Poor Joe Buck (@buck on Twitter), he just can’t win. The St. Louis native is always a dick to your team.Which team? Your team. …No wait. Of the two teams that played in Sunday’s NFC championship game, which one did he hate specifically? The one that you liked.

Of course not everyone is team specific. Other’s just have career advice:

Laugh now, but a small part of you thought Buck heaped a little too much praise on Mike Napoli in the World Series didn’t you?!

So remember when we celebrated “JC Corcoran Says Pujols Will Re-Sign Today” Day? Well that whole thing is still going on. No, not the actual day, that came and went with no Pujols news. What’s still been happening is all the chatter since then which came to a head yesterday after KTRS suspended Corcoran for two weeks, as was initially reported by STLToday, but was independently confirmed with our sources as well. The official word from KTRS has been a firm “No comment.”

Lets review how we got here, and we probably don’t have to tell you that it wasn’t a failed Pujols report that turned Corcoran’s mic off. It was probably this stuff:

You can’t say that to people! What if “HueJashole” is actually 60 years older than he probably is and owns a radio other than the one in his car?! He could be a possible purchaser for whatever it is that advertises on KTRS now that the Cardinals are gone! …seriously, what is it? Polident and collectable plates with Norman Rockwell paintings on them is all we can think of.

More specifically, according to our source, the last straw was Chad Garrison’s Riverfront Times post that listed several of Corcoran’s more choice Twitter replies, which explains Corcoran’s extra little venom-dripping tweets mentioning the RFT’s “idiot logic”.

Well that’s a good point actually. While there is certain validity to the argument that Corcoran is a public figure on a medium based on specific advertiser deals (read: not generic Google ads) and as such he should be keeping his, we’ll just say it, horribly lame insults to himself…but on the other hand, if someone’s being a douche, we’re certainly not going to get on your case for calling them out. Lets investigate by doing exactly what Corcoran suggests: Showing the whole conversation instead of just Corcoran’s reply.

Conversation #1:

First conversation out of the gate and it’s if anyone’s the douchebag in this conversation, it’s JC. First off, JC’s original tweet that starts this off is wrong. Dead wrong, and there’s no other way to see it. The source wasn’t “correct” since there was no deal announced on that fateful Friday. It seems more and more likely that Pujols will return, but Corcoran’s claim was that Pujols’ re-signing would be announced on Friday, and it wasn’t. tkooner makes a snide, but harmless remark and somehow that earns a “blow yourself”?

Corcoran falls behind early in the match!

Douche Tally: “Everyone”  - 0, “JC Corcoran”: 1

Conversation #2:

…but it appears the score might be tied soon as Cardsfan47 comes out of the gate a little strong. We agree that Corcoran threw some shit at the wall and was probably a little surprised by getting burned by the MLB Hot Stove, but jesus dude it’s not like he took a shit on your dog. Anyway, Cardsfan47 starts off with a “fucking #moron” (nice selective use of hash tags) and then JC returns volley with his standard retort…but here’s where things get interesting. Cardsfan47 turns JC’s “blow yourself” command on it’s head by asking Corcoran to do the deed if in fact he is wrong, which is kinda funny…but then undermines it all with a homophobic joke with added homophobic hashtag because that’s the kind of thing you really want to be easily searched for later on.

Deuce!

Douche Tally: “Everyone”  - 1, “JC Corcoran”: 1

Conversation #3:

Lastly, we have conversation #3 where stlcards314 is doing what lots of people do and arguably what Twitter was made for: bitching about stuff he doesn’t agree with. Once again, Corcoran, no matter what happens tomorrow, the next day or any other time, was wrong in his initial attention grab of a tweet and while he certainly got the attention he knew it would get, having people call you stupid is the price. Seems pretty fair. Corcoran must have pressed the “Dick Move on Twitter Easy Button” as here we go again with the douche-calling and the self-blowing so we’re going to have to give Corcoran another point…but wait! stlcards314 evens the score with the most out of left field insults to date: “How’s the ass raping gang bang of your mother going?” Well, that’s one direction we guess, but an ironic “yo mama” joke may have been a better play…actually lots of stuff would have been a better play. Frankly this is just sad all around as both of these guys let someone they don’t know over Twitter get under their skin over when some latino guys going to come back to town.

