If you’ve ever made the poor choice to get a massage at a place in St. Charles owned by a guy that looks like the standard Law and Order rapist, then congrats on being a movie star! …well not all of you. Some of you ladies are unattractive enough that he probably threw away the tape after you left, or maybe didn’t even bother to turn the secret camera on. Lucky you! You always said that someday you’d lose 50 lbs and get that goiter removed, but you hesitated. Maybe because you knew somehow…or maybe you just love all food within an arm’s reach. Regardless you’re safe, sorry hot chicks.

Kirk Michael Jackson, 38, of the 600 block of King Drive in St. Charles, was charged in St. Charles County Circuit Court on Thursday with one felony count of invasion of privacy of multiple individuals. He runs Atlas Massage Therapy, in the 94 Hemsath Business Park at 2368 South Outer Highway 94.

Kirk Michael Jackson? Sure Kirk’s not the only little boy to grow up with “Michael Jackson” in him (ahem), but having “Michael Jackson” inside your name should have been a tip off to at least be concerned about his possible creepy level.

Police learned about Jackson earlier this month, after a woman went to his office for a massage. As she waited, she noticed a tissue box cover in the corner with holes on the side of it.

He hid the camera in a tissue box? That makes a lot of sense in a sick kinda way.

She lifted the cover and thought she saw a video camera, but Jackson knocked and asked to come in before she could get a good look, police said.

Still, the woman allowed Jackson to give the massage.

Wait, what?

She noticed a small light coming from the box, police said. After Jackson left, the woman got dressed and confronted him. He went back to the room, tried to hide the camera in his palm and denied knowing what she was talking about, police said. The woman left and called police.

So she was mad enough to cause a stink in the office rather than just quietly call the cops, but she wasn’t mad enough to pass on the massage? Clearly this guy is a magician with his hands and he will be super popular in prison.

Of course one person’s word against another isn’t enough for an arrest, so the cops came up with a plan:

St. Charles police had an undercover female officer make an appointment for a massage on Wednesday. When the officer arrived — with other officers waiting with a search warrant in the parking lot — Jackson told her to take off her clothes and lie on the table. She didn’t, and then the other officers came inside.

…so the point of the undercover officier was what exactly? Are we missing something? She came in, didn’t get undressed or have a massage, and then they cops busted the place. That was it. Seems like you could have just busted the place with your search warrant. Sounded like someone just wanted to go undercover…to be uncovered. That sounds like the tag line to a horrible buddy cop flick or the description of a very good Friday night Cinemax feature.

On [Jackson’s] website, Jackson explains that clients do not have to undress, but if they do, he will only undrape the part of the body he is working on at the moment.

“It is against the law in Missouri to massage an undraped client who is also undressed,” he wrote. “Any client who insists on being both undraped and undressed will be asked to leave.”

You don’t have to undress, but if you do, please make sure to look right in to the tissue box and say your name and turn-ons. Licking your lips while you do it would be a huge plus. …also don’t take any of the tissues as we don’t have many left, thus the blinking “low on tissues” light.

via STLToday