Christopher Frank, area business man and former board member at St. Louis Children’s Hospital, has been charged with “sexual misconduct involving a child under age 15” after an odd encounter with a child at a Brentwood Home Depot back in November.
Police said Frank got on his knees in a restroom stall and showed his genitals to a child in the next stall over.
Authorities said Frank then lied down on the floor and watched the boy use the restroom.
The restroom at Home Depot was the spot this guy picked to (allegedly) perv out on a kid?! We didn’t even know people hung around Home Depot long enough to work up a “crap now I gotta figure out where the bathrooms are in this place”-level trip to the john, let alone that anyone would hang out in one waiting for a kid to come through there. Maybe it wasn’t “premeditated”, but if so, are you just walking in to a Home Depot bathroom and thinking “This kid should see my penis.”? Even if you are that sick, action like that, where others might pop in on you at any moment, is pretty amazingly brazen.
Frank’s attorney, Derek Rudman, says his client is innocent, but would not say why.
He should have waiting for a good pause, and then shouted out: “Because my client doesn’t have a penis!” to which everyone would have gasped…and then looked confused. “Ok, he has a penis…and he paints it to look like a Butterfinger (fun size). But it would be way more awesome if he didn’t right? How dramatic would that have been?!”