Douche Tally: “Everyone”  - 2, “JC Corcoran”: 2

In the end the score was technically tied, but Corcoran is clearly the loser. While it’s a free country stlcards314, cardsfan47, tkooner and yes, even punchingkitty can make fun of stljccorcoran all we want on Twitter because we aren’t being paid by advertisers, sure he’s getting some press (lead story on “some local news channel”!) it won’t translate to much of anything in the long run. Frankly the “media” just isn’t as untouchable as they have been in the past (see Matt Sebek’s excellent article for more thoughts on this) and guys like JC have gotten really used to being “A guy on the radio!!!!”, but haven’t noticed they are now they are just “A guy on the radio.” It’s just not special any more…hell, head on down to KFNS where Crazy Dave Greene is running a sale on air time! Just ask and agree to work for free and you too can be “A guy on the radio.”

So what does all this mean for the mid-day shift at the Big 550? Our source says Smash will be taking over the time slot keeping the seat warm for Corcoran, but we’re not sure if that includes any extra-circular self-fellatio advice dispensing. It’s still unclear at this time if Smash will be alone or if Corcoran’s side kick, St. Louis radio mainstay, Trish Gazall will be on the air during Corcoran’s absence.

From JC and the Punching Kitty family to yours, go blow yourself you douche bag and happy holidays!

[Editor's Note: Here's the blanked out version of JC holding the sign for you Photoshoppers. If you use it, share your creation with us! @punchingkitty]

As with the majority of the Cardinals’ playoff games, our fearless editor took to Twitter to comment on the Cardinals World Series Champion parade and Busch Stadium event. If you already follow @mikeflynn_ then you have no doubt already seen this, but others that missed it because they are too “emo” for Twitter have asked for a way to check it out so here, for posterity sake, is the annotated timeline with a few retweets mixed in from others.

@mikeflynn_: I guess I won’t be at Busch for the celebration. Couldn’t find a parking spot closer than my house and Robin doesn’t feel well anyway. #lame

@mikeflynn_: Parades don’t need commentators.

@mikeflynn_:“88 years young…” Get it?! Because people usually say “old”. Fox2 sucks at this so hard.

@mikeflynn_:Jon Jay’s index finger is wilting.

@mikeflynn_: Maybe me watching the parade at home commenting via Twitter is poetic as I didn’t get to go to a game all year, live tweeting instead.

@mikeflynn_: Fox2′s anchoring trying to talk about sports is so freaking horrible the entertainment value is growing on me. “There’s Yadi…the catcher.”

@mikeflynn_: Oh look there’s Theriot. …everyone wait for him to fall off the truck. Don’t worry Frucal will come by and help him out later.

@mikeflynn_: McGwire is taking photos with his iPad…why not? [Reference Pic via @athooks: twitpic.com/78jrma]

@mikeflynn_: Chris Carpenter is really excited as his arm hasn’t fallen off yet. Saving that for Spring Training I would assume.

@mikeflynn_: Lance Lynn is out now…Motte was scheduled to be in that truck originally, but well…you know.

@mikeflynn_: Fox2 is really obsessed with the “team effort” idea, which is special because one really good player is usually all teams need. Right A-Rod?

@mikeflynn_: Ok, so which player will drop an F-Bomb over the stadium mic? Jay’s got a shot, but my money’s on Motte.

@mikeflynn_: Parade security should be on the lookout for Rams players trying to sneak in and pretend people like them (yes I know they won today)

@ericasmith: “This is a happy parade.” #sigh

@mikeflynn_: Tom O’Neal is really missing the teleprompter right now. He’s dropped about 100 “ugh”s so far. #fox2

@mattsebek: Cardinals broadcasting car just went by.  Dan McLaughlin was not driving.

@mikeflynn_: Fox2 parade insight: “The fans and players are smiling.”

@mikeflynn_: Totally weird how everyone’s destiny is to win stuff.

@boxcar_fritz: Please tell me there is a Corey Patterson truck contributing to the parade. #stlcards

@mikeflynn_: Parents! Make sure you take the kids to the Yadi Molina Neck Tattoo painting booth.

