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Happening

Jay Leno Still Isn’t Funny


Posted by The Editor on 16 Feb 2011 /
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We hear tall tales that at one point in Tonight Show host, Jay Leno’s life, he was a comedian. That seems pretty far fetched, especially since old people told us that and they’re always liars, making up crap like slavery to impress us. Whatever. Anyway, the point is, Jay Leno is certainly not funny now and he shows anyone who cares to watch, 5 nights a week.

Last night he took a “shot” at Missouri and one Senator’s attempt to get those little children fingers back out there, doing important work for America by allowing children under 14 to work and stopping future child labor inspections and removing children work time limits. Here’s the setup:

And in Missouri, Republican state Sen. Jane Cunningham has introduced a bill that would eliminate her state’s child labor laws…

Oh man, this is kind of a weird bill. He could go a lot of places with this. Will he make a reference to how those little 12 year old arms with boundless energy are perfect for shaking the “instant meth” bottles? …or how since kids already play with balloons, and they get a pass at security, they don’t have issues with swallowing a few to get some “candy” across the border? …maybe he’ll mention the Cardinals new cost-savings plan to have kids spending their tween-years replacing the “Pujols” on jerseys with (Brad) “Hawpe” [Editor's Note: No. No one else has heard of him either.] Can’t wait to see where master observer Jay Leno takes this golden setup…

Well, yeah, I mean, why should the 10-year-olds in China be getting all the good factory jobs?

…and there you go. Horrible.

We would rather have a homeless guy give us the shocker than listen to Jay Leno. Which says a lot because last time we did that it was unpleasant at best.

via STLToday


Sports

More State Senators Running Wild: McKenna Hates Mark McGwire


Posted by The Editor on 24 Feb 2010 /
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Seriously, what the hell is wrong with our state senators?!  First they hate on poor defenseless nudie bars, then they try to strong arm the zoo, and now…well they are kicking a man while he’s down.

A Missouri state senator is trying to remove Mark McGwire’sname from a five mile stretch of Interstate 70 that runs through St. Louis. It’s the same lawmaker who pushed for the road to be renamed in honor of McGwire after his 1998 home run fueled season.

State Senator Ryan McKenna says that it’s now inappropriate in light of McGwire’s steroid admission.

Ok, so McGwire was taking the roids while we all collectively gave him a fan-job. Yeah, thats bad. But you know what? At the time he was basically a god and all we did was take a little stretch of a highway in the ugliest part of downtown and basically fake named it.  Yes, fake named it.  Its not really the Mark McGwire highway, its just highway 70…with a sign over it.

And now Senator McKenna wants to take the sign away.  Probably just so he can look cool and win the next election to state senate…you know because of all the power he wields.

That’s all.  He’s not “un-naming” anything, he just wants a sign taken down.  At this point, who gives a crap?  The dude knows he screwed up, and at this point who cares about a sign on the north part of downtown.  No one seems to care about the other ones there, like “Please don’t shoot other people.” or “It would be great if you would take a dump on the street homeless guys.”

We know its probably unpopular decision, but we at Punching Kitty say Don’t Take McGwire’s Sign!

Who’s with us?!

via KSDK


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