PUNCHING KITTY: 2009 - 2013

Punching Kitty was a writing project for the city of St. Louis to have a little fun and try to get everyone to stop taking themselves so seriously…and hopefully highlight some critical issues along the way. Not everyone liked it (it turns out people don’t love being made fun of) but we converted a lot of people and I take pride that the site was truly well read. From the local media, to area police departments, Punching Kitty truly became a source for news and entertainment for St. Louis.

We had a lot of fun, but all good things need an ending and ours was on March 13th, 2013. When we closed up shop the news made local radio, TV, and even the front page of STLToday (The St. Louis Post Dispatch’s website) where we were the top story over a new pope being named. Wild stuff.

While we will no longer actively write, the site will stay up as an archive for St. Louis.

- The Editor

Family Week Looks Like the Worst Place to Take a Kid Ever

Family Week is almost here! August 7th – 14th, get those kids out of the house and…um…do…well…hmm. Frankly this looks pretty depressing. We don’t have much of a clue what the hell the point of this is, but from the looks of it, there’s no way we would recommend you take a kid anywhere near this. Sure you got the Arch there, and the dates, and then the meta information about the dates showing the names of the days included…just in case you don’t have access to a calendar and are so dumb you can’t figure out the order of the days of the week, but the top of the flyer really tells the bulk of the story with some of the most bizarre pairing of photos and stock photos: [Read More]

Elsewhere: Guy Plans to Eat His Disobedient Cat

[Editor’s Note: This news item took place in Buffalo, but its too weird and too namesake-related to pass up.] It’s always the “routine traffic stop” that manages to catch the sickos and one of those little moving violation miracles happened again in Buffalo, NY recently when the meows of a cat from a guy’s truck alerted the authorities to the fact that this guy was planning on eating his cat. [Read More]

Nelly Shooting Music Video in Local Gym? (Updated: No. Fitness Video)

Spotted by our tipmeister, a tweet by Khris Stillman (@khrisstillman) says he walked in to his local gym to get a work out in to find the suddenly busy native St. Louis rapper, Nelly shooting a video. A music video? Probably, but details are thin. All we have is Stillman’s cellphone photo (below)… UPDATE…and the fact that Nelly tweeted about it. He’s shooting a fitness video: My Fitness DVD coming soon! [Read More]

KSDK Exposes Minor’s Name in the Parkway Central Facebook Drama

KSDK made one hell of a production effort for one of their lovely little in-house stand-ups during a recent local news broadcast about the recent might-have-happened-but-who-knows school “shooting” incident involving Parkway Central at the little moron’s Facebook page. They even went to the trouble of bringing up that very Facebook profile in question, blowing it up on the large video monitor beside the reporter.

One thing though: He’s an uncharged minor. You aren’t supposed to be blasting his name everywhere!

It’s cool though, they thought about that little fact…about 5 seconds too late.

Reporter: [Points to screen left of camera] Now this is the profile page in question.

[Camera pans to screen showing full view of profile, including name and photo]

Reporter: …actually, lets come back to that because…uh…come back to me.

[Camera returns to reporter]

Reporter: We are going to protect this student’s name…uh…because he has not been charged.

Thanks KSDK. That’s probably all the “protecting” the kid can take today.

We aren’t sure of the ramifications for their quick legal blunder, but even it amounts to nothing, this is still pretty bad. We also still can’t figure out why they would put the profile up on the big screen if they knew they shouldn’t be showing it. In our mind, everything was cool until the minute they showed that boy’s name and some old guy in the back that’s worked there for years and hasn’t talked in months yelled out “You can’t do that! It’s agains the law!” Old guys always know the law better than anyone. Probably why the always vote and read the news and stuff. We don’t have time for that crap because of all the loud music we listen to while we horseplay.

What?! Transcripts are good enough you say? Good thing our eagle-eyed tip-daddy managed to grab a little video evidence of the “minor” mistake (Click through the jump to see the video)

[Read More]

Nelly Takes DJ Job, Also Must Have Invented Time Machine

Starting Wednesday, the native son of St. Louis and rapper, will be the drive-time DJ on Hot 104.1 for anywhere from 10 to 16 weeks. In a related, but up until now completely unreported, story Nelly has also invented a time machine. Probably. He must have. Why else would he think being a DJ is still cool?! We talked to a scientist about this bizarre move and amazing technological discovery. [Read More]

Facebook: Foiling Morons’ School Shooting Plans Since 2010

Remember that movie Minority Report where the police have psychics that can see the future and stop people from doing stuff before they do it? The future is now. Thank you Facebook. 10:18am “Thinking about stabbing this guy in front of me with my fork.” 1:32pm “Cleaning out my fridge! Can’t fit a cut up full-size woman in here will all this left over Chinese food! LOL” 3:45pm “School’s almost out! [Read More]

Who’s a Little Bitch Now Asshole?: 7 Notes for the Brandon Phillips Hangover

Here’s a few quick notes in the aftermath of Brandon Phillips’ testicles finally dropping. Turns out they were behind his vagina.

1. If Phillips’ balls finally made an appearance, they went right back up inside after Yadier Molina got in his face.

2. Brandon Phillips drives the douchiest car imaginable. Naturally.

Not more than a few days ago, Yahoo! Sports dropped this little nugget about how the now famous Brandon Phillips: He drives a big purple expensive douche-mobile!

3. There is reason to cheer for Phillips.

[Read More]

Mugshots: Our Very Own Snookie!

We know St. Louis doesn’t come up with all the new fads ourselves, but we still get some joy when we somehow manage to create our own little version of that fad. We have our own Snookie from Jersey Shore! Check out this mug shot! She’s got the look…check! Weird name? Well she’s less than 100 years old and her name is Agnes…check! But does she “party”? You bet! KMOV’s description reads: [Read More]

The Cardinals’ Skip Schumaker Gets No Respect

Lets hope Cardinals’ second baseman (kinda) Skip Schumaker follows the whole “glass is half full” metaphor for life because yesterday was a doozy. Skip’s day started out with being labeled as one of the 10 worst everyday players in Major League Baseball on sport writer Joe Posnanski’s personal blog. Under the heading of “Nominees” for the league’s Least Valuable Player, Skip cracked the bottom 10 along with other notable names: Carlos Lee (Astros), Derrek Lee (Cubs), Jason Kendall (Royals) and Miguel Tejada (Padres). [Read More]

Brandon Phillips Calls Cardinals Little Bitches

Cincinnati Reds’ Second Baseman Brandon Phillips got a little nicked up playing the Cubs recently, but when asked if he would ok for the big Cardinals series Phillips had this to say (according to daytondailynews.com): “I’d play against these guys with one leg. We have to beat these guys. I hate the Cardinals. All they do is bitch and moan about everything, all of them, they’re little bitches, all of ‘em. [Read More]