St. Louis Native Son, John Goodman 1/8th the Man He Used to Be

 Posted on June 14, 2010  |  The Editor

Despite what you may have heard from Google (see below) John Goodman, native St. Louisan, isn’t dead. He’s just a hell of a lot skinnier than he was. Bam: What is more shocking than Goodman in the tux, is what a disgusting blob he was. Sure, he’s always been a big boy, but my god. Freaking gross man. How does one even begin to know how to clean effectively under a bitch tit? [Read More]
fat  john goodman  skinny 

News to Only White People: Black Guys Get Pulled Over a Lot

 Posted on June 4, 2010  |  The Editor

Hey guess what 2010, you’re not really all that advanced and progressive as Twitter would have you believe. Black guys are still getting pulled over at an alarmingly higher rate. The first report, issued in 2001, said black motorists in Missouri were 30 percent more likely than whites to be pulled over, when considering total populations of driving-age residents by race. For 2009, the year that Koster reported upon today, blacks were 62 percent more likely than whites to be stopped. [Read More]
driving  police  race  social issues 

Science Explains Why East St. Louis Sucks Giant Zoo Elephant Butt

 Posted on June 2, 2010  |  The Editor

We all know East St. Louis sucks. Really sucks. Like, “Why can’t you just call yourself ‘West Chicago’?” sucks. But do you know why? Not just the shootings and the hookers, but why there are shootings and hooker? …and why most eastern parts of other towns suck the same way, albeit, much less? Take it away science! The reason for this is that in much of the northern hemisphere, the prevailing winds are westerlies – blowing from west to east. [Read More]
east  east st. louis  pollution  science  social issues 

Three Chicks Got Hit By Lightning

 Posted on June 1, 2010  |  The Editor

“Hey its storming. Lets go to the park!” “Ow.” “Did we just get hit by lightning?” “I think so.” “We should tell someone.” “Ok. How about a park ranger?” “Sounds good to me.” “I’m going to sit down.” As storms rolled through the area Monday, three females on their way to St. Vincent County Park said they believed they were struck by lightning while en route. The females, ages 22, 18, and 12 approached a park official and said notified the officer of their condition. [Read More]
girls  lightning  park  weird 

Another Study Says it Sucks to Live in St. Louis

 Posted on June 1, 2010  |  The Editor

So yet another study says it sucks to live in St. Louis. Out of 67 cities, St. Louis came in 40th under the vague “Quality of Life” category. The study compared the performances of America’s 67 biggest metropolitan areas in 20 statistical categories. The highest scores went to well-rounded markets with healthy economies, moderate costs of living, light traffic, impressive housing stocks and high-powered educational systems. […] The St. Louis area’s lowest rankings, each at No. [Read More]
list  quality of life  rankings 

Top 5 Name Suggestions For that Dumb Owl

 Posted on May 25, 2010  |  The Editor

The other day an endangered owl who clearly didn’t realize it was endangered, did it’s best Rams offensive linemen impression and got its owl face smashed in by a fire truck in Wentzville, MO. The firemen said “Screw that. We’re not stopping. Owl wasn’t even on fire.” but when it got to where it was going, it realized the bird was stuck to their truck and then pretty much had to do something about it so it got a shovel and flicked it on the steps of a bird sanctuary. [Read More]
animals  owl  wentzville 

St. Louis Apparently Big in Chess Scene So We Pick Who Should Play the Pieces.

 Posted on May 25, 2010  |  The Editor

So apparently St. Louis is a chess hot-bed. Who knew? Apparently its such an awesome chess scene that this crap happened… A few weeks ago, [Hikaru Nakamura, the reigning national chess champion] made news simply by relocating. The 22-year-old announced he was moving from Seattle to St. Louis to be a part of the burgeoning chess scene and to be a spokesman for the swanky Chess Club and Scholastic Center of St. [Read More]
board games  chess  d sly  Hikaru Nakamura  mayor slay 

Weird St. Louis Professor Katz Kicked Off Oil Super-Team

 Posted on May 19, 2010  |  The Editor

It was just yesterday we made fun of nutty Washington University Professor Jonathan I. Katz for his F-ed up blog posts about defending homophobia and other fun stuff like “Why Terrorism is Important”. We were still totally happy that a St. Louis mind got in the game! …well move over Detroit. We’re gonna need a seat on the bench after all. Jonathan I. Katz, a physics professor at Washington University in St. [Read More]
fired  Jonathan I. Katz  Washington University 

Figures The Weird Scientist is From St. Louis

 Posted on May 18, 2010  |  The Editor

President Obama has assembled the all-nerd A-Team to help fix this whole oil thing we’ve heard about occasionally. These scientists are the best of the best, the brightest minds, the thickest glasses…but every A-Team needs a crazy Murdock-type guy. Guess where this nut case is from? Jonathan I. Katz, physics professor at Washington University in St. Louis. Katz, a member of the prestigious JASON think tank, did his early work in astrophysics, though he now tackles a wide variety of physics problems. [Read More]
Jonathan I. Katz  obama  oil spill  scientist 

State Representative Cynthia Davis and Her Funny Farm

 Posted on May 18, 2010  |  The Editor

We’re starting to fall in love with State Rep. Cynthia Davis of O’Fallon. Not like the way girls fall in love with us after a wink and a sip of that drink they should have guarded, but more so in a “We’re pretty sure you are nuts and horrible at your job, but we want you to stick around anyway because you’re nuts and horrible at your job” kinda way. [Read More]
chickens  cynthia davis  morons