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sam bradford

Sports

Sam Bradford Had a Bad Hair Day and the Rams Remind Us They Still Suck


Posted by The Editor on 03 Jan 2011 /
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Sunday was Sam Bradford and the Rams chance to shine. They should have beaten a bad Seahawks team and at least showed a national audience that the Rams are up-and-commers in the league with a flash new star-in-the-making quarterback, Sam Bradford, not to mention doing the NFL a solid by not allowing the first sub .500 team in to the playoffs.

None of that stuff happened.

We should have known it was going to go sour from the very beginning when Sam Bradford showed up to his NBC Sports interview with Frank Gifford looking like we just pulled this kid off the farm and yanked his John Deer hat off his matted head. Jesus dude. You’ve got $65 Mil in the bank, maybe get a comb or at least take a freaking shower before your national TV interview.

After that the game came on. A game that was so bad it seems the Rams couldn’t even shit themselves correctly.It started with the coaching staff clearly having their team ready to go out there and take a dump on national TV with mindbogglingly bad play-calling (Only running Steven Jackson 11 times against the league’s worst run defense?!), but then the players managed to make it worse with dropped passes, interceptions, and loads of miss tackles. It’s like they walked out there to take a shit right there on the field, but instead it got worse when they were fumbling with their belt and then couldn’t get their pants down correctly…and forgot to squat, or even just squeeze their butt cheeks. The next thing we all knew we’re looking at a Rams team with poo rolling down their leg. Not a good look when rocking the white pants.

Through our sexy super journalistic abilities we actually acquired a photo of Rams coach Steve Spagnuolo showing off his game plan just prior to tonights debacle.

How did no one notice this wasn’t going to work?! It’s just a giant pile of poop with a little flag in it! We would think better plans don’t look like this…at least have a bigger flag in there.


Sports

Here’s the Actual Photo of Sam Bradford in a Mizzou Jersey


Posted by The Editor on 28 Oct 2010 /
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On Monday we mocked up what we thought it would look like when Sam Bradford pays off his bet with a Rams teammate about who would win Saturday’s game of Mizzou vs Oklahoma (above), but yesterday the real thing went down and we have photos of Oklahoma’s former QB rocking a personalized Mizzou jersey, courtesy of Rams wide receiver Danario Alexander.

It all started with an early morning tweet by Alexander saying simply “Good morning people!! I have a surprise for you today.”

A few hours later two more tweets followed with attached photos of Bradford rocking his personalized Mizzou jersey with his old college days number 14 on the front:

When reporters asked if Bradford ever thought about going to Mizzou out of high school, the media-savvy rookie quarterback replied:

Absolutely not, I wanted to win Big 12 championships.

…and what will he do with his personalized Mizzou jersey?

It’s going right back to Mr. Alexander. He can take it wherever he got it.

Full photos after the jump!

via AP

(more…)


Sports

Bradford Loses His First Game, but the Internet Doesn’t Care


Posted by The Editor on 13 Sep 2010 /
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The first Sunday in the 2010 NFL season was a day of ups and downs for Rams starting quarterback and St. Louis Prom King in-waiting, Sam Bradford. Some of those moments were more obvious than others, but it’s still worth running through Sam’s day:

As the fans piled in to the Edward Jones Dome its clear St. Louis loves Sam Bradford. All the Rams of yesteryear be dammed! Replace that Torry Holt jersey! …or if you have duct tape in your trailer (it’s under the pile of Natural Lite cans, to the right of your black and white TV with the HD converter box and bunny ears), just turn #81 in to #8. No it looks good! You can barely tell:

(tip of the cap to Aaron Hooks of Cards Diaspora for the photo.)

Bradford +1!

The game finally begins! …and it’s rough going in the first quarter: blocked field goal, 3 & out, interception…

Bradford -1.

Second quarter starts with more of the same, but end with a great drive and Sam’s first regular season touchdown in a great rollout play!

Bradford +1!!

…and during the ensuing touchdown celebration, wide receiver laurent robinson, who caught the pass, gave the ball away to a family member in the stands, instead of giving it to Bradford who just threw his first NFL TD pass. You can’t couch up stupid it appears.

Bradford -1.

The game went on, and though it was close throughout, Sam threw 2 more interceptions (though, neither were really “bad” plays on Bradford’s part) and the Rams lost.

Bradford -1.

Despite the loss, the praise is being heaped on Bradford in his first start and the Rams fans felt like they gave a crap for the first time in years:

“It was good to have the crowd behind us,” running back Steven Jackson said. “It’s been a while since we’ve had that kind of energy in the dome.

Bradford +1

Not only are the Rams fans Bradford crazy, despite the loss, apparently Sam’s legend is growing all over the world as Sam Bradford was #6 most searched term on Google Sunday evening:

Bradford +1!

So the day ends with Bradford at +1. Look, Sam I know you feel down right now with the loss, but you are the St. Louis Rams quarterback and you ended the day with a “+1″. That’s better than its been for a long long time….and…um…no tie Sam? Dude fix your collar!

Bradford -1.

So…as we were saying, breaking even on the day as the St. Louis Rams quarterback hasn’t happened in a long long time.

In other news, Marc Bulger will try to sit on his hand as long as he can and then touch his face to see if it will feel like someone else is touching him during tonight’s game. Oh and everyone in Dallas hates former Rams dumbass Alex Barron.


Capitalism and Politics

Sam Bradford is Rich Biatch!


Posted by The Editor on 02 Aug 2010 /
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Over the weekend, the Rams’ #1 draft pick, quaterback Sam Bradford finally signed his contract and it was for a lot of money. A believe the parlance is a “panty dropping amount”.

No. 1 overall draft pick Sam Bradford agreed to a six-year, $78 million contract with the St. Louis Rams Friday night, with $50 million in guaranteed money.

The Rams and the former Oklahoma quarterback concluded negotiations in time for the first full-squad workout, set for Saturday. The guaranteed money is the highest ever in the NFL.

It can get even better for Bradford since, after incentives, the contract can reach $86 Million.

Though his name is getting to be well-known, most people can’t recognize a photo of Bradford. Here’s a hint: If you see a guy around St. Louis reenacting the video below, that’s him.

You know what we’d do with that kind of money? Two chicks at the same time. We figure a dude with that kinda money could hook that up.

via ESPN


Sports

Welcome to St. Louis Sam Bradford


Posted by The Editor on 23 Apr 2010 /
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“I can’t wait to get to St. Louis.” – Sam Bradford on ESPN

With the first pick of the NFL amateur draft, the Rams took the quarterback from Oklahoma Sam Bradford. This is the new face of the Rams franchise.

“You have no idea how excited I am just to have the opportunity to come to St. Louis and play my NFL career there,” Bradford said in a conference call. “It’s just a blessing and I can’t wait to get there and get to work.”

St. Louis was 1-15 last season and scored a league-low 175 points. The Rams cut incumbent Marc Bulger in the offseason. The 2008 winner of the Heisman Trophy appeared in only three games in 2009, his junior year, before undergoing right shoulder surgery. His recovery has been so complete that the Rams didn’t hesitate to make him the future face of the franchise.

No surprises here, in the last few weeks, despite their best efforts to hide it, it was pretty clear the Rams were spending their time drawing hearts on their notebook and filling the pages with Mrs. Bradford over and over again. Bernie Miklasz quoted Rams coach Steve Spagnuolo as saying

“We’re fired up. This is a special guy. He’s got all the things you look for in a quarterback.”

A couple of questions remain…

1. He knows we were 1-15 not 15-1 last year right? I mean awesome to see you so excited, but know we are a little more like the fat girl with headgear rather than Kate Beckinsale as far as hot football dates go.

2. When is he going to sign on the dotted line and make this official? All reports so far say not any time soon. We don’t get the diva vibe off of Bradford, but his agent is going to starting at $50 Million and going up from there, so it sure as hell won’t be next week.

3. Is he going to start. The Rams are telling Bernie (via Twitter) that “Bradford is under no pressure to start (immediately).” but when your next best option is A.J. Feeley, that shiny new quarterback in the garage is going to look awfully tempting.

4. Doesn’t Suzy Kolber look awkward in that dress? She’s cute. But girl next store that plays baseball with you cute, not dressed up cute. We’re betting she’s still got something tomboyish going on under there. Maybe he has her pubes in pig tails.

via ESPN

[Editor's Note: Do you know Sam? Do you know someone who knows Sam? Anything?! We'd love to hear from you: tips@punchingkitty.com]


Sports

It’s Time You Got To Know Sam Bradford


Posted by The Editor on 06 Apr 2010 /
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It’s happening. All the signs are there. After the Rams signed only AJ Feeley, and the Redskins trading for McNabb, and yesterday’s news that Marc Bulger has been released, its clear the Rams are going to draft Sam Bradford in a few weeks with the #1 pick in the NFL draft.

Here are a few things to get you started in getting to know St. Louis’ soon-to-be poster child of rich athletes.

For one, he’s not much for Facebook. This appears to be his fan page, but after a few football promo pics, there isn’t much here. He makes up for his lack of posting with an acute ability to make friends though as he is up to nearly 30,000!

Does Bradford have a girlfriend? We aren’t sure, but we did find out his last known girlfriend was apparently one Kelsey Kurtz (here’s her private Facebook page). She’s cute. Bring her to St. Louis Sammy!

We also know Sam Bradford likes Coldplay as we dug up a story on a Sooner message board of someone running in to him at a Coldplay concert. Not sure how we feel about that.

To wrap up our intro to Sam Bradford, we have a video of an interview by the University of Oklahoma TV station (we use the term loosely):


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