We present to you a few pie charts showing some relevant data but in the shape of pies because we both know you love pie. Maybe if you ate up science like you gobble down pie, you’d be working at that job you’d rather have. Something to think about, but today is a new day and you can have your lookin’ balls feast on fresh baked St. Louis science!

1. Reasons we go anywhere near North City

2. Tony LaRussa is pissed because…

3. Reasons why people move out of the city.

4. How straight guys end up on the Manchester Strip.

5. Why we disappeared for half of the week.

We all know East St. Louis sucks. Really sucks. Like, “Why can’t  you just call yourself ‘West Chicago’?” sucks. But do you know why? Not just the shootings and the hookers, but why there are shootings and hooker? …and why most eastern parts of other towns suck the same way, albeit, much less?

Take it away science!

The reason for this is that in much of the northern hemisphere, the prevailing winds are westerlies – blowing from west to east. The massive, unchecked pollution from these early industries would therefore drift eastward, making the air quality much lower in the east end of cities, lowering the desirability (and price) of the housing. Middle classes preferred the cleaner west ends.

The issue was probably even pre-Industrial Revolution, as smoke from personal chimneys would still have caused problems to the east.

Oh hey mind. You’ve got a crazy little sly smile going on there…you weren’t just blown by chance were you?!

We asked Science if it had any explanation as to what’s going on down in South County. It’s still working on that one…right now their best guess is syphilis. Sounds right to us.

via The Januarist

Begin press release:

To: Everyone

Re: St. Louis ranking #1 in something

According to a recent study by Punching Kitty.com, St. Louis has come out on top, over all the major US metro areas, as the best city for…um…this crazy thing…it’s not really important.

“After pouring through all the data we have concluded that St. Louis finally has a study to hang it’s hat on as it came in the clear number 1 beating out San Francisco, CA, New York City, NY and Bald Knob, AR” said editor Mike Flynn. The list of factors that went in to the decision included:

- Number of times you get asked for money during the day (bonus points if its the same person multiple times.)

- Percentage of unused parks.

- Overall coverage of kids that are maybe eleven but still totally intimidate you when walking past them in the street.

- Chances of actually getting the cab you called and reserved.

- Ratio of actual and ironic mullets in the metro area.

- Number of BBQ places that people review as “It’s ok.”

- The dart test.

- Overall count of women in clubs that look ok until the light glints off that snaggletooth and then you go “Eh.” and hook up anyway.

Those are just a small sample of the thing taken in to account and actually, there were tons of factors that went in to this decision, but in the end St. Louis came out on top. Other notables in the list of 100 were Portland, OR coming in at 7, Las Vegas, NV sliding in at 11, Boise, ID at 34, Kansas City at 76 and Chicago at 99.

Dead last went to Detroit, MI as is required by the recently passed “All Lists Must End with Detroit, MI” law that went in to effect after Detroit collectively crapped itself and then rolled over and slept in it back in 2008.

“Ugly Friend” (noun):

the friend of the hot girl who is never chosen first. She is always left alone and is very angry about it. When given the choice between the 2 the guys always chose the prettier friend and leave the ugly big nosed one out of the cold.   

You literally have to beg guys to touch the girl to give her a pity screw. 

Example: Sara is a real ugly friend.

Washed-up kids science show host and recurring guest “star” on CBS’ drama Numb3rs Bill Nye is coming to speak at St. Louis University at the Busch Student Center building on February 16th.  

The topic of his talk will be ”More with Less: How Saint Louis University Students are Going to Change the World.”  See the brilliance of it is putting the school he happens to be at is right in the title of the speech!  This can’t fail.  On a related note, I’ve heard from several rock groups that St. Louis is “the rockin’-est city in the world!”  

Whatever.  I always preferred “Beakman’s World” anyway. [See: here and here ]

Source: slu.edu