Mayor Slay is Getting Bossy on Twitter

Have you been reading the St. Louis City Mayor’s Twitter account lately? Damn he’s getting bossy. In the last 12 hours Frankie Slay has told us what to wear, what to go see, and what to do with our weekend.

First off let us say that when we glance at his tweets we see: “If you select your work clothes the night before, remember to think RED. #fags” Don’t you? Sorry, but you will now. Now maybe this is when we’ll loose you, but we are always bummed to find we read it wrong. Come on. You know you would laugh your ass off if you ever saw: “Hey lets make sure we are nice to any visiting Cubs fans this weekend. #fags”?!

In other, more pertinent, thoughts, who the hell lays out their work clothes the night before? You remembering to write your bus number on your hand too and have that permission slip pinned to your shirt?

For the record, this tweet would have been spectacular for a trailing “#fags” hash tag.

No. No, we won’t.

Don’t be that guy Mayor Slay. Don’t be the “go outside” guy. There are lots of lovely, enriching, great activities indoors every day even when its nice outside. What about people that are bed ridden because they are so fat they can’t move their legs? How are they supposed to go outside Mayor?! You’re just taunting them with your “executive order”. We bet they would love to go outside and run around and continue eating that 7 layer cake they somehow got from somewhere…seriously, have you ever noticed that fat people can always manage to produce food at a moments notice? One time we saw a fat guy in St. Louis drinking out of a Checkers cup! A Checkers cup! There aren’t even Checkers out here (here they are Rally’s). How did he get that? Is there some fat guy food physics I’m not aware of?

Where were we? Oh yeah, Mayor Slay killed a guy.  Oh no wait. He just hates bed ridden fat people.  Doesn’t sound as bad now does it? You owe us one Mayor.