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sexy

Media

KSDK Thinks You Should Make Your Kids Uncomfortable This Christmas


Posted by The Editor on 04 Dec 2009 /
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iphone_textDid you know that 1 in 4 teens have sent a sexually explicit text message?  I know what you are thinking:  ”Damn, that’s hot!” But remember that 3 in 4 teens are ugly.  …plus KSDK thinks this is a bad thing and is urging parents to make this holiday extra special by corning your kids and reminding them not to be a whores over the cell phone.

“The holidays are a great time for parents to not only have conversations about this in an empowering way,” [author Carrie Silver-Stock] said. “Ask your kids, ‘Have you seen kids sexting?’ ‘Or have you noticed situations where there’s been harm?’ So it’s opening up as it’s more of a dialogue that can be empowering for the young person but it’s also a great time for parents to look for clues.”

“Have you kids seen ‘sexting’?”  Really?  That’s the best approach.  Maybe throw turn your hat backwards first and mention the Music Television before moving in to the sexting questions.  Seriously, does anyone actually call it “sexting”?

Oh and why are the holiday’s a good time to do this again?  If its so important, why not talk to them, you know, now? Eh…nevermind…the game is on.


Happening

St. Louis Gets Out-Skanked By Richmond, VA


Posted by The Editor on 17 Nov 2009 /
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tila_t_foxFor years we were #1 in the country.  The champs!  But our dynasty is finally over.  Richmond, VA is now the Sexually Transmitted Disease capital of the United States.  St. Louis has fallen to #2.

St. Louis has finally relinquished its title as the sexually transmitted disease capital, dropping to number two in the country for rates of gonorrhea and chlamydia. For several years the city’s disease rates topped the country.

St. Louis has a chlamydia rate of 1,225 cases per 100,000 residents. Baltimore has a higher rate, at 1,321. With gonorrhea, St. Louis’ rate is 539 cases per 100,000 residents. Richmond, Va. has the highest rate at 639.

The numbers show that out of 100,000 St. Louis residents, 1,225 have chlamydia and 539 have gonorrhea.  Scary, but I’m sure there are quite a few people with both.  Like that chick in high school that would also do that thing with her tongue  while she was doing that stuff with her hand while being spanked with that fish?  That slut totally has the STD snack pack.

Frankly though, we here at Punching Kitty are sad to see us lose this record.  For a while there, St. Louis was the #1 most dangerous city with the most STDs.  If you squint and tilt your head you could kinda make that like we were some kind of awesome action movie city with constant gun fights and sex with crazy broads.  Now that we’ve dropped in the rankings, we are just some city people assume constantly smells either like dead bodies or skanky cooz.

I mean, St. Louis hasn’t been winning much these days, so it stings to see this one get away from us.  Well, I think that’s why it stings…

via STLToday

(Tila Tequila because…well you know why.)


Crime

Donna Judish is the Sexiest Woman In St. Louis and Here’s My Plan to Get Her


Posted by The Editor on 08 Oct 2009 /
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dog460oct30

Man some guys get all the breaks.  She Richard up there?  He somehow broke off a piece of that sexy Donna up there!  Man.  How did he do it?!

It doesn’t matter though.  Now I have a plan to steal Donna away from him so I make out with her and find out what that crust on the corner of her mouth tastes like.

I don’t want to give it all away, but it starts with “Here’s a dollar…”

Photo via STLToday

Apparently these two fought another homeless guy over a dog, which I would have written about but then I realized that homeless people fighting over stuff isn’t even remotely newsworthy!  Way to be Post Dispatch.


Media

People Don’t Think St. Louis is Sexy? TotallyNotVanilla.com Isn’t Helping


Posted by The Editor on 06 Aug 2009 /
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totally_not_vanillaHey ladies of St. Louis!  Do you ever feel like you need to dress up in weird outfits or nothing at all and go to a strange-looking man’s office so he can take pictures of you for free as long as he can keep some himself and maybe post them on his website?  Well have I got the guy for you!  …also, I’m very sorry your daddy didn’t love you.

steve_004Meet Steve.  He’ll be your photographer.  Just leave your dignity there by the door.  If you have some nagging inhibitions, take a sip of that fizzing green liquid.  While  you drift off in to “lets take of my pants for the same guy I swear I’ve seen hanging around women’s bathroom with a Flip camera” land, lets read through Steve’s bio:

In 1974 Steve began taking pictures for the school newspaper, the year book,  joined the photography club and spent countless evenings in the darkroom developing film and enlarging prints. He won first place in a New York state-wide  photography competition and also received the New York City Fine Arts Award in “Creative Photography” at the age of 17.  He earned a Bachelor of Science degree from the State University of New York which included a minor in fine arts. Although Steve pursued a successful career in marketing, creative photography has remained a life long passion.

You really need to check out my man’s work on the site, TotallyNotVanilla.com, because I’m not posting that stuff here.  Let me just drop you some keywords though: Snizz, ugly, pancakes, glamor shots from hell, preggers, eeeww, one not bad chick but that might just be because she’s surrounded by uglies, birds for some reason, oh and NSFW


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