Since there’s no way we were sleeping last night, we scoured the web for stuff to read about the latest Cardinals dramatic comeback. Nothing was better than the Twitter stream of one Washington Nationals writer (@washingnats) who went (bottom to top) from crazy confident to “Thats messed up.” in the span of a few tweets.

Here’s our mediocre attempt at Photoshoping his Twitter stream in a fun Facebook-sharable image:

Holy crap. What?! Um…how do we describe what just happend? Ok, here’s our best shot…

DJDHADKFDS!!!!KDSFASDFDS!!!??SDKFASDF;ADSMCMAEJEHEIE.S,AALALDLDLD!!!!!!!!!

Not bad.

Here’s a better description from ESPN:

Erasing an early six-run hole in Game 5 slowly but surely, the defending World Series champion Cardinals got a tying two-out, two-run single from Daniel Descalso and a go-ahead two-run single from Pete Kozma in the ninth inning and came all the way back to beat the Washington Nationals 9-7 on Friday night and win their NL Division Series.

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In their journey to visit each of the 32 NFL teams this season, the guys at Tailgate32 stopped by St. Louis to get a tour of our town, meet Fox2’s John Pertzborn*, visit The Hill, and eat a Crown Candy BLT.

Point your lookin’ balls at it here:

• File photo of Pertzborn:

via Tailgate32 and ESPN

The Cardinals have the chance to kick the upstart Nationals out of the playoff today (It’s at 3pm. You don’t have a job by chance do you? Eh. That sucks.) and that’s awesome because…um, that’s the team we root for, but also because phenom Bryce Harper could stand to get a little more of the douche kicked out of him.

There are some things we like about Bryce Harper, but that’s a boring list, so here’s the top 5 reasons why Bryce Harper is a douche…and ok, here’s one thing: We dig the smeared eye black.

Unlike our now beloved 3 – 2 Rams, Kansas City is having a hard time with their football team, the Chiefs. They aren’t good, and the fans think it would be better if the team ditched their current starting quarterback, Matt Cassel, in favor of the backup, Brady Quinn, so when the Chiefs game started Sunday and everyone saw Cassel out there against the heavy favorited Ravens, they weren’t pleased. Outside of a win (not gonna happen) we wonder what could cheer a stadium full of hate-filled Chiefs fans up?

First off, well done Cardinals on making it past the Wild Card game and in to the NLDS! This new Wild Card game sure is fun! We hear it’s super popular in Atlanta right now. (Kidding. Even with the Cardinals winning, this game is stupid.)

For some reason we think it’s important to leave this link here to the definition of the infield fly rule. It’s really not that hard to understand.

What is going on here with Cardinals starting pitching prospect Shelby Miller’s Saturday evening tweet? Is it a riddle? Is he really asking whatever he’s trying to ask? Is he trying to say ‘iPhone’? Is little Timmy in trouble by the old mill?!

via @ShelbyMiller19

The Cardinals had quite a roller-coaster of a weekend, but that’s even more true for Cardinal closer Jason Motte who blew the save Saturday night, but then closed out the win on Sunday evening. You didn’t even have to watch the games to know that, you could have just watched Twitter!

Here’s the crazies going off on Motte on Saturday night:

Much of the St. Louis area had their TVs tuned to the Mizzou game Saturday night, and if that describes your TV, you missed this on the Fox Sports Midwest broadcast of the Cardinals game:

No,  Jim Hayes’ rug isn’t all that interesting, but the guy just to the left of his rug, making the universal “rug munching” sign is pretty funny.

…and the “Missouri Lottery Cardinals Live” is up next! Be sure to call in your suggestion to trade Skip Schumaker to the Yankees for everyone they have that’s good, because it totally sounds plausible.

The Rams are probably going to suck, but who cares about analysis?! What does Katie Kearney, the current Miss Missouri, think?

We bet she’s gonna be brutal on them dude! She’s totally going to destroy their week linebacker core and pick apart the shaky Quarterback play! Oh man, she’s going to be all over them and definitely won’t just be some stereotypical overly optimistic beauty queen to the point where you’ll wonder: “Why the hell did anyone bother to ask her, let alone print it in a newspaper?”