From the website, Texts From Last Night, we present to you the Top 10 texts from the 314 area code!

#10:

i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.

#9:

Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.

#8:

I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.

#7:

I mean I like that it’s warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can’t walk around naked anymore.

#6:

Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.

#5:

screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that’s all.

#4:

I still can’t believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.

#3:

I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.

#2:

I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.

#1:

WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?

You people are weird.