A man was  shot in Wentzville’s St. Patrick’s church over the weekend and the police are ruling it as an accident, which is just so St. Charles County. Sure people get shot out there too, just like in the city, but out there it’s always “My bad! Junior’s still a learnin’ about the safety! He’ll master it by age 5 like his daddy!” rather than a 45 year old prostitute gunning down some crackhead trying to steal her stash.

According to reports, a trivia night fundraiser for a cancer patient was wrapping up with approximately 165 people left cleaning up, moving chairs and clearing the tables. ”As things were winding down some balloons were being popped and during the popping of the balloons there was a pop that was unrecognizable and there was a victim of a gunshot,” said Wentzville Police Chief Lisa Harrison.

Initially the police detained every attendee of the gathering that were still at the church, searching and questioning each one until roughly 3am. The police later decided the incident was an accident when the shooter came forward Sunday morning after seeing the news coverage. Seriously, he didn’t come forward because he shot a random bullet through a church hitting someone, but because he saw the news coverage. Even if you somehow weren’t aware that it hit anyone and instead just knew you can fired off a random shot, wouldn’t you come forward regardless to make sure you didn’t do something horrible like…well hit someone in the chest while they were attending a Saturday night church trivia night fundraiser for a cancer patient?!

The victim’s condition is unknown at the time of this writing (though hopefully he’s doing well) and more specifics about the case should be released later today after the St. Charles County Prosecutor’s office has time to go over the report and decide on charges. In the meantime, some people thought about doing a new trivia night for the guy that was shot at the last charity trivia night, but felt like it’s too soon right now because the questions and answers are still pretty fresh in everyone’s mind. Plus no one’s too wild about the location they used last time. They should try to find something even less likely to take a bullet in than a Catholic church for the next one…maybe something like a baby animal petting zoo, or an all cute asian baby orphanage.

via KMOV

A Wentzville tatto shop owner is facing gun and drug charges, which is a total bummer since he’s already in trouble for getting caught video taping women in his shop’s bathroom. The real shame of all of this is the lost of trust, because if you can’t trust your small town creepy tattoo artist to not shoot you or videotape you in the horrible little bathroom, then what do you have in this world?!

Court documents say that when a customer told him she wanted a piercing removed from her belly, he pulled out a hand gun and told her that “this would remove it.”

If we were that lady, we’d be less worried about this chosen piercing removal tools and more concerned about his little squinty eyes. Look at those things! They’re barely bigger than his nostrils! How is this guy tattooing anything correctly, let alone shooting off belly piercings? Maybe that’s why she wanted it remved to begin with, we hear belly piercings are more sexy and easier to remove yourself, when they aren’t 5 inches off center.

via STLToday

Have some extra drugs you don’t need? Swing them by the Wentzville Police Department if you don’t want them. They have a drop box for that now. Time until 4 highschool kids beat the hell out of this thing with a bat to get at the expired woman’s fertility drugs inside? 6 hours.

Removing expired or unused drugs from home medicine cabinets will help in combating prescription drug abuse, especially by adolescents, according to a release from the city. The drugs collected at the drop box will be properly disposed of by incineration. EPA studies have shown that the common practice of flushing expired or unused drugs down the toilet is contaminating water supplies.

The drop box program is anonymous and no investigations will be conducted relative to the drop-offs.

The Wentzville Police want to be clear that their box is the one you should be using and it should not be confused with local druggie kid Keegan Miller’s Drug Donation Box he has taped to the wall in the back of the Walgreens he works at by the dumpster.

via STLToday

Way back in March of this year we told you about the Wentzville Timberland High school, and their teaching staff’s stomping on the poor little journalists of their school paper because they wouldn’t let them write about tattoos. Here’s how we summarized the situation it at the time:

No one is arguing that the principal has the last call in his school, and we aren’t going to get in to that here. This is really about letting the kids put their argument out there, be heard, and have a rational discussion about it. Hell, they even cared enough to start a blog about the subject, and just wanted to be heard by the school board.

…of course by the time all the people on the other side of the coin got done blathering about how censorship is good, time was up and the meeting was over. Go home. F*ck you kids.

Seriously. That’s what happened.

Here we are, eight months after that story, the kids lost and the school board effectively got away with being giant dicks to the very people they are trying to help, all over some silly article about tattoos not being allowed in the school newspaper. The only real winner was the nutcase parents cheered for the principal because he was “saving their children from tattoos”. Guess what guys, the minute your little Jessica gets out of the house her drunk ass is getting a flower on her ankle and won’t tell you until she’s 34.

…especially true since she’ll be getting some practice tattoos from the school this week.

Yup, this week, the Wentzville school district gave out temporary tattoos in support of “Red Ribbon Week,” and even went as far as to encourage the kids to put the tattoos on right away! So the Wentzville school district is not only taking a odd step in their anti-tattoo stance, but now are also taking the role of your drunk friend at the tattoo parlor: “Do it right now man! Don’t think about it! You know you are down right? You support the cause! Just get the tattoo so you can show everyone what you believe it!”

Then 20 years later, when putting away groceries on the top shelf, you can hear your 5 year old child his mother why she has roses growing out of your ass crack and through the eyes of a skull. Because it’s bitchin’ son…and your mother is a skank. Some day when you’re older I’ll explain the Winger tattoo on my left forearm and why you should never do cocaine.

via The Tip Line!

The other day an endangered owl who clearly didn’t realize it was endangered, did it’s best Rams offensive linemen impression and got its owl face smashed in by a fire truck in Wentzville, MO.  The firemen said “Screw that. We’re not stopping. Owl wasn’t even on fire.” but when it got to where it was going, it realized the bird was stuck to their truck and then pretty much had to do something about it so it got a shovel and flicked it on the steps of a bird sanctuary. Maybe it didn’t happen exactly like that, but pretty close.

Anyway, now the people taking care of the bird want their names in the paper too, so they are suggesting a “Name the Bird” content. Sadly its not a poll, but something where they pick the best one which means it will end up being dumb like “Wentzvilly the Owl” or “Fire Bird”. Plus they don’t even know what gender the bird is…

One word of caution to contestants. Officials at the bird sanctuary said the sex of barred owls are difficult to determine, so while they think the injured owl is a male, they can’t be sure. Unisex names might be the way to go.

so that can only add to the suck.

That is just unacceptable. Here is what we have come up with

1. “Owlie McBeal”

2. “Owl Roker”

3. “Owl Qaeda” …because it attacked firemen.

4. “Stupid Owl”

5. “Owl Be Stuck in Wentzville Forever Now”

To make your suggestions head to www.wentzvillefirefighters.org which, coincidentally, is also the worst and oldest looking website ever, and makes you want to stab your eyes out with a 3.5 inch floppy disk and then go watch LA Law reruns with your good eye.

via Chas Beat

After a year filled with layoffs, more layoffs and finally laying off that guy that everyone thought was totally going to be the first one to get canned but somehow making it until the third round, the GM plant in Wentzville, MO rolled out the 2 Millionth “full sized van” yesterday marking another time in history that no one will care about ever.

At about 3:30 p.m., the 2 millionth full size van rolled off the assembly line here at the GM plant.

It is being considered quite an accomplishment, considering that GM laid off about half of its workforce earlier this year. Mayor Paul Lambi and members of the Wentzville Chamber of Commerce were on site to mark the occasion.

Soon that van, like shown above, will be out doing one of the many jobs vans like this do in our society like being adorned with poorly thought out logos for plumbers, storing recently picked up kids for future pedophile-type activities, or carting your giant fertilizer bombs around.  A proud day indeed.

via KSDK