It’s Way Too Easy To Scam People From Illinois

 Posted on June 11, 2010  |  The Editor

Maybe we just over-complicate things. Maybe we just gave people from Illinois too much credit. We don’t know… We just never thought that knocking on people’s doors and saying “Hi, can you give me some money? … Why? I don’t know something about my car I guess…Can you just give it to me now? … Thanks!” would work. It does apparently. Just follow the people that can’t drive across the river and ask all the slightly more poor people over there. [Read More]
begging  illinois  scam 

Ms Teacher Bangs a Boy

 Posted on June 11, 2010  |  The Editor

Congratulations to that 15 year old kid with the wispy mustache (probably) who got his PE teacher at Trinity High School in Maryland Heights to bang him. The St. Louis County Prosecutor’s Office charged Kellie Ryan of Maryland Heights with one count of second-degree statutory rape and two counts of statutory sodomy. Ryan, 26, is a physical education teacher at Trinity High School. She’s accused of sleeping with a 15-year-old student. [Read More]
kellie ryan  sex  teacher 

Guy Clumsily Out Smarts Dumbass Thieves

 Posted on June 10, 2010  |  The Editor

KSDK is reporting both on their site and on the air that a Jefferson County man outsmarted his home intruder. The guy got away, so I guess this is kinda true…but, we think the word “outsmarted” might be overstating things a little. Judge for yourself. One of [the] victims they say thought fast to protect his home and future wife. When 26 year old Nick Barr got up for a drink of water just before 1 a. [Read More]
home invasion  jefferson county 

Gyro House Guy: The Murder is Still Out There

 Posted on June 9, 2010  |  The Editor

These posters are up all over the Loop.

…ok. So are they saying the “perp” is a burn victim? Is he wearing a black guy mask? A robot from the future? …I really think we need to go back to the drawings of the guys…these computer sketches look weird.

gyro house  murder  wanted 

Woman Found Almost Dead in Forest Park Creek Bed. The Boy Scouts Are on the Case!

 Posted on June 7, 2010  |  The Editor

A family (not pictured) stumbled across a tied up and nearly dead woman laying a creek bed in Forest Park last week. Though if you ask the Post Dispatch, its clear they think the father was the star of the show here, and even mentioned about 100 times that he is a Boy Scout Master. Who cares? Freaking girl nearly died, why do I care why the people who found her were in the park for? [Read More]
boy scouts  forest park  rape 

RIP Gyro House Guy

 Posted on June 7, 2010  |  The Editor

We “like” lots of St. Louis restaurants, but we only love a few. Gyro House in the Loop is one of them, though sadly it’s owner was shot and killed outside of his home Friday night in Maplewood. It’s weird. We’ve seen Ahmed a lot though didn’t actually know his name until now, and never said much more to him other than “Jumbo gyro to go.” and “Thanks.” Police said Ahmed Eltawmi, 50, owner of the Gyro House in the Delmar Loop, was shot three times during a dispute and scuffle shortly after 9 p. [Read More]
gyro house  murder 

Home Explosion Sadly Meth, and Not Mad Scientist Related

 Posted on June 4, 2010  |  The Editor

A house exploded on Big Bend Station in Manchester Wednesday! I wonder what awesome project was being worked on in there…flubber? Creating a woman that will have sex with anyone? Maybe a transporter? …must be awesome though because they blew up the house and that mean crazy kid scientist that will walk out with soot all over his face and his hair spiked looking dazed, but totally fine. His parents will just look at him…”That’s our Jimmy! [Read More]
drugs  explosion  meth 

Cops Nab 45 Car Thieves After Starting New Program

 Posted on June 3, 2010  |  The Editor

St. Louis’ finest has struck a big blow against our city’s horrible car theft problem with a new program, netting nearly 50 criminals in just one week. The new program is called “Actually Trying” Thieves are becoming more sophisticated and more organized when it comes to what police call ‘car clouting,’ according to authorities. To fight back, a special patrol of officers is working the central corridor of the city from downtown to the Central West End. [Read More]
carjacking  police  theft 

Awesome Story From the Past: Randi Naughton and Her Breasts Hate Ricky Lamming

 Posted on May 28, 2010  |  The Editor

We’ve only been posting here at Punching Kitty for about a year and a half, but its not the only time we’ve taken a moment to enjoy how amazingly weird St. Louis really is. Take for instance this story about Fox 2 anchor Randi Naughton and her admirer Ricky Lamming which we originally wrote for Hell Yeah Bitch! .com. We recently ran across this old story and well, consider this a Punching Kitty prequel. [Read More]
past  prequel  randi naughton  ricky lamming  weird 

You Can’t Even Eat Your Chinese Take Out Without Getting Shot in St. Louis…twice.

 Posted on May 27, 2010  |  The Editor

Dude goes to pick up his chinese take out in Washington Park and as he was leaving the place couple of guys rolled up and shot him twice. Probably turned the gun sideways first too…does that matter? It looks cooler for sure though. Probably worth whatever downgrade in aim that comes along with it. Washington Park Police Chief David Clark said that at 10:03 p.m. Tuesday, the victim was coming out of the China House Restaurant on Kingshighway when two men approached him. [Read More]
chinese  shooting