PUNCHING KITTY

So I popped on to KSDK.com today. I just had a totally random thought to check in on how things are going in St. Louis, and I knew I didn’t want to deal with the pop-up ad, video autoplay hellscape that is STLToday’s business model violently dying like when they put the T2000 in the molten steel at the end of “Terminator 2: Judgement Day”.

Where was I? Oh, yes. I loaded up KSDK.com and I found that you’re all dead. All of you. Dead dead dead…except the intern who posts stuff to KSDK.com, but does that count as life?

Hey everybody! Been a while. What’s going on?

Oh…ok, cool. So just like usual stuff then? Got it.

Video of Mark McCloskey and Patricia McCloskey pointing guns at protesters walking by their home in St. Louis, Missouri on June 28, went viral on Twitter. The married couple, who work together as personal injury trial lawyers, came out of their house armed on Sunday to prevent protesters from walking onto their property in the Forest Park area.

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Yeah. I came back for this. I pick and choose when I show up now, and I’ve skipped a lot of crazy stuff since I’ve been gone, but I can assure you the Blues winning the goddamned Stanley Cup qualifies.

This is indeed a crazy time for us all, and it feels weird because it’s a good crazy which a lot of you are very much not used to. Don’t be scared! Enjoy this time and ride out these strange feelings of happiness. If things get a bit too trippy, just remember that the Cardinals suck and there’s probably a new bill in the Missouri state senate that requires all women install a small inflatable slide in their vaginas to allow any fetuses easy exit in the case of a water landing. What I’m saying is that things will get back to normal really fast.

Three quick questions, dear readers:

1. When did KSDK decide to start calling themselves “5 On Your Side”? Was “5 Why Do We Exist Outside of Jeopardy Syndication” even considered?!

2. Was it the same time that they just gave up on their website?

3. Anything big happen since we stopped posting regularly? No globally attention-getting race wars or anything? Oh, good. I was worried the place went to hell since we left.

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I know. We’re not doing this site any more, but this video makes us both not miss St. Louis weather, but really really miss writing about stuff like this. I couldn’t resist.

As you all know, we dropped the bomb on our readers last Wednesday when we announce that we would be no longer posting regularly on this very site. It made us sad too, but it was even more sad when we saw the love all day on Wednesday and even in to Thursday and Friday.

Here are is a collection of our favorite Twitter goodbyes, but there was also some great ones on Facebook and in emails directly to us (click on the image below to see the full list). Thanks guys!

It’s been a convergence of many landmark numbers at Punching Kitty over the last couple of months. To name a few: We won a second RFT Web Award, we hit our 4th birthday, and this is our 2,000th post.

Now, we’re adding another: The end of regular posting on Punching Kitty.

(No pressure, but if you want to have this playing the background while you continue to read, we think it would really make the moment.)

Being too drunk is usually a problem but sometimes, particularly in St. Louis, it’s a great thing. For example, it’s the only way to get really excited about going to City Diner. It makes you completely unaware of stabbings, and not in just the Dateline Mystery “No, I don’t remember stabbing my wife…” kind of way.

Police are investigating the possible stabbing of a middle-aged man after his sister noticed several lacerations on his body Saturday night.

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Earlier this week we took some time out of our day, pressed pause on our continual Mila Kunis British interview watching, and told the St. Louis media how to fix themselves…and then we waited. Waited for the “Oh you think you’re so smart!” or “You deserve to get more than the usual amount of ass cancer!” emails/comments/tweets to come rolling in, but they never did. Instead we got things like this: