You know those douche bags nerds that always turned in all their homework and when you didn’t have a chance to yours done because you were a little busy with feeling the naughty bits of the opposite sex, they would make sure the teacher knew that they did their work and you didn’t.  You just want to put your foot so far up their ass that you leave trademarks on their adam’s apple right?

The Census version of those kids are O’Fallon and St. Peters, MO.

Bedian said a census bureau tipped St. Peters officials about this Web page, which said O’Fallon ranked 44th and St. Peters 49th nationally. Both had a return rate of 61 percent, well above the national rate of 52 percent and Missouri’s overall rate of 55 percent.

If you were wondering, as we were, who the badass kid that sits in the back, always smells like smoke, uses aggression to cover up the fact that he is scared and gentle on the inside and never turns in their homework was. It looks like Osage Beach City, MO with only a 29% responding rate. Figures since he has all the parties over there with lots of drunk slutty chicks.

via STLToday’s Chas Beat

The Buffalo Wild Wings near Mid Rivers Mall in St. Peters was evacuated today after a bag with a “suspicious” device inside was found.

St. Peters police and fire and the St. Charles County Bomb Squad were called to the restaurant at I-70 and Mid Rivers Mall about the suspicious bag around 10:00 a.m. inside the business.

All of the employees had to evacuate the building until the bag was removed.

No one was injured and the restaurant reopened after about an hour.

Turns out it was a Speed Stick.  Please people don’t just leave your deodorant laying around in St. Peters.  New things that smell “funny” scare them.

I’m kidding!  There’s nothing explicitly wrong with wanting to live in one of thousands of similar looking houses that are all equidistant from a Walgreens and a Red Robin.

via KSDK