PUNCHING KITTY: 2009 - 2013

Punching Kitty was a writing project for the city of St. Louis to have a little fun and try to get everyone to stop taking themselves so seriously…and hopefully highlight some critical issues along the way. Not everyone liked it (it turns out people don’t love being made fun of) but we converted a lot of people and I take pride that the site was truly well read. From the local media, to area police departments, Punching Kitty truly became a source for news and entertainment for St. Louis.

We had a lot of fun, but all good things need an ending and ours was on March 13th, 2013. When we closed up shop the news made local radio, TV, and even the front page of STLToday (The St. Louis Post Dispatch’s website) where we were the top story over a new pope being named. Wild stuff.

While we will no longer actively write, the site will stay up as an archive for St. Louis.

- The Editor

Lacy Clay and Russ Carnahan Hate the Internet

Missouri Representatives Lacy Clay (D) and Russ Carnahan (D) hate the internet…or at least the old white guy with his hand up their asses is making them say that.

A slew of House Democrats have sent a letter to the Federal Communications Commission warning the agency not to go forward with its plan to partially reclassify ISPs as common carriers, a move needed to impose net neutrality rules.

“The uncertainty this proposal creates will jeopardize jobs and deter needed investment for years to come,” wrote Texas Congressman Gene Green on Monday. “The significant regulatory impact of reclassifying broadband service is not something that should be taken lightly and should not be done without additional direction from Congress.”

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You Can’t Even Eat Your Chinese Take Out Without Getting Shot in St. Louis…twice.

Dude goes to pick up his chinese take out in Washington Park and as he was leaving the place couple of guys rolled up and shot him twice. Probably turned the gun sideways first too…does that matter? It looks cooler for sure though. Probably worth whatever downgrade in aim that comes along with it.

Washington Park Police Chief David Clark said that at 10:03 p.m. Tuesday, the victim was coming out of the China House Restaurant on Kingshighway when two men approached him.  Scarves hiding their faces, the two opened fire on the victim, hitting him twice.

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Pujols’ Agent Quits Firm

Pujols’ agent, Dan Lozano, pulled a Jerry McGuire Tuesday, leaving his prominent sports agency and taking with him his list of big time clients.

“Danny Lozano has left Beverly Hills Sports Council, and we wish him well in his future endeavors,” said agent Jeff Borris.

Lozano’s departure is likely to have major ramifications within the industry. Pujols, an eight-time All-Star and three-time Most Valuable Player with the St. Louis Cardinals, is closing in on free agency, and is expected to sign an enormous contract in the aftermath of big recent deals for Minnesota catcher Joe Mauer, Philadelphia first baseman Ryan Howard and others.

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Post Dispatch Moves Around People’s Jobs on “Pretend Any of This Matters” Day.

According to both the Riverfront Times and the Post-Dispatch, our local dead-tree news source is moving some people around slightly in their jobs. Initial speculation is that the Post Dispatch celebrated the internal holiday of “Pretend Any of This Matters” Day…or just needed to fill a little space on page 14 between the first ad and the other four.

Most noticeable among those is the switch at City Hall where education reporter David Hunn will step in forJake Wagman who’s covered St. Louis politics for much of the past decade.

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Rib America Festival Plans To, In Worst Case, Prop Up Bret Michaels This Weekend

Dude! You gotta come to this show brophef! It’s got “Big Head Todd & The Monsters”, “Jackyl”, ‘L.A. Guns”, “Bret Michaels”, “Everclear”, “Collective Soul”, “Foghat” and “Blue Oyster Cult”! Gonna be epic!

You know Rib America Festival, it does sound bitchin’, but I’m not sure I can. My friend recorded this new show called “Friends” and I wanna check it out while I eat my sun-dried tomato pizza and wear this vest over my t-shirt.

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Top 5 Name Suggestions For that Dumb Owl

The other day an endangered owl who clearly didn’t realize it was endangered, did it’s best Rams offensive linemen impression and got its owl face smashed in by a fire truck in Wentzville, MO.  The firemen said “Screw that. We’re not stopping. Owl wasn’t even on fire.” but when it got to where it was going, it realized the bird was stuck to their truck and then pretty much had to do something about it so it got a shovel and flicked it on the steps of a bird sanctuary. Maybe it didn’t happen exactly like that, but pretty close.

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St. Louis Apparently Big in Chess Scene So We Pick Who Should Play the Pieces.

So apparently St. Louis is a chess hot-bed. Who knew? Apparently its such an awesome chess scene that this crap happened…

A few weeks ago, [Hikaru Nakamura, the reigning national chess champion] made news simply by relocating. The 22-year-old announced he was moving from Seattle to St. Louis to be a part of the burgeoning chess scene and to be a spokesman for the swanky Chess Club and Scholastic Center of St. Louis.

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Stupid Parents Are Apparently Also Deep Sleepers

Saturday night, the parents of a “4.0 average” daughter living in East Carondelet, Illinois went to bed with their graduation party of 20 kids still going. They woke up after 2am with about 100 kids scattering as police were trying to get a handle on the situation while trying to dodge the drunken driving of one party goer.

Disappointment is what James Hasty and his wife were feeling Sunday after hosting a graduation party for their high school Senior Saturday night. “Straight-A” student, 4.0 grade point average,” Hasty says describing his 18 year old daughter.

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Lost Finally Ends and KDNL Gives Us…The Simpsons?!

The show many, including all of us at Punching Kitty headquarters, have been dissecting and mulling over for six awesome years finally came to a close Sunday night in a tense and dare we say, tear educing ending. Then, just as the show faded to black with that familiar Lost white lettering, while you were just taking that deep breath and turning to the person next to you on the couch to talk about it St. Louis Lost fans heard a familiar but out-of-place theme song ramp up: The Simpsons.

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