We found this video via The St. Louis Egotist yesterday, and had to do the re-post. It’s really a very well done video with great shots of City Garden, City Museum, Forest Park, and all the other good places around town.

Notice how steady they keep the camera despite all the dead bodies and homeless people they had to step over to shoot it.

Its happened to us before and we’ve heard this more than a few times, so congratulations, its a pattern now St. Louis: We have retarded kids running around barking at people.

Oh we’re sorry, are you not familiar? Let us share how this usually goes…

Us: Hey! You made it.

Them: Yeah, no problems…well we got barked at, but other than that.

Us: What?

Them: We were driving down the street and some guy barked at us while waiting at a stoplight.

Us: What do you mean you were “barked at”?

Them: …we were barked at. Ruff ruff! Some guy leaded out his window and barked at us. Really weird.

The description for the barkers is always, and sadly, the same: 3 or 4 black guys in a car. Same goes for the barkees: 2 – 4 white people in a car. Settle down you alarmists out there…that’s the facts, plain and simple.

Seriously, barking at people?! What are these people thinking?

Our guess? I seems like the kids are trying to scare someone or get a rise out of their target, and frankly most of the time they probably succeed. But barking? Here’s a tip, if you want to scare someone barking’s not the way. The idea behind getting a rise out of someone is to surprise them, if you surprise them with how fucking retarded you are, that’s not really the point. If the goal is to try to get a rise out of a certain race, which is how it comes off, then congratulations, you’re a dirty racist. Good work. Way to be progressive. Fuck you. You’re not Dave Chappelle making some interesting and funny comment on race relations, you’re just making it look like everyone St. Louis is overrun by morons…which to be fair, isn’t far off, but we’re trying to keep this crap a secret and you’re blowing it.

There can’t be that many “barkers” in town, but it has to stop. This kind of shit is not helping any of the following issues with St. Louis:

1. People not wanting to visit the city.

2. The general belief that if you grew up in the city’s school district you are clinically retarded, no matter how smart you started out.

3. Lingering racial stress.

Lets get together St. Louis and stop barking at random people and while we’re at it stop giving in what “barkers” are left roaming the streets. Here’s what we did when we were barked at a few months ago: Dude walked past us on the sidewalk and we made eye contact, but before I could do the traditional head-nod of “I don’t know you, you don’t know me, but hey, hope things are going well for you.” he leans forward and barked in my face.  We didn’t even blink as he walked past. See, he didn’t realize it, but we’ve seen a black person before him and were unafraid, just like if a white guy barked in our face…same thing.

…now if a Puerto Rican barked in our face, we would have probably wet ourselves, but a black guy? Come on. That’s just silly.

Editor’s Note: DMX picture above because we think he started this some how. To be clear DMX is now a nobody filming his Behind the Music while being one of the thousands of washed up stars that found Jesus a starting a ministry. Congrats DMX, you are now in the same category as Daniel Baldwin!

Its not a lot of time, but that’s all it took New York Times reporter Dan Saltzstein to find 12 notable items for the world to visit if they happen through the gateway to the west you now just fly over since very few planes actually land here anymore.

St. Louis is more than just a Gateway to the West. The famous arch, of course, is still there, along with plenty of 19th-century architecture and an eye-opening amount of green space. But St. Louis is a lively destination in its own right, full of inviting neighborhoods, some coming out of a long decline and revitalized by public art, varied night life and restaurants that draw on the bounty of surrounding farmland and rivers. Add to that a mix of Midwestern sensibility and Southern charm, and you’ve got a city looking to the future.

Good. We fool’d em. Just kidding we’re good people with fun stuff going on here, its just hard to see sometimes through to large piles of shit dotting the area. How did Saltzstein come away so cheery from his St. Louis  encounter? Lets look at that travelogue shall we?

1. Cherokee Street

2. Soulard

3. Iron Barley / FSFU

4. SweetArt

5. Botanical Gardens

6. Pappy’s

7. the Citygarden

8. Forest Park

9. Local Harvest Cafe

10. the Royale

11. Winslow’s Home

12. Washington University

Well now this makes perfect sense! If you stick mainly to South City and don’t venture much more west than Wash U and no more north than Delmar, St. Louis is pretty damn amazing. If you go past those boundaries though, barring a few oasis-type exceptions, you’ll have to burn that shirt because the stink just doesn’t come out of your clothes.

How many of those activities have you done? We’re rocking a respectable 9/12, but other’s, as evidence on the Reddit comment thread, aren’t as good:

I live in Saint Louis and have done, like, 2 of those things…. #

Just for that guy, we set up a little map of the New York Times’ travels if you want to start really experiencing St. Louis, or if you have someone coming to town because they accidentally fell out of their plane headed for a real airport.

View New York Times: 36 Hours in St. Louis in a larger map

Link to map: http://bit.ly/bO7tdB

via New York Times

Apparently visiting our fair city is foreign enough to people that someone had to write an article on eHow describing the steps to take.  Here is a sampling:

Difficulty: Easy

St. Louis is known as the gateway to the west and it was the first major settlement west of the Mississippi. St. Louis is home to three major league sports teams: MLB-Cardinals, NFL-Rams and NHL-Blues. St. Louis was home to the 1904 World’s Fair and is also home to many other attractions, and tourist attractions.

Step 4: Enjoy a cruise on the Mississippi River onboard either of two riverboats; the Becky Thatcher or the Tom Sawyer.

Step 6: Experience the thrill and excitement that is Six Flags theme park when you ride on on any of the adrenaline charged thrill rides and roller coasters.

Two things jump out at me here: 1. Is Six Flags isn’t much of a St. Louis attraction, I mean there are a bunch of them.  2. At what point can we stop talking about a fair that happened over 100 years ago?  Yes, it was a big deal at the time, but let. it. go.  We sound like the damn Cubs for christ sake!

Someone edit this and add something about reading Punching Kitty in step 7.  I would do it, but that wouldn’t be right.

According to USAToday, a new interactive art exhibit is being installed in to Lambert Airport.

The feature is called Windows on St. Louis. It’s a glass-walled gallery where six cultural attractions have filled the windows with art and memorabilia.

Touch-screen computer technology allows people to take a digital tour of the Gateway Arch grounds. Other sections highlight celebrated museums, neighborhoods and a cathedral.

You wanna know something thats going to shock you?  We are 100% behind this idea.  Now we haven’t yet seen one of the displays, but we are assuming the displays are nice, work well, and show the good parts of St. Louis, which in case you were wondering is anything not too far north, east, super west or south…basically we are talking about a 1 mile tall strip that runs from Busch Stadium to Skinker and then the Loop.

Here’s the problem with it though.  The “art exhibit” runs through December, because apparently after December St. Louis isn’t work promoting?!  Why would you make “art” that promotes St. Louis to travelers and then take it down after a few months?  Why does this kind of crap always go on in St. Louis, something cool happens and then we yank it?!  Can’t we have anything good for longer than a few months?!?!?

Oh wait, did the art just come with Matt Holliday?