St. Louis is in the midst of a bit of a crime issue…by which we mean there are areas that people feel kinda safe dotted throughout areas where no one should ever go ever. The Mayor’s office and the police force only seem able to fill their time complaining about every issue other than actually getting out there and putting a stop to this, while a mass of other politicians and residents like to pretend that everything’s going great while the population of the city continues to dive.

Missouri State Government to the rescue right?! Wrong. Right now your Missouri State Senators are waffling back and forth over a simple bill to fix the obvious problem of the complete lack of local police force control by the city government and voters, all the while, letting a bill that allows even more people to carry concealed weapons breeze right through.

Tone deaf buttholes.

This is exactly why St. Louis’s government and therefore, the voters, needs control over their own police force and why a bunch of moron state politicians from areas that have no idea what crime is other than that Wilkenson boy who keeps screwing the chickens and the wrong people to be making decisions about St. Louis. Nothing about having your 21 year old (though the original bill had it at 18), hunting since the age of 4, son to have a conceal and carry permit out in Speedtrap, Missouri…but in the city, it smells like the beginning of yet another gun fight.

“In urban areas, guns are a serious safety issue,” said state Sen. Maria Chappelle-Nadal, D-St. Louis.

Chappelle-Nadal was one of the only 6 no votes to the bill. Take note of her home district.

“Where I live, if you don’t have a gun it’s like you don’t have a car,” - State Sen. Brian Nieves, R-Washington

There’s one of the major proponents of the bill responding to Chappelle-Nadal just before offering her to come visit a gun range. Seriously. …how should we respond to this eloquently? “Fuck you Brian Nieves. You sound like a dick head that should try moving to North City for a few months.” is all that’s coming to mind.

We realize you can’t make laws at a state level that only make sense to one part of the state, and since having fair representation of a state where even 30 minutes outside the St. Louis City limits puts you in a dramatically different mindset when it comes to crime, we understand the way this vote went down. Maybe you even agree with it, and that’s fine. However, these gun-toting State Senators are the same ones that are screwing around and not letting the city control it’s own Police Department, and that’s so wrong it should be criminal. If you want to smile and be a hick asshole to the Senator from St. Louis about how she’s worried about loosened conceal and carry laws will lead to more violence in her home base, then at least admit that it’s a dramatically different environment, and let St. Louis do what it can to stem the crime issue.We know it’s worth screwing around with tax minutiae when you’re hanging out in Washington, Missouri reading a paper’s crime blotter than consists entirely of two kids getting drunk in a field and a couple of smashed mailboxes, you aren’t looking at the real issues here. Twisting the knife by passing a way to get guns in to more young people’s hands at the same time makes this whole thing stink even more than Kirstie Alley’s taint after a Dancing With The Stars episode.

Dammit.  You pussies.  The State Senate has voted to rename Mark McGwire highway.

McGwire has now admitted he used steroids, and the state Senate voted unanimously Monday to rename the section of interstate the Mark Twain Highway. The measure now goes to the House.

The bill also would name sections of a few other highways for noted Missourians.

We wanted the highway to stay with the current McGwire name not just because he was still pretty kick ass in 1998. (Sure he did ‘roids, but that’s not news anymore)  but also because its just a crap chunk of 70 that I’m pretty sure we can spare and most importantly, our state senate really should be focusing on something more important than whether or not a slab of asphalt should or should not be named after McGwire.

[Columbia State Senator] Schaefer says it might be wise to name roads only for the deceased, because they can’t do something worth changing the name over one day.

Good thinking Schaefer, lets name roads only after people that no one remembers who they are.  If we are being real for a second, if someone died and is awesome enough for a a tribute, we are going to name a real street or a building after them, not a chunk of 70 that people only complain about driving over.

For the record if something happens to us, please name a park after us.  We would like it to be in North St. Louis and have clearly designated areas for crack dealing as well as hobo knife fights.

via KSDK

The Missouri State Senate continues to make me believe that that are comprised of nothing but morons.  Not only did they recently take a unneeded swipe at Missouri’s gentlemen bars, but now they’re trying to make our special Zoo less special.

Recently University City’s State Senator Joan Bray proposed legislation that would charge any non-St. Louis County residents for admission.

Well the Zoo was all like “Whateva!” and released the following statement:

“The St. Louis Zoo does not intend to charge admission. We are committed to remaining free to all, including non-residents of St. Louis and St. Louis County, consistent with the language of the original legislation. We are not aware of the impetus behind the recent Missouri Senate amendment, but we are not in support of it as it pertains to the St. Louis Zoo.”

The Zoo closed it’s statement with: ”Also, we at the Zoo hope that nothing tragic happens to Senator Bray any time soon, like seeing your driveway covered in elephant crap or running in to a lion in her garage.”

via KSDK