@jbacott: Suggestion to Fox2, just loop “Celebration” and “The Heat is On” over and over again in place of the commentary and interviews.  Trust me

@mikeflynn_: Tony rocking the “Happy Flight” sweatshirt. Much better than [the 2006] attire.

@mikeflynn_: Don’t you just want to set that World Series trophy on the other side of the room and see how many bean bags you can throw in to it?

@mikeflynn_: Dan McLaughlin sighting! Remember Dan, they’re just brownies, not love.

@mikeflynn_: Um…yeah. You could say the same during the whole World Series. “@KSDK_Sports: only one teams baseball stadium is sold out today…”

@mikeflynn_: Arthur Rhodes has nothing to say.

@mikeflynn_: Good, I was really hoping we’d get to hear Charles Dooley babble on like a Tracy Morgan character.

@jbacott:  David Freese gets a key to St. Louis City and St. Louis County. Way to summarize the bizarre layout of our city in two awkward presentations

@gabehartwig: Here’s a key to the city. Can you watch our cats?

@mikeflynn_: @gabehartwig No, but a key to the city explains all the home invasions.

@mikeflynn_: Nothing like having everyone say how important trading you away was to the season huh Colby Rasmus?

@mikeflynn_: “Drunk Carp” is the second best kind of Carp, after only “Yelling at Brendan Ryan Carp”

@mikeflynn_: That was embarrassing Horton. Stop making people chant marketing gimmicks.

@boxcar_fritz: Wait… Mike Claiborne is black?

@mikeflynn_: Thanks Tony for walking us through that joke.

@mikeflynn_: Check out Tony with the prepared schtick!

@mikeflynn_: Carpenter can’t shut up and I love his drunken inside jokes.

@boxcar_fritz:  La Russa was two minutes away from talking about how he used to tie an onion to his belt, as was the style of the time. #stlcards

@mikeflynn_: Nice of Tony to throw a nod to the other town’s sports teams that everyone forgot we had.

@mikeflynn_: That last spe[e]ch was like the principal’s awkward buzzkill at the end of the high school prom. “Stay safe and see you Monday morning!”

@mikeflynn_: The MLB Playoffs are now over. We will now return you to the regularly scheduled NFL season, already in progress.

Big game tonight! Here’s a live stream of tweets from some notably funny or knowledgable Cardinal-watching people:

@MattSebek – Joe Sports Fan writer and maker of Cardinal memes.

@athooks – Cards Diaspora.com writer

@tortycraig - Allen Craig’s turtle.

@matthewhleach – Cardinals beat writer for MLB.com

@dgoold – Post Dispatch sports writer. Not the bitchy one that just complains and says “I told you so!” all the time…the other one.

@mikeflynn_ – Punching Kitty.com editor and Cardinal fan that tries really really hard to keep the sports content to a minimum on the site.

@miklasz - Post Dispatch sports columnist. All around nice guy.

Click through the jump to see the full post with Twitter stream and extra in-game updates!

(more…)

We think St. Louis is filled with smart intelligent people that use Twitter to say nothing but notably pithy quotes, but if you are to believe Trends St Louis, then everyone is a retard churning out nothing but song lyrics and offensive hash tags that are just barely one rung on the literary ladder above slamming their faces against the keyboard. (No, no, no…not you. Your tweets are great! We’re talking about the other people.)

#hoesthesedays, #brokehoes, #brokeniggas, #friendsthatfuck? Has St. Louis’ twitter population always been the embodiment of Seth Green’s character from Can’t Hardly Wait or is this a recent thing over our last two week vacation?

As you can see above, it gets worse. We don’t know the exact number of suburban white kids getting all comfy in their new social network home away from MySpace to tweet “#niggasthesedays” needed to make the term “trend”, but we’re guessing it’s more than a few.

Oh wait, there’s still more horribleness! Not only does St. Louis apparently have an issue with broke “hoes” and “niggas” on Twitter, but we also seem to have horrible taste in sports reporters:

Maybe that was too hasty, do we believe that St. Louis took a collective breath between ghetto hashtags just long enough for Andy Strickland to name-drop himself in to the trending promise land, or is it more believable that people actually listen to KFNS after the morning show is over? …ok, neither of those are even remotely believable. We kinda wanna just go with a reason of “unicorn magic”, but unofficially label this one as unsolved.