PUNCHING KITTY

Ladue is the Hollywood Hills of St. Louis. They think they’re so great, with their smoking jackets, botox and makeout parties.  Crowding West County Mall with their fancy sweat suits dropping their “troubled” kid off at the Hot Topic while the rest of them go to the GAP or stand around outside of a JBucks somewhere, collars popped, looking like a living Dockers ad. It’s like their life is so great they don’t even care that their mexican gardner is taking a leak in their pool.  It’s about time someone is finally mocked them as they should have been all along!

Already scraped from the website, Jill Devine, already a veteran of the St. Louis radio wars, is out at ClearChannel’s 93.7 the Bull. Devine has been at the Bull since leaving Bonneville’s 101.1 Movin, which soon after turned to 101 ESPN.  Devine pitched in on the Bull’s morning show and then moved to mid-days and then back to mornings.

No details as of yet, but it’s not much of a guess to postulate that ClearChannel is continuing to hemorrhage money like most other radio outlets. Their newest station, 100.3 The Sound has, thus far, only hired one jock for the station and we hear he isn’t even located in the St. Louis area, but actually records his work out of town to be played in the St. Louis market.

Award winning actress Glenn Close was in town on Saturday to throw out the first pitch at the Mets v Cardinals tilt. Close was in town to raise funds and awareness about not making fun of crazy people I.

Word has leaked, with the help of Republican Ed Martin that Missouri Representative Russ Carnahan skirts the property taxes on his 42 foot yacht by parking it across the river in Alton, Illinois. A state that has no property tax.

As Americans prepare to file and pay their taxes, it’s come to light that Rep. Russ Carnahan may be skimping on his. The Congressman avoids paying personal property taxes on his 42-foot yacht by docking it in Alton, Illinois instead of his hometown.

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Total Game Time: 6 hours 53 minutes

Players Used: 46

At Bats: 158

Pitches: 652

Walks: 19

Strikes Outs: 35

Retarded Tony LaRussa Moves: At least 3.

The players found it exciting, the fans found it boring and Tony LaRussa found those pot brownies the Brendan Ryan was saving until after the game.

“That’s the fist time I’ve been part of something like that,” said first baseman Albert Pujols. “That was pretty special right there.”

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Lets be clear. We don’t want to mislead anyone. This is the best “chick” fight we’ve seen in a while. “Chick” fights consists of 2+ attractive girls that probably really aren’t fighting as much as they are just wrestling to get people’s attention. They do this because it works. Chick Fights are awesome.

This video below (use headphones) is a “crazy bitch” fight.  One of the combatants is tall and lanky, the other is short and fat with pink hair that gets ripped off and both are really really pissed off. Also a gun is involved for a short time and then they go back to ripping each others shirts off, which would have been cool, had this been a “chick” fight.

Two Columbia, MO garbage men decided throwing away one shipment of expired beer was hard enough, and they just couldn’t bring themselves to do it again.

A Columbia distributor, Scheppers Distributing Co., sent 1,500 cases of expired beer to the landfill on April 1 in two shipments. The first shipment was destroyed immediately, but the second, containing about 700 cases of Budweiser and Michelob Ultra, was not.

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This story is either a great reason to keep old people off the road or that snow cones are too damn delicious to have so close to high-traffic roads on nice days like these.

Yesterday evening, someone just full-on slammed their car in to the Cup-O-Sno shack in Maplewood. Grandma really wedged her Cadillac car in there good because it took a set of firefighters, an EMS crew, an Ameren UE contingent and the Jaws of Life to get her out of the car, which is a lot since usually it only takes the firefighters and the Ameren UE team to get her out of every other chair she sits down in.

Stan Kroenke shocked everyone by jumping in at the last second to make a play for 100% ownership of the St. Louis Rams. That’s fine and all, but the Rams had a buyer already. Their’s way better stuff for Kroenke to drop his cash on…

10. Arby’s. Who doesn’t love Arby’s?

11. A soccer team.

12. 4,000 pairs of white socks. Never buy socks again.

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43 year old St. Peters resident Mike Stigall has won the lottery twice at $55,000 a pop.

According to lottery officials, Stigall purchased a Show Me Cash ticket at Cosmic Liquor, 421 S. Church St. in St. Peters, for the April 11 drawing. The ticket matched all five numbers to win the $55,000 jackpot.

Now sure, we aren’t talking the mega-millions here, but twice?! This guy wins twice? This guy has actually won money on a scratcher ticket…twice. Sure he spent $200 grand on a stack of scratchers a day for 10 years, but that’s not the point dammit. The point is you’re working your ass off at the box factor and Stigall over here swings in to Cosmic Liquor and scopes up some pink Maddog 20/20 and 55 grand.  Also, I hear your significant other is cheating on you…and we could see your underwear all day at work. No one knew how to tell you, but it was totally obvious. Even that foreign guy was laughing at you about it and that guy smells like the alley that the bums pee in.