That is what is standing in on KMOX.com.  People are talking about it (shockingly) I’ll give them that, but to us this looks like the site was supposed to be up by now, so they put a splash screen up to buy some time.

No, it has nothing to do with the actual on-air station product.  Its just a website relaunch.

Don’t get us wrong, we are as excited as one can be over the relaunch of St. Louis’ #1 talk radio station’s website, but really only because it happened to be the worst web site of any major media source we have ever seen, so you can really only go up right?

Here’s how it used to look:

Yikes right?

We can’t wait to see it!

Photo critique borrowed from our parent site Hell Yeah Bitch! .com

Hey KSDK.com, this

has got to stop.

If you can’t read that writing about this demographic survey that pops up while using their cluttered site, it reads:

To help us keep ksdk.com available to all users free of charge, please answer the following questions. You should not be asked these questions again during future visits using the same computer.

Register now to post, publish and participate and save keystrokes later.

Come on!  ”To help us keep ksdk.com available to all users?”  There is so much wrong with stuff like this!  What you don’t already run ads on your site?  I can’t believe that some people can’t understand how annoying this kind of stuff is.

Its exactly like the clipboard ladies in the mall.  You know the ones…stretch pants, XXXL t-shirt with a kitty airbrushed on to it, holding a clipboard in her knuckle-dimpled, scrunchy-adorned, hand looking at your with her wide, unblinking eyes.  You look up and what do you do?  Freeze.  Right there in the middle of the mall.  Yeah, you really want to go in to that Walden Books but she’s right there at the entrance!  Your mind races…”how do I get in to the Walden Books with out having to make eye contact.”  Do you go around and try to sneak in behind the fake plant on the far side of the entrance?  Pretend to be super interested in that pamphlet you took off the cell phone case / ceramic puppy kiosk?  Ooh! Your cell phone, you could pretend to be on a call!  …but she’s looking right at you.  Wait!  How long have you been standing there!  Make a move! Make a move!

Your move is the same thing most of us do: You turn your ass around and go get the book on Amazon.

No one likes these things KSDK!  No one like to be accosted, even digitally, when trying to browse around.  If you bug us, we’ll just go.

And another thing!  What’s with the Fark buttons, that allow you to submit the story to the humor site Fark, on every story?  Your a news site.  Some of your “stories” don’t exactly need a Fark button.  Here’s an example:

Ha ha ha ha!  Car accident!  Classic!

Let me start off with this.  I’ve met Joe Edwards a few times now.  He’s awesome.  He’s done a lot of good for St. Louis and the Loop specifically.  He sells one of the best hamburgers in the world at Blueberry Hill.  …and his website for the Pageant sucks.

I’m not sure when they redesigned this, but I hope it wasn’t long ago because knowing something like this existed in the world for longer than a few days makes me scared and nervous like Sigourney Weaver with the Alien running around her ship.

Maybe you think I’m being harsh.  I’m not.  Lets discuss.

Lets start with the background image.  You know, the one that looks like it came off a zebra running through a bad acid trip.  Frankly, this would probably be the least offensive design aspect of this site if the damn thing made it across the whole damn site!  It just stops.  It doesn’t fade, it just stops…in to yet another shade of purple!  …oh.  Unless you are on the Links page (for instance), then it cuts to stark white.

Next we have the…paper?…the “I don’t know what its supposed to be” pattern behind the content.  Its horrible and it repeats far too much.

Then there’s the red.  The horrible horrible red.  There’s a reason no one really uses real red on a website:  It looks like this and it makes people’s eyes bleed.  Wanna use red?  Fine.  Use a shade of red, darker, lighter, whatever…just don’t use red red and especially don’t use this much red red.

We love you Joe and thats why we have to be tough.  A place like yours with just great artists going through it every night (and a great bar that stays open until 3am) deserves a site that doesn’t look like it came from 1996 (For you web geeks, its a table based layout too.)!   You’ve been led astray from the web promise land by some kid that owns a computer or some douche that bought “HTML for Dummies” and decided to start a “Web Design Company” to supplement his income from Quiktrip.  It happens to a lot of people Joe, but the first step is recognizing the problem.

We just thought it would be best to come from someone that loves your burgers more than anyone.