Like the Tyrannosaurus Rex, the MetroLink train’s vision is based on movement. Still, motionless objects are effectively invisible to these large beasts of burdon, making things like a stalled flatbed truck on the tracks so hard to avoid.

Witnesses said the train, headed eastbound, hit the flat-bed truck that was stalled at the North Market crossing around 5:30 p.m.

A red truck with “Mr. JP Towing” on the side was wedged against a pole about 200 feet south of where North Market crosses the MetroLink tracks.

No word yet on the extent of the damages to any individuals involved, but at least five people on the train were taken to the hospital after the impact shattered the train’s glass windows.

Devin Barnett, who also was on the train, said windows shattered after the impact. He counted at least five people transported by ambulance to area hospitals. Some, like him, signed waivers refusing treatment.

“I feel like somebody hit me,” he said. “But I’m gonna be alright.”

Someone probably did hit you during the chaos. Check your wallet.

No idea how a large, bright red, truck on the tracks was so dammed hard to see but to be fair, the MetroLink driver was probably too busy trying to get the entire microphone in to their mouth before letting everyone that there is no food or drink allowed on the same train we saw some crackhead pee in once.

via STLToday

The train that takes the wheezing fat parents that turn to their excited child and say “Maybe…maybe…wheeew….maybe we take the train for a little….while? That’ll be fun huh? …no, walking isn’t always fun and we can see the monkeys some other time…lets just ride the train for a little while and then, ooooohhh! Dippin Dots!” derailed Saturday afternoon in a tunnel near “Big Cat Country”.

No one was injured. One car had derailed wheels about 5 inches off the track, but it did not tip over.

The engine did not leave the tracks.

My god. What horror stories. Our only hope is those passengers that managed to survive can somehow get on track and eventually lead normal lives.

Can you imagine all of the locomotive power behind this behemoth coming 5 inches off the track? Thank god for the steady hand of the old guy in an old-timey conductor costume!

via STLToday

If you are going on the MetroLink and are heading through Grand and Central West End prepare to spend an extra 20 minutes getting off the train, getting on a shuttle and then getting back on the train.  Also, that guy next to you that smells like piss and cocaine and for some reason has a change of clothes in a Schuncks bag, will be sitting right next to you on the shuttle.

Just remember, you paid $4 for that privilege.

MetroLink train passengers arriving at each station disembark and walk to a nearby bus, which drives them to the second station. Metro employees are on hand to direct them to waiting shuttle buses.

Sounds simple enough.  Metro can’t possibly screw that up can they…oh wait.  Crap.

The employees tell passengers that a train will be awaiting them at the next station. But some passengers said the train left just as their bus arrived. They said another train soon arrived, so they were outside in the cold only a few minutes.

There are so many things wrong with the MetroLink, we really should do a whole post on it.  For starters though: It’s late.  It shuts down for the night like an old man after Wheel of Fortune is over.  The officials seems only willing to pester actual paying customers while leaving the guy holding an assault riffle and using the train as an escape route from the cops alone.  …and now they can’t even get this right.

Sometimes I think if Spiderman saw a MetroLink train heading for a bridge taken out by Dr. Octopus, he’d just let it go, figuring that if he tried to help he would just get yelled at by the overweight “guard” on duty and then intimidated by overly aggressive poor people claiming the train as their turf.