St. Louis Dudes Have the 10th Biggest Wangs in America

 Posted on March 26, 2010  |  The Editor

That’s right! 10th! …and the best part is, this is finally a good list to be on! Now if you’ll excuse us… Hey Boston, where you at? Oh 15. That’s cute I guess…glad you barely made the list…it’s probably a “nice” size which we both know means its small. Kansas City! Looking good out there not even ranking in the top 15, its cool though, we hear fat chicks will take just about anything. [Read More]
condoms  list  penis  rank  size  weird 

Oldest Living Missourian Dies, Tells Everyone Bogus Tips on How to Live as Long as Her

 Posted on March 25, 2010  |  The Editor

Missouri’s oldest resident has finally kicked the bucket. 112 year old Florence Poe, died on Tuesday from complications of a stroke she had experienced a few days prior. Born on August 24th, 1897, Florence lived on her own until her 90’s when she moved in with her daughter and then later at the Ratliff Care Center. Michael Ratliff, the center’s administrator, said Poe remained active in her last months. He once asked her the secret to a long life. [Read More]
Health  old  woman 

Top Twenty Isn’t Bad: St. Louis Metro Ranked 18th in Population

 Posted on March 24, 2010  |  The Editor

In the last pseudo-official yearly tally before we get the numbers from the 2010 census form you are filling out as we speak, St. Louis clocked as the 18th most populated metro area. Just above Tampa, FL and just below San Diego, CA…two cities that we would rather be than here. We thought this would be a good time to celebrate other 18’s like… The 18th President, Ulysses S. Grant [Read More]
18  cities  list 

Two Brothers Get Heart Attacks at the Same Time

 Posted on March 23, 2010  |  The Editor

Two Poplar Bluff brothers went in to cardiac arrest at virtually the exact same time right next to one another. When Crocket Lacy went into cardiac arrest, he was lucky his brother, Ronnie, was there. Then Ronnie had his own heart attack. Both men were taken to a Poplar Bluff hospital emergency room, where both of their hearts stopped virtually simultaneously. Both were saved, but doctors are still amazed at the coincidence of two brothers going “code blue” at the same time. [Read More]
brothers  Health  heart attack 

The Timberland Highschool School Board Sucks Ass

 Posted on March 19, 2010  |  The Editor

Hey kids of Timberland High School, you remember this: You mess with the bull, you get the horns. The staff of the school newspaper and free speech honks that live for things like this filed in to a Wentzville School Board meeting Thursday night to hear a discussion of whether the level of censorship being displayed by the Timberland High School principal was within “acceptable” levels. Apparently the kids have been feeling a bit censored for some time now. [Read More]
censorship  highschool  newspaper  social issues  timberland 

That Must Have Been One Hell of a Cookie

 Posted on March 18, 2010  |  The Editor

Spotted on St. Louis’ Craigstlist section under “Missed Connections” last night: i almost killed you with an oatmeal cookie – w4w – 25 (st. louis) ****j.w, i really want to see your smile again. i promise to show you a good time. if anything, just for fun. think about it… Hey there! w4w eh? Nice… Here’s hoping “oatmeal cookie” is a euphemism for “amazing night of crazy lesbian sex where one of us is dressed as a sexy librarian and the other one as a school girl and involved all the hot stuff and none of the weird stuff that lesbians probably prefer but doesn’t fit with male fantasies” [Read More]
craigslist  girls  lesbians  missed connection 

St. Louis is the 21st Craziest City

 Posted on March 12, 2010  |  The Editor

Everyone thinks their home town is the craziest. “Oh man. Crazy times back then. You think this place is crazy?! Dude. Nothing like my town.” Wouldn’t it be fun if someone ruined all those arguments by making up random data points and then ranking the cities accordingly? The Daily Beast did just that. We didn’t win. St. Louis came in at #21 with 20 psychiatrists per capita, a stress score* of 23, a 34 on eccentricity*, a drinking rating* of 22 and the following comment: [Read More]
cities  crazy  the daily beast  weird 

The St. Louis Connection to Corey Haim

 Posted on March 11, 2010  |  The Editor

Everyone knows by now that have the world’s supply of popular 80s icons named Corey has been dropped by half after the news yesterday of Corey Haim’s death that made the world stand up and say “Oh yeah! …Wait, which one was he?” But did you know that there was a late-life connection between Haim and St. Louis? …and it was right under TMZ’s nose! Seen on the right and below, looking like he took an overdose of cool rather than horse tranquilizer or whatever is Corey Haim rocking the t-shirt of the band Unset. [Read More]
corey haim  dead  gridiron records 

Hog Farms Ordered to Pay 11 Million Because They Smell

 Posted on March 8, 2010  |  The Editor

Watch out Rams, apparently you can get fined now for stinking. A state court jury in Jackson County, Mo., returned an $11 million verdict Thursday against industrial hog producers Premium Standard Farms Inc., a subsidiary of Smithfield Foods, and the privately held ContiGroup Cos. (previously Continental Grain) in favor of residents living near the defendants’ 4,300-acre factory hog farm in northern Missouri. The verdict, covering 11 years of damages, is the largest monetary award against a hog farm in an odor nuisance case. [Read More]
pigs  stink  things that stink 

Chuck Berry Visits His Old High School, Refuses to Take Off Stupid Hat

 Posted on March 5, 2010  |  The Editor

Check out these cropped screencaps of a few of the photos the St. Louis Post Dispatch took of music legend Chuck Berry getting a tour of his old high school. Wearing that damn hat. What is up with that thing? Did someone tell him that’s a sweet hat, so he’s rolling with it thinking he looks cool? Did he take a boat or dingy to his old high school? Will no one tell Chuck Berry he looks like an ass? [Read More]
chuck berry  hat