Stripper Accused of Being Bad Parent, Replies With Only “I Know. I’m a Stripper”

 Posted on March 4, 2010  |  The Editor

What is the world coming to when we can’t even trust ladies that take their clothes off and grind their snizz against diseased brass polls and diseased old dude’s faces in the worst city in America for a stack of dollar bills that looks like a lot to them but adds up to $23 dollars if you know math to be a good mother’s to their children?! A Metro East mother is accused of leaving her 3-year-old daughter to wander a hotel alone while she went to work at a strip club. [Read More]
morons  parenting  stripper 

Unfunny Racial Joke Ruffles Feathers at Mizzou

 Posted on March 3, 2010  |  The Editor

The Globe Democrat is reporting on a “prank” that is giving everyone fits at Mizzou: University of Missouri Columbia students spoke out at a Town Hall meeting Monday night after an incident at the Black Culture Center early Friday morning where someone left cotton balls on the ground in front of the building. Oh I get it. Because all the black kids that go to Mizzou were slaves not long ago and picked cotton! [Read More]
bad jokes.  cotton balls  morons  racism 

Holy Crap, the Internet Might Have Found “Chris”!

 Posted on February 24, 2010  |  The Editor

Remember way back to yesterday? About those bitches who were talking about cheating on their boyfriend and then that awesome dude got them back like a super badass? Go check it out. We’ll wait. Have you ever seen a dog happier than this? Oh, your back. Lets continue. Well we have an update to that story, once again, courtesy of Reddit. Hey, How’s it going? I wanted to thank you for your craigslist post. [Read More]
reddit  relationships  skanks 

St. Louis Salon Owner Suing Hollywood Studio, and Her Lawyer Pretty Clearly Hates Her

 Posted on February 23, 2010  |  The Editor

Remember forever ago when a script for those sissy vampire movies “New Moon” and whatever the next one is was found in a Loop dumpster behind some salon? Well, that happened. Trust me. The next part is that the salon owner found it and did the nice thing by giving it back to the studio. The studio was so happy it gave her tickets to both movie premieres, and the salon owner was so greatful that she went to one that then decided to sell the other ticket on e-bay. [Read More]
casey ray  hollywood  movies  new moon  script 

Sunset Hills is a Retard Factory

 Posted on February 19, 2010  |  The Editor

What the hell is going on in Sunset Hills? Apparently the following things have happened there: Someone honked and someone else in the street. “They didn’t see me coming, I honked my horn once for safety measures,” she said. “There was a UPS truck was coming up the street at the same time.” Wymer, a neo-natal nurse at Cardinal Glennon Hospital, said she was concerned about the daughter in the stroller. [Read More]
honking  mayor  sunset hills 

This Week in Duh: Living in St. Louis City is Unhealthy

 Posted on February 19, 2010  |  The Editor

Guess what?! Another study came out saying that living in St. Louis city proper is a death wish! Residents of St. Charles County have the best opportunities in Missouri to be healthy, while people who live in St. Louis city have the worst, according to a new report. To compile the report, researchers looked at data from the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the Environmental Protection Agency, the FBI, the U. [Read More]
Health  st charles  st. louis city 

Obama to Visit St. Louis

 Posted on February 17, 2010  |  The Editor

President Obama will be making a trip to St. Louis next week to attend a fundraiser for fellow Democrat and Missouri Senator Claire McCaskill. But we here at Punching Kitty are sure he will make time for a quick drive down Barack Obama Blvd to have a slice of Pi Pizza. In a completely unrelated story, outspoken conservative mouth-piece and general easy-going #1 fan of Punching Kitty.com [Editor’s Note: *cough*] Dana Loesch recently won a week-long all-expenses paid trip to “anywhere but here” by a little known company named Flowers By Irene. [Read More]
dana loesch  kidnapping jokes  obama  president 

Kid Shoots Himself in the Ass with Shotgun

 Posted on February 16, 2010  |  The Editor

On Saturday, a 11-year old boy was visiting someone when he wandered across a loaded shotgun. You know how this goes…he started playing with it and some how managed to shoot himself in the butt. He is in critical but stable condition. From the Globe Democrat: Authorities said the gun belonged to a 52-year old man who lives at the home on Dick Gregory Place. So far no charges have been filed against the owner of the gun. [Read More]
children  gun  kid  shooting  shotgun 

Do Not Smoke the Fake Pot! Something is Wrong With the Fake Pot!

 Posted on February 11, 2010  |  The Editor

The Globe-Democrat has a message for all you little rich kids that have plenty of money but not enough to buy yourself big enough rocks to buy actual pot: A local doctor says young adults who smoke K2 or “fake weed” to achieve a similar high as received from smoking marijuana, may suffer serious reactions instead. K2 is a dried herb legally sold in at least four shops in the St. [Read More]
drugs  k2  pot  weed 

Bomb Scare at the Buffalo Wild Wings

 Posted on February 9, 2010  |  The Editor

The Buffalo Wild Wings near Mid Rivers Mall in St. Peters was evacuated today after a bag with a “suspicious” device inside was found. St. Peters police and fire and the St. Charles County Bomb Squad were called to the restaurant at I-70 and Mid Rivers Mall about the suspicious bag around 10:00 a.m. inside the business. All of the employees had to evacuate the building until the bag was removed. [Read More]
bomb  buffalo wild wings  morons  st. peters  the exact opposite of a bomb