O’Fallon Man Got Busted For Being Internet Perv
Posted on December 12, 2011
| The Editor
Robert Stevens, a 34 year old man from O’Fallon, Missouri, was charged with five counts of being a total perv after exposing himself to teenage girls on the internet.
A St. Charles Sheriff’s Department detective wrote in court documents that in September, Stevens opened five separate user accounts on the social networking site myYearbook.
The website captured the images of Stevens exposing himself and notified authorities. The default settings to communicate via webcam to other users was set so that Stevens could communicate with 13 to 17-year-old girls, the detective wrote.
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Drunk Guy Arrested After Eating Stranger’s Cereal
Posted on December 8, 2011
| The Editor
Early Sunday morning a drunk guy wandered in to someone’s house in Columbia, Illinois, grabbed a bowl of cereal and made himself at home. He didn’t sneak in, just came right in through the front door, right passed the home owner and chilled in their kitchen.
“He walked into the house. The dad met him in the living room. He thought he was a friend of one of his sons at first.
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Wentzville Tattoo Artist Invents New Belly Piercing Remover…Oh Wait. That’s Just a Gun.
Posted on December 5, 2011
| The Editor
A Wentzville tatto shop owner is facing gun and drug charges, which is a total bummer since he’s already in trouble for getting caught video taping women in his shop’s bathroom. The real shame of all of this is the lost of trust, because if you can’t trust your small town creepy tattoo artist to not shoot you or videotape you in the horrible little bathroom, then what do you have in this world?
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Wildwood Man Gets Caught Using Fake Dick to Pass Drug Test
Posted on November 28, 2011
| The Editor
Here’s what we learned today: Drug test forging or “possession of a forging instrumentality” are felonies. In more layman’s terms, trying to get past your court mandated drug-checking urine test by purchasing a fake penis filled with fake piss can get you in a lot of trouble.
According to paperwork filed in St. Louis County Circuit Court, Eric A. Throckmorton, 29, of the 16200 block of Port of Nantucket in the Grover area of Wildwood, was charged earlier this month with one count each of forgery and possession of a forging instrumentality.
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Really Happy Fat Guy Busted For Marijuana Possession
Posted on November 23, 2011
| The Editor
Richard Nolan was arrested by the Illinois State Police after they stopped the 66 year old for “improper lane usage” and found eight duffel bags filled with marijuana. All told, Nolan has 118 pounds of the wacky tobacky in the car while driving on I-55/I-70.
Nolan’s picture (right) illustrating his jubliant demeanor means that it was either taken just before they told him that he won’t be taking his luggage full of weed with him, just after he helped himself to that special brownie in his pocket, the mugshot guy has really mastered the “look at the stuffed animal to make people smile” technique, or it’s just true that fat old people really are just jolly all the time.
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Lady Shoots Little Girl in the Back With BB Gun Because Shut Up! You Want Some Too?!
Posted on November 15, 2011
| The Editor
A 20 year old Shiloh woman is in jail tonight because she decided to shoot a 10 year old in the back with a BB gun one fateful October 30th afternoon. “What the hell is wrong with this broad?” is what you might be thinking, but wait…this is the metro East area we’re talking about and she only used a BB gun. Sounds like the little tyke got off easy. Middle school is when they start dodging .
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Occupy Protestors Arrested, At Least One Realizes That Jail Isn’t Fun
Posted on November 14, 2011
| The Editor
Friday night the deadline ordered by the Mayor’s office gave passed, and so police converged on downtown’s Kiener Plaza to disperse the Occupy STL protestors. Many did just that, but 27 were arrested and dude…you’re not going to believe this…but like…they went to the same jail as like people that totally broke laws and junk! Eww!
KMOX’s Brad Choat, on the scene outside the jail Saturday afternoon reports one of the protesters was released shortly before 2 pm.
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Mayor Slay Found an Almost Dead Guy in South City
Posted on October 26, 2011
| The Editor
No, no no. This isn’t some symbolic deal where we say Mayor Slay found the beaten body of a nearly dead spirit of St. Louis on the sidewalk that told him he should probably do a little more about the crime. Mayor Slay actually found the beaten body of a nearly dead guy on the sidewalks of South City.
Mayor Slay said he was traveling along South Grand Boulevard near the intersection of Utah Street in south St.
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Kansas City Man Runs Naked in to House, and in to Child’s Room
Posted on October 24, 2011
| The Editor
Everyone has that crazy cousin right? Well not like these Kansas City folks who probably won’t be inviting their Kentucky cousin back to Kansas City for the holidays after he did some wild stuff. Now sure, this kinda thing might sound pretty reasonable for people in Kentucky, but ’round these parts (yes, even Kansas City), it’s pretty “weird” alright. By “weird’ we mean “molester-ish”. Oh, and by “molester-ish” we mean “seriously 100% messed up and totally molester-y”…seriously.
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Illinois’ Has Run Out of Ideas, Turns to Posters to Stop Meth
Posted on October 6, 2011
| The Editor
Meth is a serious problem for the world, and the midwest specifically. No one knows that more than Missouri and Illinois who have tried everything from technology to legislation to stem the tied of stinky, rash covered meth users. …ok not everything. There is one thing Illinois has left in it’s pocket. It’s been afraid to use it up until now, but dammit, it’s time to go all in! See if you can handle this meth addiction!
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