No one would have thought a “casual” date request on Craigslist could go so wrong, but here we are. Hell must have frozen over at this point, or maybe Lindsay Lohan finally told someone “No, I don’t think it will fit in there,” because if a Craigslist arranged date has gone awry the world is clearly on it’s head.

You picking up the sarcasm?

Good.

[A] man told St. Peters Police he placed an ad on Craigslist for a casual date that entailed dinner and a movie.

…and just a dinner and a movie right? Nothing else? You were definitely trying to keep this encounter of the casual persuasion we assume.

Christina Marie Gable, 30, of Winfield, responded to the ad. The man drove to Winfield to pick her up and took her back to his home in the 400 block of Lantana Lane West.

A 60 minute round-trip drive for dinner and a movie?  Chivalry is certainly not dead in St. Peters! (Note: Chivalry is actually dead on the East side. She used to strip over at PT’s.)

Gable began drinking vodka heavily and then told him wanted she wanted him to pay her $1,000 for sex. The man said he refused to pay for sex and offered to take her home.

Woah woah woah! I thought this was the kind of date where I come pick you up at your house, bring you to my place to watch Top Gun on VHS and then we see what happens, but now you want me to pay?!

Gable then threatened his life several times and began hitting, scratching and biting him, according to the police report.

The St. Peters police officer reported Gable was intoxicated when he arrived and was speaking incoherently. The officer said she spit on him through the cage bars in the squad car seven to 10 times.

Don’t worry about your bum Craigslist date bro. Turns out she was a spitter anyway.

via St. Peters Patch and our tipser