St. Louis will never run out of things we want to steal. This time it was snakes from the World Aquarium located inside downtown’s City Museum: One six foot long Boa Constrictor, one five foot long California Kingsnake, a four and a half foot long Dumeril’s Boa and a two foot long Ball Python. 17.5 feet of total snake, at an estimated worth of over 10 thousand bucks!

“I think they knew these were high valued animals and they could take these animals and market these animals,” said World Aquarium President Leonard Sonnenschein.

Employees noticed the snakes and chameleon were missing on the morning of May 19th.  There was no sign of a break-in and police quickly ruled out the possibility that the reptiles escaped on their own.

Well if the snakes didn’t do it, then who? Did one of the hipsters that frequent the City Museum decide his snakeskin tie was getting a little too corporate?

Sonnenschein says that the night of May 18th, two electrical contractors were working at the World Aquarium after the aquarium closed to the public.  No employees were around, but Sonnenschein says he knew and trusted one of the contractors.  He didn’t know the assistant.

So you trust the contractors, but not the assistant that came and left with the contractors you say you trust?

“Hey Jerry, did you come in with those snakes? Oh well, carry on then dude!”

Do you usually leave contractors alone in the place over night?

“We do not, on any regular basis, leave contractors here alone.

…but you did.

This is the first time, but this is a well known contractor to us.  The person who was not well known to us was the person who was the helper person.”

Ah, ok…and other than “helper person” do we have anything else to go on?

“If you know that anybody who has a bright, red albino boa that’s mean… it’s probably ours.”

Huh. This isn’t much, but here’s a quick sketch we managed to come up with based on your details Mr. Sonnenschein:

You gotta wonder why suspicions weren’t raised when the helper contractor walked in with a large knife and a monkey, but if put in that same position we probably wouldn’t have said a thing to the guy and then went home thinking that was the coolest damn contractor’s assistant we’d ever seen.

Anyone with information is instructed to stay the hell away from us because you’re probably a weird snake person and lets them sit in your mouth for no other reason than because you were a weird little kid that wanted to be cool, and mistakenly thought snakes would get you there. Aren’t you late for your late night stock room job at Best Buy? You better get going! (…lucky guess.)

via KMOV