselves so seriously…and hopefully highlight some critical issues along the way. Not everyone liked it (it turns out people don’t love being made fun of) but we converted a lot of people and I take pride that the site was truly well read. From the local media, to area police departments, Punching Kitty truly became a source for news and entertainment for St. Louis.
We had a lot of fun, but all good things need an ending and ours was on March 13th, 2013. When we closed up shop the news made local radio, TV, and even the front page of STLToday (The St. Louis Post Dispatch’s website) where we were the top story over a new pope being named. Wild stuff.
While we will no longer actively write, the site will stay up as an archive for St. Louis.
- The Editor
St. Louis Anagrams
We took some famous St. Louis names and ran them through the Internet Anagram Server to find some random letter mixed-up awesomeness. Here’s what we got:
Vandeventer … “Darn Even Vet”
Mark McGwire … “Rim Wreck Mag” [Editor’s Note: Sounds as sexy as it does gross.]
Hampton … “Moth Nap”
Busch Stadium … “Basic Mud Huts” [Editor’s Note: Is this a hidden critique of the Ballpark Village plans?]
The Post Dispatch … “Spot Patched Shit” [Editor’s Note: Wow.]
[Read More]You Won’t Miss Rick Ankiel, He’ll Be Back Every June as a Royal
Rick Ankiel has come to an agreement to play with cross-state pseudo-baseball team the Royals. Soon Royals fall in love with Rick’s ability to hit the occasional beautiful home run and the breeze in center field he provides on most at-bats for those steamy summer night games.
Ankiel with make $3.25 million next year because he wasn’t very good last year and didn’t play that much.
[Read More]Fox 2 Sends Reporter to Haiti, Probably Can’t Pay to Bring Them Back
According to the St. Louis Business Journal, Fox 2 has decided to send a report to Haiti…because apparently there isn’t a single stock photo or video of Haiti around anywhere! Sadly, its not Rich Gould.
Fox 2 News’ Roche Madden and cameraman John McClelland have hopped aboard a U.S. Air Force cargo plane at Scott Air Force base headed to Haiti. Madden will be the only St. Louis television reporter reporting from Haiti.
[Read More]
270 Sucks and Everyone Knows It
270 ranked 45th in the nation’s worst commutes according to The Daily Beast. Totaling 89 hours of congestion, and 1.26 miles long at its worst, earned 270 the spot.
On a comment attached to our snippet, they have a quote via the Post Dispatch from Maryland Heights Councilwoman Mary Nichols:
Replacement of the current design with the diverging diamond interchange will not only improve the flow of traffic along the 270-70 corridor, but it will also be a national example of innovation in highway safety and design.
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Slut.
St. Louis’ first elephant family is pregnant again.
As the Post Dispatch reported:
The St. Louis Zoo is expecting a 300-pound bundle of joy next summer. Asian elephant Rani is almost five months into her 22-month pregnancy. Raja, the first elephant ever born at the St. Louis Zoo, is the father.
Rani is eating her regular diet of grain and hay and has stepped up her exercise routine, said Martha Fischer, the zoo’s mammal curator. She will gain some 500 pounds during her pregnancy.
[Read More]
Kurt Warner Gets Rocked, Should Remember Where He is Friday, then Promptly Retire
I don’t care if you don’t like football. If you missed Kurt Warner getting rocked on Saturday in his playoff loss to the Saints, then you missed one of the year’s biggest hits.
Let’s see…do I have video of this…oh! I sure do. Bam:
After being awaken from that blow Warner he apparently thought he was a spy for the Saints in the third quarter and then after being taken out in the fourth he briefly thought he was Ming Li, a Vietimese prostitute. It sounds weird, but I heard he really helped the team lift…ahem…their spirits after the tough loss.
[Read More]Blind Item: A Comeback and a Dust-off?
What former high-flying star of St. Louis wants a local comeback as bad as he wanted out of a small local media ownership group?
We hear that he recently made the choice to do what he has never been known to do, drop his long-time holdings in the company after their recent, and what many think is an ill-advised, acquisition.
Now that its all off his hands he just needs another ownership group to take his calls.
[Read More]Lake St. Louis Creates Way for Bored Housewives to Get Rid of Latino Couple Down the Street
In America we like things nice and easy. We like our cheese pressurized, our lights clappable, and we want a really easy way to report any person we might think is an illegal immigrant on a whim.
Thank the City Council of Lake St. Louis, Missouri who’s roster is not to be confused with Senator McCarthy’s pose back in the day, (but we will excuse you if you did) for taking the step to make a system to identify and report illegal immigrants easier. You know, so you can do it without having to get off your pontoon boat.
[Read More]Pujols is Proud of McGwire For Coming Out?!
Over the last weekend the national media descended on St. Louis for a chance to talk steroids with Tony LaRussa, Albert Pujols and of course Slightly-Less-Big Mac.
Pujols had some really nice supportive things to say about McGwire to the press, but we can’t shake this feeling that Pujols is a little confused about what Mark confessed too exactly…
Maybe not though. McGwire did seem pretty happy dancing with those “Single Ladies” in that video.
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