Like most towns Pevely, Missouri is hard up for cash, but unlike most towns they’ve decided the best way to save some money is to take away a time tested, doctor approved health benefit: putting fluoride in the water.

Many communities add fluoride to the water system to help prevent tooth decay.

But Pevely says it just doesn’t have the money anymore.

“…so screw you Pevely teeth! It’s fine. No one’s going to notice your crappy teeth in southern Missouri, and it’s not like putting fluoride in the city’s water supply works really well or anything.”

The Centers for Disease Control call water fluoridation one of the 10 great public health achievements of the 20th century.

In fact, the CDC estimates 74 percent of Americans are on community water systems that contain fluoride.

NewsChannel 5’s Sharon Stevens spoke with health officials, including dentists, in the Pevely area and the said taking fluoride out of the drinking water could have devastating effects, maybe not now, but down the road.

Everyone likes it huh? Even that 10th dentist that always seems to hate the toothpaste commercial you’re watching agrees? Damn.

Water, Pevely officials say, does not have to be fluorinated to be healthy.

Oh, well we certainly trust some representative from a cash-strapped city above any stupid dentist for teeth related matters. You know just today a homeless guy told us that the best part of the pizza is the crust with the seasoning pre-licked off and there’s no shame in just masturbating or pooping wherever feels right, because leaving toxins in your body makes you more conductive and it’s easier for the Golf Channel to read your thoughts via their satellite, and that sounds pretty on the money to us too.

via KSDK