To the winners go the spoils…assuming the winners is us being selected as the Best Local Celebrity Blog by the RFT and spoils mean being discussed on KMOV’s Great Day St. Louis.

They get to us at the end, and we didn’t get a screen shot because we used naughty language in our post earlier today. Oh well.

The important thing is that Virginia Kerr is a good sport! We don’t particularly care if our “targets” don’t get the joke, but it sure is nice when they do. If you aren’t familiar with the post she’s talking about, you can read it here. Scroll to the end for the sexy Larry Connors action!

It’s not just Kerr though, we have always had a fondness for Great Day St. Louis and have discussed it a few times, so to hear our name on that show was a pleasant surprise to say the least. We still think Matt Chambers has to be the devil, but we’re also really happy we got the mention.

Next Steps: 1. Actually appearing on Great Day St. Louis. 2. Sleeping with Megan Fox (figure that’s a given after #1) 3. World Domination! 4. Ice cream.

The great thing about Twitter is that if you ever want to know how dilated your local morning news anchor’s sniz is while she’s going through labor, you can know. We live in the future. Where’s our god-dammed hoverboard?!

Starting with: “This [sic] it! I’m in labor, people!” KMOV morning anchor and resident cutie, Virginia Kerr started the process of labor and a steady stream of tweets up until a few moments before she pooped out her baby boy. …Is that right? Pooping them out? Sounds right.

Contractions every two minutes. They broke my water. Epidural is in. No pain! #fb

Ok! Go Virginia!

Still just hanging out.. I can’t feel a thing..last check I was dialted to a 3 but they haven’t checked since my water broke. #fb

Ok, wow. Gross. Time to stop tweeting and have that baby!

Watching the old movie Wall Street with the hubs. I feel the contractions getting stronger but not painful. Epidural is my friend.#fb

Nothing like having Gordon Gekko be the first voice your child hears.

At a six now! Nauseated and minor pain. Can’t wait to see my little dude. Just tweeting that brings tears! #fb

Six? Sounds like someone’s ready to give birth to a meatball sub.

We r getting close! Could start pushing soon! #fb

Try White Castle. That always makes us go.

We are at a 10! Tweeting is helping me cope. Like how the camera helped me do daring things on live tv when I was a feature reporter #fb

…so you’re saying you need the public eye to do anything daring or exciting Virginia? Awesome! We’re taking a shot in the dark here and going to guess that this kid was conceived in a KMOV news van…

Because of our awesome investigative abilities and rugged masculine charm, we managed to accquire the first baby photo of KMOV’s newest little reporter who already has enough of a resume to be the morning “traffic guy”

We knew it! Larry Connors, you pimp!

KMOV morning cutie Virginia Kerr was opining about stretchmark prevention on a “mommy blog” recently:

Two more weeks until the third trimester! I’m so excited, I think I may have to celebrate that day with ice cream!

BUT it also makes me worry stretch marks are right around the corner. So far, so good but I’ve been reading women get them as late as three days before they give birth.

I’ve been dedicated to putting lotion on my belly, hips and chest every day. I started with that Tummy Butter but it’s too greasy so I just use my Bath and Body Works lotion. Then, I read this week that you can’t do ANYTHING  to prevent because it’s all genetics.

Um gross.

It’s ok though because Virginia is still cute, despite her passenger and possible future genetic stretchmarks (right).

The important thing is she isn’t making a big deal about our whole babby daddy drama and trying to at get my money yo. Usually bitches be trippin’.

Watch out Virginia Kerr, your spot at the top of the “cute TV news reporter” food chain might just be in trouble.  Yes, Kerr still has the KMOV crowd on lock, but the overall title isn’t quite the blowout it once was and what some people think it still is.

We always knew April Simpson from KTVI Fox2 was cute, but after her Twitter picture (below) flashed across our desktop the other day betwixt the other updates of the day, we might have mentally broken up with Kerr and moved to Team Simpson.

Now if you’ll excuse me for a moment, I need to talk with Virginia.  Unless you are Virginia, please turn away from  your screen.

Ok V, we’re alone now.

Virginia…we’ve had some good times haven’t we?

Look, its not you.  Actually its not me either. Its April Simpson. She’s attractive. That’s not either of our faults! Its completely out of our control, but that doesn’t mean I can ignore it.  Its like a tornado of hottness:  No one caused it, but at the same time you can’t ignore it because it breaks a lot of crap.  Also there’s a loud whistling sound, which doesn’t really come in to play here.  I’m just going to throw this out there too: I’ve started to wonder if  you’ve taken your title for granted.  Look at April, that’s a photo from someone thats putting in some work.  Your photos, are cute sure, but nothing you have on your Twitter account can touch this.  This is good for you V!  It’s competition, and that makes everyone raise their game.  Who knows, 6 months from now I could be back on your team.  Good luck to you!  …don’t cry.  Here’s a tissue.  …you know what?  Take the box.

Ok, turn back around  Its over.  The deed is done.

Local news is pretty rough to watch these days as the people in charge continue to claw at the walls of the well they keep falling down, but maybe I’ll start Tivo-ing the Fox 2 mid-day report…you know, just to keep up on the important things, like state fairs and…car wrecks?  …I don’t know what the hell they talk about on local news these days and I don’t care….which is where the mute button comes into play!

Come to think of it, how did you “hear” me write to turn back around to finish reading this?  Total dick move on your part.